


let your heart be next to mine (before the flame goes out tonight)

by justpalsbeingals



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Childhood Friends, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Featuring, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, background Legends hijinks, cabins (the kind of fancy ones), fake feelings which turn into real feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:28:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 45,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27623399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justpalsbeingals/pseuds/justpalsbeingals
Summary: “I just got the best idea.”Sara’s elated voice does nothing to calm Ava’s already racing heart after the past minute’s events. There’s a dangerous gleam to Sara’s eyes, one Ava’s seen before one too many pranks and dangerous decisions. “No.”“You don’t even know what it is yet!”orSara and Ava were childhood friends who spent every summer together. Now they’re in their 20s, and a summer trip brings them back together again. Of course, both of their families choose to pester them about their dating life. Fake dating each other is the perfect way to get them off their backs. Just for the summer, right?
Relationships: Laurel Lance & Ava Sharpe, Laurel Lance & Sara Lance, Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 184
Kudos: 409





	1. bad ideas, i know where they lead (but i got too many to sleep)

**Author's Note:**

> Me during the summer: writes a fic with winter holidays  
> Me during the winter: suddenly thinking about summer 24/7
> 
> fic title from Raging Fire by Phillip Phillips  
> chapter title from Bad Ideas by Tessa Violet

“You’re going to be there, right?”

“I don’t know, Nate.” Ava wedges her phone between her ear and shoulder, feeling a crick in her neck form in the few seconds it takes her to sign the paperwork an intern is shoving her way. “Work is really busy right now. We’re in the middle of a merger. I can’t exactly afford to take time off and-”

“What? You start working corporate and wearing those fancy suits and now you’re too good for cabins and hot dogs?”

Ava huffs, “You know it’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like?” 

Out of the corner of her eye, Ava notices her boss tornado his finger in the air, a signal to wrap it up. She nods brusquely, intending to tell Nate she has to go, but her friend is still talking.

“Come on, it’s Quentin’s fiftieth. He wants you there. You’re like a daughter to him.”

“I can’t-”

“We haven’t all been together in years. You can’t miss this,” Nate pleads. 

He’s not wrong. She really shouldn’t miss this. “I have to go. Meeting’s starting.”

“Ava-”

“I’ll be there,” she resigns.

Ava can hear the smile in Nate’s reply. “I know.”

That conversation happened in late April, amidst the biggest merger between two banks since the turn of the century. But now it’s June, and work has settled down. New employees have their footing and are set in their positions. Ava has an entire payroll dedicated to tasks she alone used to be responsible for, meaning she can finally breathe again.

And now, now Ava has been granted six weeks of leave. Or, rather, “work from home” privileges, because there’s no way Ava’s boss would be okay with her being off the clock entirely. 

Six weeks out of the office. It’s almost unheard of. Ava hasn’t spent six weeks out of the office in… ever. Normally this kind of gap would leave her stumped without a daily schedule, but she’s currently halfway back to somewhere she hasn’t been since she was eighteen years old. 

Nestled in the backwoods, a few hours from the nearest proper city, is Starling Campground: a collection of fourteen cabins all clustered around a springhead, complete with fire pits, charcoal grills, communal bath halls, and trash cans with specialty anti-bear locking lids. From the time she was eight onwards, Ava spent most every summer here. 

Her cousin, Nate, and his parents, Ava’s Aunt Dot and Uncle Hank, always rented a cabin for the season, and their closest friends did the same. It was the highlight of the year, weeks of nothing but swimming and hammocks, s’mores and stargazing. The other families with the same schedule became some of Ava’s closest friends. 

The Lances were a staple at Starling Campground, the paternal head, Quentin, being the grounds manager. Custody arrangements meant his girls spent the summer with him. Laurel Lance was as good as family to Ava, her friend from the get-go. Quentin was a secondary father figure. 

Their formative summers were spent out in nature. Mosquito bites were no bother out in the campground, not when there were endless opportunities to explore and friendships to build. Ava looks back on those times fondly. A time when she could be less focused on making something of herself and more focused on just existing.

Of course, all good things must come to an end, and when college hit, so came the end of wilderness summers. The annual camping trip was traded for internships and classes and volunteer trips, bug spray ditched in favor of more economically desirable career advances. 

Given that Ava has spent the past years climbing the corporate ladder to be Head of Financial Planning, it’s no wonder she’s barely thought of Starling Campground. Until Laurel reached out, saying it was her father’s fiftieth birthday this coming July and nothing would make him happier than having the summer crowd back for a few weeks. While some of their original group, Nate Heywood and family, the Tarazi siblings, even Nora Darhk, agreed to the vacation without hesitation, Ava had been more reluctant. 

Now that she has a break in her schedule, a competent assistant, and plenty of employees to pick up the slack in her absence, Ava really doesn’t have an excuse not to show at the woody site she was once accustomed to. 

She arrives just before dusk, the sky turning shades of cotton-candy pink and burnt orange above the tree line. Ava pulls up to her home for the summer, cabin seven, as fires begin to pop up along the edge of the loop. She fishes her bag from her trunk and takes in the scene.

The air smells of smoke and trees, the combination of untouched nature and man’s greatest invention a scent Ava is deeply familiar with. _Smells like summer_ , Ava thinks, as she smacks a palm down over her shoulder. She removes her hand to be met with the sight of blood and the smashed body of a mosquito. _Definitely summer_.

Before Ava sees Nate, she hears him, his voice carrying across the campground with abandon. She’s barely closed her trunk and turned around when he crashes into her body and envelopes her in a bear hug. 

“Nate, some space,” she manages to gasp out from under his crushing grasp. Nate relinquishes his hold and immediately launches into a long winded tale. He catches her up on who has shown already, who is staying in what cabin, which of their old friends won’t be making it, and Ava listens as she moves her belongings inside.

Nate and his parents are a few cabins down, in number twelve. They have one of the larger lodges - it’s actually two bedrooms - but Nate anticipates he’ll be spending a lot of time with Ava rather than live under the same roof as his parents for that long. Zari and Behrad Tarazi have decided to come this year without their parents, bunking up with Charlie, whom Ava hasn’t seen in the flesh since they moved to London the summer after tenth grade. 

Nora will arrive early the next morning with her boyfriend, Ray. Ava’s excited to meet him; she’s heard a million and one stories, but never seen the human embodiment of sunshine Nora has somehow fallen for. Her father will come by later in the summer to be present for Quentin’s actual birthday.

There’s a smattering of other characters Nate mentions, some familiar campground inhabitants who are cycling in for short term stays, others newbies passing through, before he gets to the Lances. Quentin Lance and his daughters, Laurel and Sara, are settled in at the most central cabin, number eight. Next door neighbors to Ava.

Ava flips on the lights in her new home and observes the place. It’s small for sure, one of the smallest cabins on the campground, but it’s hers alone. There’s a full bed, a small kitchenette with a mini-fridge and microwave, and a four-seat wooden table where she dumps her laptop unceremoniously. Looking at the kitchen area reminds Ava she hasn’t eaten since breakfast, and her stomach growls wantonly.

Nate laughs a hearty chuckle. “There’s already burgers on the grill. Let’s go.” 

When they make it over to Nate’s cabin, where his father is manning the grill, there’s a crowd of people ready to welcome Ava with hugs. She accepts them easily. 

It’s been a while since Ava has seen most of their friends in person. Since high school, for a few. Everyone looks a little less gangly, a little more confident, and Ava smiles. As much as she resisted the idea of taking time off work, Ava suddenly can’t wait to spend the next few weeks relatively off the grid and catching up with people who mean so much to her. 

Laurel gives Ava the biggest hug of all, and Ava hangs on extra tights. Laurel’s her best friend, has been since they were in the third grade and Laurel lent Ava her Harry Potter books for the summer, and Ava misses her constantly. Although they lived far from each other as kids - Ava in Fresno with her parents while Laurel stayed with her mom over in Central City - the two were always in contact, first with handwritten letters and home phone calls when no one was using the dial up, then via online messengers and texts when they got old enough for cells.

Every summer was spent at Starling Campground, joined at the hip. Sleepovers each night, sharing books and hammocks and secrets; growing up, Nate half wondered if Ava even wanted to go camping to spend time with him and his parents, or if it was just to be with Laurel. The blissful months of June and July were time for Ava and Laurel to rejoice in their friendship while avoiding Laurel’s sister and her minions.

While Laurel was the quiet child, a perfect subdued match to Ava’s mellowed nature, Sara was practically feral. Two years younger than Laurel, Sara was content to spend every summer pulling pranks, sneaking off to smoke pot, and being a generally rowdy pain in the backside. Her, Charlie, and Behrad were a trinity of bad ideas until about the age of sixteen. 

Ava thinks of it as she catches eyes with Sara, who flitters her fingers and shoots a charming smile. 

Ava settles herself around the fire pit and catches up with the rest of the crew, burger in hand. Questions bounce around relating to everyone’s jobs, pets, parents, and, of course, their dating life. Which is to say, Ava is grilled on her lack of a partner by half of those in attendance.

Uncle Hank is the first to light into her, goading Ava about how she really is going to end up lonely save for a cat if she doesn’t stop focusing so much on her career. Aunt Dot joins in with double the fervor. Just as Ava thinks she manages to sideline the conversation, Quentin Lance pipes up about Sara and her lack of a serious relationship. 

“Daddy,” Sara warns, her voice tight.

“I’m just saying, baby, you could do a lot better than those short hookups you’re so used to.”

The way Sara rolls her eyes makes Ava think things haven’t changed that much since they were teenagers. Sure, Quentin’s gentle lectures back then were about success in school rather than finding someone serious, but the delivery looks much the same.

Laurel claps a hand down on her father’s knee. “Let’s leave Sara alone. We’ve got a whole summer to convince her that committed relationships are a wonderful thing.” Laurel shoots a look that says the conversation is far from over.

Something tells Ava this isn’t the first time the topic has been broached. It probably won’t be the last.

Sara grabs a handful of loose leaves from the ground and tosses them her sister’s way. “Who wants a committed relationship when you could just have fun.”

“Or build an empire,” Nate adds in, with a sharp look towards Ava. The words themselves could be a compliment, but Nate means it as anything but. He means it as a jab, a reminder that Ava has been neglecting the important relationships in her life lately. Why everyone is so interested in Ava’s love life is beyond her. It's not like twenty-six and single is spinster territory.

Somewhere on the other side of the fire, Zari launches into a conversation on building an empire, taking the conversation from romance to influencing, and Ava is happy to keep herself quiet for a bit. 

After a few hours, the fire starts to dwindle down to its final charred logs, and the scene becomes more smoke, less flame. The crowd disperses for the night. 

Ava goes through her nighttime routine, compromising on a shower in turn for washing her face in the kitchen sink. She’ll make use of the communal showers in the morning; Ava’s spent too many summers here to risk the spiders who make their way out at night. Just as Ava’s about to roll into bed, movement outside her window catches her eye. 

She pulls back the gossamer curtain to see Sara, pajamas donned and flask in hand. Sara walks to the picnic table behind her cabin and sits on the top, feet perched on the bench normally meant for seating. She takes a large swig, then rubs her hand over her face in distress. 

Ava knows that look. She might not have spent much time with Sara in the past eight years, but Ava doubts her tells have changed that much. It’s a look of long held composure cracking back to reveal doubts.

Slipping her feet into some shoes, Ava makes her way out the back of her cabin. Sara’s head swivels at the sound of the door creaking open. When she sees it’s Ava, she raises her cheeks in a halfhearted smile. 

Ava joins Sara on the picnic table and gestures towards the flask. Before taking a sip, Ava comments, “Well, this seems familiar.”

There was a time, over half a decade ago, when Sara and Ava sat on this very same picnic table, Sara drowning her sorrows while Ava talked through her problems. A time when Sara’s complaints were about Laurel always being the golden child or her first girlfriend leaving after a year of foreign exchange or her parents and their never-ending tension. 

Ava always lent a listening ear when she could. Despite Sara generally being a pain in the ass, Ava looked out for Sara; Sara was as much her friend as Laurel. When she wasn’t busy getting under Ava’s skin for seemingly no reason that is. 

And Sara? Well, maybe Sara once had a bit of a crush on Ava. But that was an era ago, when Ava was a staple in her life. An annoying and consistent staple who was anal and organized and easy to annoy and poke fun at. Back when Sara was young and unrestrained and desperate for someone to love her and Ava was Laurel’s sidekick, but still someone she admired in more ways than one.

Growing up changed that a little, made Sara desire true love a little less and short term enjoyment a little more. It doesn’t mean seeing Ava here, on a picnic table she’s sat at what feels like thousands of times, fails to ignite any feelings of nostalgia. In fact, quite the opposite.

“I have a reputation to uphold. Have to get in my yearly picnic table angst session sometime.” Sara keeps her voice light, but it’s strained enough she bets Ava can pick up on her tension. Ava always had a knack for seeing right through any of Sara’s walls. 

“Thought we gave those up when we started being real adults.”

Sara scoffs. “Who says we’re real adults?” 

Ava raises the flask to that, taking another sip of the beverage within before handing it back to Sara. As she drinks, Ava furrows her brow the slightest amount. “Since when do you drink brandy?”

Sara shrugs. It’s a detail the average person wouldn’t have questioned, what kind of alcohol she’s currently drinking, but of course Ava notices. It’s a comment made by someone who’s known Sara so long she knows her inside and out. Sara isn’t surprised; Ava always was the observant type. 

Rather than answer, Sara comments on Ava’s outfit. She’s dressed in a notched pajama top with matching pants, all blue and white stripes and silky material, and exactly opposite what Sara’s currently wearing: an oversized shirt that Sara thinks came from a one night stand and old martial arts shorts whose lettering has long since worn away. On anyone but Ava, it would be atrocious. Even still, it’s comical, and Sara’s can’t resist teasing.

“Since when do you sleep in matching PJ sets? You look like Scrooge.” She smiles enough to let Ava know she’s joking, but tilts her head so Ava will interpret it as mockery. Just as expected, Ava does.

“Hey!” Ava objects, smacking Sara’s bicep with the back of her hand. “I’m pretty sure he wears a nightgown, not pants.”

Sara shrugs. “Still stripes. You also kind of look like Hank right now.”

Sara remembers one particular prank involving a racoon when she was fourteen which resulted in Hank running out of the cabin in his nightclothes. They bear a striking resemblance to Ava’s pajama set.

“That’s so cold.” The groan Ava lets out tells Sara she hit a sore spot, and it prompts Sara to let out a laugh.

“It’s kind of working for me,” Sara compliments, both meaning it and not meaning it at the same time. Sara turns her attention away from Ava’s face and misses the way heat rises into her cheeks. Not that it would have mattered; Ava was always easy to fluster.

Out of view, Ava shakes her head. It figures even years haven’t quelled Sara’s habit of deft, though also obvious, flirting with Ava. That habit spanned back years. As soon as Sara noticed she could charm her way into people’s hearts, she turned up the charisma. The only person who never really fell for it was Ava, even if her body always betrayed her with a blush.

The duo sit in silence for a while, passing the flask back and forth between them until it’s close to drained. Despite having been years since they’ve spent substantial time together, there’s a comfortable familiarity that has both women feeling at ease. As they sit, Ava considers the way they’ve grown. Teenage years mostly had Sara at Ava’s throat, all brash attitude as she played the role of Laurel’s kid sister. Now Sara’s brashness has been replaced with a sturdy confidence, undercut only by whatever encounter has brought Sara to drink alone outside.

From the corner of her eye, Sara watches Ava. She looks tired. It could just be from the travel day - it took Ava a plane followed by a three hour car ride to get to Starling Campground - but to Sara, it looks like something else. 

Ava looks worn down. _A true corporate leader,_ Sara thinks briefly, before she shakes her head to herself. Sara doesn’t mean to be one of those bitter people, least of all with Ava. 

Ava is successful, and no one has a right to make her feel bad about it. As much as everyone protests about Ava’s lack of time spent visiting in past years, Sara admires Ava for it. She always knew she’d make something of herself, and Ava has. 

Eventually, Sara addresses her reason for being out here. “My dad was riding me again about my dating life. You know I love the man,” Sara hits her first into her open palm, “but sometimes he does not make it easy.”

After the bonfire, as she was preparing for bed, Quentin felt it appropriate to once again talk to Sara about his worries. He held concerns that Sara was stopping herself from “feeling” and didn’t want her to close herself off to love. After all, Quentin was married with a kid by the time he was Sara’s age.

(Sara restrained her urge to mention that her parents’ marriage didn’t exactly work out for the long run. Somehow it seemed like the wrong tactic to help the situation.)

Ava nods her head in earnest. “I commiserate. Aunt Dot spent forty minutes on the phone with me earlier, asking when I’d meet a nice gal and have some kids. The words "dusty uterus" were used. I think she even got Nate in on it. He was extra pushy.”

“Imagine if someone in our family cared more about our happiness than our relationship status.” Sara wonders for a second if Ava is truly happy with where she’s at, but as quickly as the thought appears, it’s whisked away. 

“Why would they, when they could just annoy us about it for the next six weeks?” 

When Ava says that, Sara rolls her head back in misery. “Oh God. Why did I agree to be here for six weeks?”

Ava laughs, a surprisingly pleasant sound to Sara’s ears, and in turn, Sara smiles. Her dad may have been on her case tonight, but Sara is happy to be here for the summer. It’s the first chance she's had to really relax in years. The company isn’t half bad either.

“I gotta find some way to get the peanut gallery off my back.”

“I’ll let you know if I get any great ideas,” Ava replies.

Sara offers up the final sip of brandy to Ava, who shakes her head. Sara empties it, before laying back on the table. Ava joins after a beat. 

The stars here are bright; their shine isn’t dulled by city smog or planes or light pollution. Sara loves being out here, away from the stressors of real life and closer to the nature she feels such kinship with. Hours away from anything more than a small town, the woods here feel wild, teeming with energy at night. Sara can relate. Since arriving two days before, she’s been jumpy, just itching to do something reckless. As if to punctuate Sara’s thoughts, there’s a loud rustle in the trees behind the table. 

Both women sit up, stick straight, Ava fully on guard with one leg half on the ground and ready to bolt. A wiry brown frame exits from between the trees, and Ava’s shoulders relax halfway. 

Sara’s chuckle is a little too loud. At the disturbance, the deer startles back into the woods. “What were you expecting, a bobcat?” Sara waves her hand towards Ava’s taught posture. She looks ready to pounce. 

“Oh, shut it,” Ava chastises. “You know what, whatever,” She says, when Sara keeps on with her quiet laugh.

Ava hops down from the table. “Don’t be rude to your friends, Lance. Keep this up, and next time I won’t come help with your brooding.”

“Helping? That’s what we call drinking half my supply these days?” Sara brings faux protest to her voice. 

“That’s my service fee.” 

It’s something so familiar between her and Ava. A gentle taunting, shadowed by a layer of genuine care. Sara rolls her eyes. If this summer is anything like usual, Sara will be repeating the action a million more times before it’s done. She wonders momentarily if eye muscles can get buff.

As Sara ponders the possibility of beefy orbits, Ava lets out a yawn. When a glance down at her watch reveals the time to be past midnight, Sara’s eyes spring open. Ava just jumped back two zones; it feels like 2 A.M. to her. 

“Do you mind if I-” Ava throws her head back over her shoulder, towards her cabin and the surely worn out mattress within. 

“Don’t stay up on my account.”

Sara watches as Ava’s door swings closed and the bedside lamp clicks off. She glances back up at the stars once more before making a move to dismount the bench. 

Being back here is nice, Sara decides, even with her dad’s not-so-gentle life advice. Maybe this summer will be good for her. She needs some time to reflect and figure out next steps. 

It’s not that Sara isn’t satisfied with her life. She’s happy, mostly. Bartending in the evenings and working at the gym as a trainer is fulfilling, but she can’t help but think of how Ava and Laurel both managed to transform their lives completely. It seems everyone else wants her to be taking bigger steps - if not career-wise, then definitely on the relationship front. 

If nothing else, Sara hopes this summer will offer some clarity in terms of her own happiness. She has nothing but time to reflect.

It takes hardly a few days for everyone to get into the swing of things. Between a few conference calls here and there, Ava finds her schedule mostly free, and she falls back into old habits and new memories.

Ava and Laurel, thick as thieves as always, savor in their time together. It’s been a while since they’ve had more than a long weekend in each other’s company. This more than makes up for it. 

Between food runs to the one grocer within thirty miles, bucolic hikes along half maintained paths, and dunks in the crystal clear spring, Laurel and Ava catch up on each and every detail of their lives. Laurel tells Ava of Tommy, their childhood friend turned something more in the past six months. He’ll be joining the crew later in the summer, along with his father, one of Quentin’s close pals.

Laurel tells story after story of her newfound love and happiness, and Ava can’t help but smile. Laurel seems genuinely at ease in the way one can only hope their best friend will be.

In return, Ava fills Laurel in on the newest aspects of her job. In truth, Ava is getting tired of it. Working for a large bank is rewarding in terms of her paycheck, but the world itself is draining. All soul sucking corporations and privileged old families and everything that Ava isn’t. She didn’t know what she was expecting, getting a degree in finance, but she knows this isn’t where she wants to be for the rest of her life. 

They’re sitting on the dock that extends over the spring, legs dangling so Ava’s toes just barely brush the water, when Laurel questions Ava on her dating life, or lack thereof. Ava goes on the defensive.

“Come on, you too? Nate and his parents have already grilled me enough. There’s more to life than romance.” 

“There’s more to life than work,” Laurel points out. Which, fair, there is more to life than work. Not that Ava’s current lifestyle reflects that. Lately she seems to be nothing but work. Ava’s phone is a permanent fixture in her hand; her laptop a bedside companion. 

Even though Laurel is correct in her career tunnel vision, Ava isn’t interested in searching out a doomed romance. She’d much rather figure out next steps personally and professionally. 

“I really wish everyone would stop bugging me about it. If one more person asks, I swear I’ll scream.”

Laurel isn’t willing to let this go. Being caught in her happiness means she wants Ava to have some as well. She’s not blinded by her own love bubble, just… influenced. Laurel’s newfound coupledom fills her with joy; she wants her best friend to experience the same pleasure in her life.

And even if it isn’t going to come from a relationship, there’s no denying Ava looks tense. 

“You don’t have to date. You could just sleep with someone.”

“You know that’s not my style.”

At least, it isn’t the style Ava prefers. Since the merger started, Ava’s found herself at a bar once or twice in search of quick relief. It isn’t a habit she’d like to maintain, least of all surrounded by old family friends.

Somewhere in the woods nearby, Ava hears the cawing of two birds and the fluttering of their wings. She wishes she could fly away from this conversation. 

“There’s options though!” Laurel goes on. “What about that new girl, Astra? She’s plenty pretty once you get past her bad attitude. Or Zari, you’ve always thought she’s cute.”

“Laurel, seriously, quit.” 

The newfound fascination everyone seems to have with Ava’s love life is already getting old. She really isn’t that lonely nor is she so desperate.

“Come on. How long has it been?”

Ava sends a glare to Laurel, one she immediately ignores. Being friends for this long means Ava’s scowl does little to sway Laurel.

“I just want to have a good summer. Get back to my roots.” 

Ava isn’t lying in her statement. It’s important to take time away from the city and think about something other than spreadsheets. Reconnect with the people who are important to her, but whom she regularly only sees for a quick weekend or if someone gets married.

“Remind yourself of who you are when you aren’t in a pantsuit?” Laurel contributes, unhelpfully. 

Ava answers by scooting off the dock and submerging herself under the water.

It’s exactly one week after Ava’s arrival when Sara comes up with the plan. Overall, the week is calm. Sara goes on three kayak excursions, finds a perfect space to hang her hammock, and relaxes back into her friendships. 

Sara, Charlie, and Behrad are practically joined at the hip, while some new additions find their way in as well. Sara watches as Charlie flirts with Astra and plans to talk to Charlie if they don’t make a move soon. Nate and Behrad are immediately welcoming of Nora’s boyfriend, so Ray becomes a permanent figure in Sara’s orbit. 

The week comes to turn on the following Friday night. Sara blames several things at once for what is bound to be a terrible idea.

First, is the arrival of Rip Hunter. Notorious in their friend group for his cowardice, his ego, and his self-centered worldview, Sara wasn’t expecting him to show at all during the summer. He’ll only be there for four days, but any appearance is enough to make Sara frown. Of course, Rip manages to make his arrival worse with his actions.

Not two hours after pulling up in his busted pickup truck, Rip asks Sara if she wants to have a _good night_ , a request partnered with an all-too-clear brow raise. She slaps him in response. Shortly after, she overhears Rip talking to Ray and Behrad about the possibility of approaching Ava, and it makes Sara’s stomach turn. Rip always did have a thing for Ava, regardless of the many times she’s turned him down.

The second occurrence which pushes Sara to her horrible plan is stumbling upon her father on the phone with someone. A friend, Sara assumes, and a close one at that, because Quentin is saying nothing would make him happier than knowing both of his daughters have found happiness in a partner. It pulls on her heartstrings to know her dad really thinks Sara is doomed to be alone. 

Part of her thinks her father would be less inclined to hope for love if Sara were making bigger strides in her professional life. The rest of her wonders if he sees something worrisome: that maybe Sara isn’t meant for long term love. 

The third thing Sara attributes to her decision is a healthy amount of inebriation. It’s Friday evening, Charlie and Astra made punch, and Sara is having a brilliant time. The people Sara has come to think of as the adults - Nate’s parents, her own dad, and a handful of his friends - have retired to the cabins for the night. 

Sara’s talking to Zari about how she remembers Zari being such a tomboy rather than the elegant influencer she presents as now when she sees Rip make a move towards Ava and the group she’s standing with. She knows Ava will pull a face the second Rip interrupts the conversation. She also knows if Rip actually asks Ava into his bed, she might spend the next three days locked in her cabin until he departs. Rip isn’t about to upset the vibe of the summer. Not on Sara’s watch.

Why Sara’s brain jumps to the next (illogical) conclusion, she can’t say, but before Sara realizes it, she’s half-jogging to Ava across the fire. She cuts between Ava and Nora, places a strategic hand on the back of Ava’s neck, and pulls her into a kiss.

Ava pulls back just a second later, and the bewilderment on her face could probably be seen from the moon. Out of the corner of her eye, Sara notices Rip hesitate, and it gives her all the confidence she needs to think this was a brilliant plan. Ignoring how she didn’t even plan it at all, that is.

Sara hears a cascade of protests around her, _what the hell_ s and _wait, what_ s, but she ignores them in favor of grabbing Ava by the wrist and pulling her behind the nearest cabin so they’re out of group earshot. 

“What the hell was that, Sara?” Ava hisses, both annoyance and confusion plain to hear. 

“I was saving you from Rip. He was on his way over to ask for a hook up.” 

Ava crosses her arms. Figures Rip would come over and pull a stunt. But Sara just pulled a stunt of her own. “And, logically, you kissed me?”

“Better me than Rip, right?” 

“I don’t want to kiss either of you, thank you very much.”

Sara peeks her head back around the side of the cabin to see a dejected Rip. Even if the kiss were the wrong tactic, Sara can’t imagine he’ll be bothering Ava if he thinks she’s taken. In fact, Sara can’t imagine anyone bothering Ava if they think she’s in a relationship. The pieces suddenly snap into place.

“I just got the best idea.” 

Sara’s elated voice does nothing to calm Ava’s already racing heart from the past minute’s events. There’s a dangerous gleam to Sara’s eyes, one Ava’s seen before one too many pranks and dangerous decisions. “No.” 

“You don’t even know what it is yet!”

“Whatever it is, no.” Ava remains firm in her words as Sara is overcome with excitement. She starts rocking back and forth on her heels, her smile broadening with each second. 

“Just hear me out. Everyone’s been up your ass about your dating life, right?” Ava nods reluctantly, and Sara continues, “And Laurel and Dad won’t leave me alone for the same reason. I bet they’d get off our backs if they thought we had girlfriends.”

Ava can infer what Sara is hinting at immediately. “No. No way. I _know_ you aren’t suggesting we date to get our families to stop being annoying.”

It’s just Ava’s style to shut down Sara’s plan without so much as considering the benefits. Sara’s hands start moving of their own accord as she details her ideas.

“I’m not suggesting we date. I’m suggesting we _fake date_. Just for the summer. Think about it. No one will try to set us up with anyone if they think we’re together. We can enjoy the next five weeks, break up at the end of it. No harm done! This is a great idea.”

“I can think of a hundred reasons this is a horrible idea.”

“Like what?”

“We barely tolerate each other?” Ava offers, and Sara shakes her head.

“That’s not true.” 

It’s not true. The lack of tolerance passed as soon as Sara hit high school. Two years behind Laurel and Ava, once Sara was a freshman, she became bearable. Sure, she was always playing into her role of pain in the ass, and maybe there’s some generalized annoyance on account of who Sara is as a person, but there’s no animosity between them, least of all after all this time has passed. 

“No one would actually believe I’d date someone as aggravating at you.” 

Sara’s face twists into one of exasperation and offense. Her hand flies to her chest, and the dramatic action only proves Ava’s point. “First of all, ouch, but second of all, I can be very convincing.”

“Prove it.”

A challenge is something easy for Sara to match. She extends a hand up to Ava’s face, tucking her hair behind her ear before leaning in and whispering, in her most sultry voice, “Roses are red, violets are blue, the sun is hot, and so are you.” 

The way Ava shoves Sara is totally worth it for the look on Ava’s face. It’s equal parts infuriated and entertained, with a rosy highlight Sara can see even in the dim light. 

“I hate you so much right now,” Ava says, shaking her head. “You almost had me on board for a second there.” Ava makes a turn back towards the fire, aiming to rejoin the group, but she’s stopped by Sara’s hand on her wrist.

“Come on, Aves, think about it. This could be the best thing to happen to us all summer.”

Ava shakes her head one last time before pulling her wrist loose. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back friends! Although this fic is already planned out, I absolutely cannot and will not promise a regular posting schedule. Whenever the next chapter is ready (between holiday stress and finals season), it'll be up! Can't wait to go on another Avalance adventure and hear y'alls thoughts about it!!!💖💖💖


	2. if it were the real me and you (this wouldn't be the right thing to do)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy December to y'all (and happy pre-finals week to me)! good wishes will be graciously accepted as I tackle my upcoming eight exams. Now onto the show...
> 
> chapter title from Nirvana by Sam Smith

Early the following morning, Ava sits on the front porch of her cabin, a cup of tea in hand. The campground is surprisingly quiet. There’s the sound of skittering bugs and small creatures in the surrounding woods, but no sign of human life this early in the morning. Ava enjoys this time of day the best, when it’s just her and her thoughts.

Currently, her thoughts are occupied by one hairbrained scheme. One she normally wouldn’t even give mind to, but that she is, because on her way back to her cabin the night before, Rip approached Ava. He started the conversation by saying he wouldn’t normally give up on Ava. Since she seemed to be with Sara though, he’d be respectful. There were all sorts of things wrong with the statement, from the possession aspect to the way Rip _knows_ she’s a lesbian to how he ignored years of rejection from Ava herself. Given all this, she didn’t bother to correct Rip on her singledom, settled instead for turning in for the night.

With last night’s events, Ava is half considering the prospects of fake dating someone she’s known for eighteen years. If only to get the entire campground off her case. 

She knows it's illogical. Sara has never been one known for her tact, and this plan borders on truly unhinged. Yet something about the thought of having no more pressure from her family, no more intense questioning, is enticing. In theory.

The door slams at the cabin to Ava’s left, and she turns her head to see Laurel, an indescribable expression on her face. She raises her eyebrows pointedly at Ava.

Ava already knows the conversation about to happen. Laurel was at the fire the night before, but Ava managed to escape the group minutes after Sara’s kiss and seek shelter in her own cabin. It’s of no surprise to her that Laurel wants to address what happened. If Ava’s being honest, she’s amazed Laurel didn’t stalk her home and insist on an explanation last night.

“So-”

“It was all Sara,” Ava makes clear, before Laurel gets the chance to even suggest anything more. Given Sara’s public display of affection, Laurel takes it upon herself to confirm. 

“You’re not with her then?”

It’s not shock in Laurel’s voice, more curiosity. Interest. Ava would have expected more surprise to be evident than Laurel is currently expressing.

Ava’s mouth hangs open as she gapes, “You seriously need to ask?”

Laurel, who was previously outside her own cabin, makes her way to Ava’s front porch. She sits on the bench next to Ava and throws her hands up in surrender. “You did kiss her.” 

It’s a fair enough point, but Ava is quick to refute. 

“ _She_ kissed _me_.” The distinction is as important as any Ava has ever made. She runs over the circumstances - Rip, his impending proposition, and Sara’s kiss as a so-called solution. 

Laurel shakes her head in response. The action on Sara’s part is as expected as it is shocking. 

“Good,” Laurel says, in a way Ava can’t quite put her finger on. She doesn’t sound relieved. Nor upset. It’s disconcerting for Ava to not identify Laurel’s tone. _Why isn’t she having a bigger reaction?_

Laurel only offers up a small explanation. “Because if my best friend were dating my sister, I better not be the last to know.” It doesn’t clarify things at all. 

If Friday’s occurrences are what drive Sara to jump on the fake dating train, the final straw for Ava is Saturday afternoon. She’s relaxing by the springhead with Aunt Dot, the two of them laying back on towels on the damp grass. It’s meant to be a tranquil afternoon between aunt and niece. Some time to catch up on books and talk lightly.

It’s not meant to be stressful. And then-

“My friend Lacey’s daughter just broke up with her long term boyfriend.”

_Here we go_. Ava gives a sidelong glance in disapproval. “Good for her,” she deadpans.

“It’s because she’s -” A pause, then, in a whisper, “a lesbian.” Ava looks over, clearly displeased. This conversation is going in a direction she doesn’t want nor need. “The darling has just now figured it out.”

Ava offers a neutral response - congratulations on her coming out, well wishes - general responses which hopefully won’t inspire romantic offers. Offers like: “I think she would be the most incredible person for you. I’ve met her before, she’s whip smart. I’m giving Lacey your number to pass on.”

“Please don’t.” 

“Darling-”

“Aunt Dot, please. I do not need to be set up with anyone.” Ava’s voice raises just slightly to show her seriousness. 

“We’re worried about you.” 

Ava knows it’s well-intentioned. But her well-intentioned family is getting on her nerves. And then Dot gives the final kicker.

“Your parents would be worried about you.”

Her parents are so seldom brought up, it’s almost jarring. Growing up, Ava wasn’t close with her parents. While they were warm enough, just attentive enough to show Ava she was loved, she never felt she truly belonged with them. It was more of a love of possession. When Ava was brilliant in school, when she was quiet and unassuming, when she was the perfect daughter, she was appreciated. 

But her parents never took it upon themselves to really know the real her. To know the things that made her herself, her hobbies and passions, friends and goals and dreams. It’s a part of why she spent every summer with the Heywoods. 

There was no sense of closeness between parent and child. Ava remembers telling Laurel they knew just enough about her to identify her body on a morgue table. Now they’re almost completely estranged. Ava calls on holidays and birthdays, but beyond that, there’s no connection. 

For Dot to bring up her parents is unnecessary. If her parents had any worries, they could portray them to Ava herself, not to Dot and Hank. And at this point, they have no right to even think about Ava and her romantic endeavors. 

“You don’t get to do that. They’re not here, and they wouldn’t have a say anyway. I’m perfectly happy.”

“They would want you to be happy _with_ someone. Not just working yourself to death. Sweetheart, it’s no way to live.” 

Working herself to death sounds exactly how Ava pictures her parents would want to see her succeed, given what they taught her in her youth, but she doesn’t say as much. Instead, Ava stands up from her lounging position and crosses her arms. “What will it take to convince you and everyone else that I don’t need your meddling? That I’m seeing someone? Is that what it’ll take?”

A smile grows on Dot’s face into a full beam. “You’re seeing someone?” She sounds elated.

The whole family to think she’s dating is all it takes for their “worries” to disappear. It’s ridiculous. And Ava didn’t even tell them she was actually seeing anyone.

“I didn’t say I was-” 

Dot cuts her off. “Oh, who is it? Someone from work? Someone _here_? Ava, why haven’t you told us? I can’t wait to meet her.”

In perfect timing comes Sara around the corner. She’s walking with Zari, talking emphatically, when she notices Ava standing over Dot. Sara waves at them as they pass, making sure to send a wink Ava’s way. It’s of no surprise to Ava that Sara winks, just as it’s no surprise she fails to execute it properly. Sara’s never been able to wink well, something Ava probably shouldn’t know, but she does. 

Knowing Sara as well as she does is probably the reason Ava is actually contemplating the thought of a fake relationship. It’s the reason she’s about to confirm it to her aunt. 

“I.. It’s,” Ava stutters. She should probably get Sara’s approval if they’re going to do this. Though knowing Sara, there won’t be any indecision. “We’ll tell you soon. It’s new. Can you respect that for now?”

Aunt Dot grins larger than Ava’s ever seen.

What follows is Ava telling Sara she’s in, Sara smirking like the devil himself, and a conversation on ground rules. They’ll tell Laurel the truth of their acting, while the rest of the campground will be under the impression this is something new. They’ll claim they didn’t want to make the reveal until they were sure of themselves, but Sara just couldn’t let Rip ask Ava out, not while she was standing there. Light touches and kisses are acceptable, but they’re not planning on making out in front of everyone

Amidst their discussion on appropriate touches and phoney actions, also comes talks on their relationship with each other. Or, rather, why they would never work as a legitimate couple. Sara calls Ava a bit too high strung, Ava calls Sara immature. Sara claims she needs someone extremely fun, while Ava requires someone who isn’t frustrating in every way.

Dating in the real world, Ava claims, wouldn’t be right for them. It’s the reason this will work out so well. They’ve known each other for so long, know each other’s ticks and habits and how they were in middle school. From Ava’s end, this is pretending to be with her best friend’s little sister. There’s hardly any risk.

Sara isn’t quite as dead set on their incompatibility, but she doesn’t express it. Regardless of if there ever could be a chance of them working out in the real world, it’s not going to happen. They've been friends since the dawn of time. This is purely an arrangement to enjoy the next five weeks of summer without fighting their families to prove their worth as single people.

They split off for the afternoon to get the rumor mill churning. Sara fills in Laurel on the truth, then relays the sham news to the rest of her friends, while Ava takes it upon herself to share with those she’s closest with. 

Nate’s initial response is far from shocking; he berates Ava on how she could have kept this from him. It takes only a few carefully placed fibs to get him calm, but then he really rocks Ava’s world.

“Honestly, I’ve been waiting for this to happen. I’m just upset you didn’t tell me.”

“What do you mean you’ve been waiting for this to happen?” Ava asks.

They’re taking a hike up one of the poorly maintained trails as this conversation occurs, and in Ava’s shock, she misses a root crossing the path. She stumbles forward a few steps, nearly twisting her ankle. Nate coos after her, trying to double check she didn’t injure herself, but Ava’s too caught up on what Nate said. “You were waiting for this to happen?”

“Well, yeah,” Nate starts, like it’s obvious. He reaches out a hand to help Ava regain her balance, but she waves it off. “You and Sara are a great match.”

“We’re nothing alike.”

“You’re more alike than you think. Why are you arguing anyway? You’re dating.”

Ava manages to stop herself from denying his words. The conversation passes into something else, but for the rest of the hike, Ava considers how and why her and Sara aren’t a shock.

Sara is nothing like her. Where Ava sees herself as carefully calculated, organized, and planned to a T, Sara is impulsive, thinks with her gut, and is always in for a fun time. Sure, Sara is smart and courageous, willing to try new things and throws herself headfirst into everything she tries, but she’s also _Sara_. She’s the same person who teased Ava relentlessly for her respect for rules during childhood, who never let Ava forget her embarrassing moments. The same person Ava witnessed dyeing her hair with chunky Kool-Aid highlights and wearing the most fashionable of Bermuda shorts during middle school.

Ava honestly expected more resistance from Nate. She expected to have to come up with an excuse as to how they “fell” for each other, not unquestioned acceptance. Something like what Sara was experiencing across the campground.

“The two of you? You being serious?” Charlie is leaning backwards off the top hammock from the multi-tiered stack they and Sara strung up in the trees. They throw their body backwards to get a view of Sara swaying at the level below. “Miss Pantsuit herself is kicking it with you?”

It’s not that Charlie and Ava are enemies, but they were never the best of friends. Charlie was always the most rambunctious of the summer crowd, and they tended to take pranks a step beyond comfort level. It left Ava endlessly frustrated, and although years of growth have them amicable, Charlie always held a little disdain for her uptight mannerisms.

“She’s not that bad, and you know it.” Sara defends. Even if she wasn’t passing herself off as Ava’s girlfriend, Sara would probably still jump to Ava’s protection. The little things she prodded at when they were younger were never real problems. In truth, Sara liked most of the things she complained about; it was what made Ava herself.

“Right. Forgot you had such a big crush on her.”

“Psh, _please_.” Sara kicks her foot up, tapping Charlie in the lower back through the thin fabric of her hammock. It’s half-hearted though, because Sara did have an enormous crush on Ava. What could she say, she had a thing for powerful women, and Ava always held herself that way. Now she seems even more powerful. A little intimidating, a little more stern and proper, but still the Ava she’s always known. Just with a top financial position at a big bank in an even bigger city.

(Not that Sara currently has a crush on Ava. That ship sailed years ago. It’s just easy for Sara to admire her.)

Charlie earns themself another kick to the backside with their next comment. “I’m surprised she fell for your sorry ass though. Thought she’d think herself too good for you.”

It’s a thought Sara herself had when she was sixteen and getting into trouble, sneaking off into the woods with Behrad to smoke, starting fights with anyone bold enough to challenge her. There was always the thought of Ava and her morals looking down on Sara. Yet, even when she was a mess, Ava never seemed to think less of Sara, and for that she was always thankful. 

Sara brushes off the comment, but she momentarily considers if this fake dating ploy was a bad idea. If everyone in their life thinks Ava is too good for Sara, it might create more problems than it fixes.

As with nearly every evening over the summer, grilling out is a must. This time, the hosts for the evening are Ray and Nora. Ray is manning the grill with Nate, while Hank stands over their shoulders and comments on their technique. Nora is poking at the fire to ensure it doesn’t smolder out before the meal has even begun.

“You ready for this?” Sara asks Ava. They’re walking towards the group for their first full introduction as a couple. The way rumors spread around this campground, Ava is positive the entire population knows about their “relationship”, but it doesn’t make it any less nerve-racking.

Ava feels anything but ready. Her nerves are at an all time high as she considers how they should act. Should they hold hands actively or is that too much? Should Ava act shy, train her gazes away from Sara, or should she play into the role and stare blatantly? Will anyone even believe them? There’s always the chance they’ll be found out immediately. In that case, how will they explain this?

“Ready to lie to my aunt and uncle, your dad, and all of our friends? Sure.” Ava’s answer is fairly unconvincing. 

As they approach the group, Sara slides her hand into Ava’s. Despite their agreement that touching is not only fine, but necessary to keep their cover, Ava winches involuntarily. Sara plants her feet at the motion, looking over at Ava with irritation.

“Maybe try not to flinch every time I touch you?”

Ava agrees, tries to tell herself to stop being weird. While Ava wouldn’t consider herself to be an overly tactile person, this is far from the first time she’s held hands with a friend. She doesn’t know why it feels like uncharted territory.

Anxiety teems within her, and Ava isn’t sure if it’s because of the lying or holding hands or what, but the feeling makes her chest tight and her palms sweaty. She resists the urge to rip her hand out of Sara’s.

By the time they’re at the bonfire, conversation ceases. Whatever topics were being shared before are interrupted by the couple’s arrival. It seems the whole campground is investigating their relationship, looking over their connection and posture, and it only serves to make Ava’s hand clammier. 

Dot is the first to break the silence. “You two sure played it coy.” She smiles widely, as if seeing her darling niece with a girlfriend is the highlight of the decade. Ava’s tempted to roll her eyes at the comment, but only stops herself because this response means Sara’s god-awful plan is working.

“Sara sure managed not to let anything slip,” Quentin comments, his eyes narrowed. Ava feels like she’s being sized up, despite Quentin being nearly a father to her. She’s always felt comfortable in his presence, accepted and as another daughter. It’s in this moment Ava realizes her dating and subsequent breaking up with Sara might impact her relationship with Quentin.

Sara manages to stay cool as a cucumber though, flashing her signature smile and wrapping her arm around Ava’s waist. “What can I say, I don’t kiss and tell.”

From behind the grill, Nate lets out a skeptical _since when,_ and he’s met with a smack to the head by Hank, who chastises him. Behrad is next to get a talking to when he laughs at Nate’s pain.

“It’s all really new,” Ava manages to whisper out. She hopes her apprehension comes across as her usual dislike of attention, rather than discomfort at being with Sara. 

“Well, I couldn’t be happier,” Quentin eventually says. He pulls Sara into half of a hug, kissing her cheek, before pulling back to look at Ava. “Don’t hurt my little girl.”

Sara gives a complaint in response, but Ava nods. Quentin is back to looking at Ava like he always has, just another member of the family. She hopes the rest of the group is as accommodating.

Since Ava and Sara met with the majority of their individual friends throughout the day, no one is really surprised to see them together. The night goes as normal, with veggie dogs and burgers, corn cobs and chicken kebabs. The only thing different than usual is Ava and Sara’s posturing. They sit next to each other on the logs surrounding the fire, thighs pressed together. 

Every so often someone will make a comment about the two of them, and Sara will acknowledge it by running her foot up Ava’s calf or leaning in to whisper something. It’s all for show, but even on the receiving end, Ava can’t help but admit it looks genuine. Sara is good at acting; better than her, that’s for sure. 

Where Sara is all smooth meaneuvers and easy touches, Ava is clumsy bumps and awkward charades. She nearly manages to flip Sara’s plate from her hands twice by moving too quickly. While Sara is able to hold onto her dishware, she doesn’t keep a firm grasp on her water bottle. It’s knocked over by the force of Ava’s jiggling leg.

“If you don’t calm down, they’re going to think I’m holding you hostage,” Sara whispers into Ava’s ear. Although she wears a smile, there’s a hint of venom behind the words.

_I don’t know what’s wrong with me_ is Ava’s rushed response. Her eyes plead with Sara to somehow calm her down.

Sara places her plate out of Ava’s reach and grabs her hands. She cradles them gently before squeezing and running her thumb along the backside. Against her better judgement, Ava finds herself easing into the touch. Despite her earlier reluctance to be in contact with Sara, the intimate way in which Sara handles her anxiety is soothing.

Across the fire, Laurel takes notice of the action.

When it comes time for s’mores, Sara’s performance really takes off. She uses the chivalrous approach, graciously making Ava’s s’mores for her. There’s a point where Ava goes to tell Sara how she prefers them made - barely golden marshmallow with dark chocolate rather than milk - but Sara surprises her by knowing her order. 

It isn’t significant by any means, however Ava is surprised Sara remembers this. Ava only knows that Sara prefers her marshmallows burnt to a crisp because of one particular night years ago where her treat melted right off the skewer and all over Sara’s lap. Sara nearly repeats the action that very night; her insistence on catching a marshmallow on fire and charring it into a black brick with molten lava center backfires, and two separate gelatin blobs land in the fire. 

Ava has to admit the evening is nice. It’s nice to have Aunt Dot and Uncle Hank off her back for once. To not hear any pestering on her singledom is a relief. 

On Sara’s end, it’s equally enjoyable. Her dad neglects to send any worried looks her way. Instead, he pulls her aside at one point in the early evening to tell her she looks radiant, to say coupled life treats her well. Ava always has been the favorite friend of either Sara or Laurel, so Quentin couldn’t be happier to have Sara date her. 

As pleasant as it is, it’s also off-putting. Her dad really thought Sara so lonely, so unfit for love, even a hint of a relationship made him elated. She doesn’t look forward to breaking his heart at the end of the summer when her and Ava inevitably part ways. 

Sara leans into the performance aspect of the evening. She’s sure to be extra adoring to Ava, never letting them come out of contact with each other. She even presses a few quick kisses to her cheeks and jaw. Small fleeting motions which do little more than graze Ava’s skin, but that Sara notices elicit a blush.

It’s a little flattering, even if it is all a front.

After the fire burns down and the night comes to a close, Sara, Ava, and Laurel walk back to their cabins together, Quentin having retired a bit earlier in the night. When they’re out of eyeshot from the rest of their friends, Sara and Ava drop the act. Their hands separate, but they continue to walk side by side. 

The three of them make small conversation, in as gentle an ease as they always have together. As they arrive outside the Lance’s cabin, Laurel breaks expectations and tells Sara she’ll be spending the night at Ava’s. “I need a night with my best friend.”

From her tone, Ava is expecting a chastising, or at least a serious conversation. Sara says goodnight with a jest, something about Laurel not stealing her girl, and Laurel makes her way inside Ava’s cabin, Ava trailing behind.

“So, do you want tea or anything before-” Ava’s host-like offer is interrupted by Laurel.

“You and Sara are just faking it, right?” It comes out as an accusation, and Ava wonders just what she’s getting at.

“Of course we’re just faking it. Isn’t that what Sara told you this afternoon?”

Laurel kicks off her shoes before collapsing belly-first on Ava’s bed. With the pillows obscuring her mouth, she mumbles, “Yes, but that’s not what I saw tonight.”

“What are you talking about?” 

Ava finds her way over to the bed and nudges Laurel over. She rolls to her back and sits up cross-legged, leaving enough room for Ava to lean against the pillows. 

“I know you’re faking, but I saw a lot of blushing out there. I just want to be sure you know what you’re doing.” 

“Laur, it’s an act. Seriously, you don’t actually think I have feelings for your sister, do you?” When Ava looks over at Laurel, she’s expecting an eye roll or another expression which relays how ridiculous Ava’s question is. What she gets instead is a look of doubt.

“I just know this could end badly. People who pretend to be together can develop real feelings.”

“In a Hallmark movie, not in real life,” Ava tries to explain. “This is just so everyone lays off. You heard how Aunt Dot and Uncle Hank were all week, not to mention your dad. Sara and I deserve some peace and quiet instead of interrogations every night.” 

Ava doesn’t even need to mention Laurel’s own pestering. At least she’ll be limited to private pressuring from now on.

Laurel nods in agreement. There’s been no shortage of comments on their single status since the arrival at the campground. She’s not surprised they want to stop the remarks. She’s more surprised at the way they’re going about it. This isn’t exactly Ava’s style.

“Just be careful, okay? You get attached easily.”

Ava furrows her brows. “No I don’t. It takes forever for me to open up to someone.”

Even in elementary school, Ava remembers experiencing difficulty opening up to peers. Sharing personal feelings was, and still is, difficult for her. She’s much more likely to keep at arm's length for years than to slide into comfortable companionship.

“But once you do, you fall headfirst. Remember that girl you dated last year? As soon as you got a little close, you fell for her, and then it broke your heart when she moved a few months later. I don’t want a repeat of that.” The aforementioned breakup required a significant amount of time spent on the phone consoling Ava, something Laurel is loath to repeat.

“You really don’t need to worry about it. I’m not falling for Sara. A little fake hand holding and cheek kissing won’t change that. I’m immune to her charm.”

No matter what Laurel implies, Ava isn’t going to get attached to Sara. She couldn’t possibly get more attached when her and Sara were once as close as they were. That doesn’t just dissolve into thin air. 

The only thing their arrangement changes is how they interact in public. Slightly softer in appearance and more affectionate. Any resulting changes in feelings are simply the result of them both having grown. Of them being adults with individual lives. Of no longer being fifteen and seventeen and naïve and antagonistic. 

This fake relationship thing is something Ava can absolutely handle. At the end of the day, it’s just a way to pass the summer without expending energy defending her singledom. It’s five weeks. 

Reticent as Ava is to admit, Laurel does have a point when she says Ava falls quickly after getting close. It’s rare she opens her heart - for most she keeps an air of professionalism and ice - so once someone has her trust, it’s easy to fall into the next step. Luckily, that’s not going to happen here. Sara’s dumb jokes and confidence which borders on cockiness make certain of that.

Spending time together will simply be nice. Even with hand holding and sitting closer than strictly necessary, nothing is going to happen between Sara and Ava. Ava is sure of it. The campground setting may make this “casual dating” thing exacerbated - there’s truly nothing to do but spend time around each other - but it is a completely casual, mutually beneficial arrangement. 

Laurel casts a dubious look. This time, there’s no doubt about the meaning. It says three things all at one: _I doubt it_ , _be careful,_ and _this is going to end terribly_. 

The first thing Ava notices when she wakes is the blanket is entirely off her body; it’s burritoed around Laurel like a cocoon. The second thing she notices is a rapping from the door, incessant. 

Ava rolls out of the bed, rubbing sleep from her eyes. She hears Laurel groan at the movement. 

“Good morning, Scrooge,” Sara greets the second Ava pulls open the door. She’s holding three mugs haphazardly, and Ava grabs one before it threatens to crash on the floor. “I’m really glad you have multiple sets of those pajamas or that joke would’ve fallen a little flat.”

“Go away, Sare,” Laurel calls from the bed, her voice scratchy from sleep. 

“Oh, but if I go away, I’m taking your coffee and claiming it as my own.” 

Laurel extends a hand from under the blanket. When Sara passes her a steaming mug, she finally sits up and opens her eyes. 

Sara takes up residence on the bed, so Ava clears off the small kitchen table and finds her own spot. She takes a sip of the coffee Sara brought - it’s delicious. It’s the perfect mix of warm and robust, topped off with whipped cream and cinnamon. Truly gourmet treatment for a cabin coffee maker. 

“So as much as I appreciate the coffee,” Ava says between sips, “why are you here?”

Sara explains she started off her morning running with Nate, when he asked why she wasn’t working out with Ava, considering running is one of Ava’s favorite activities. He then questioned why Sara wasn’t spending the night with Ava, given the situation. Sara managed some excuse, something about chivalry and taking it slow and being casual, but he did make good points. Sara and Ava probably needed to increase their time spent together to pull this off. 

“So I brought you coffee and came to ask about spending the day together,” Sara concludes, before gulping some of her own drink. 

“I need to work today,” Ava complains. 

“It’s Sunday.”

“And tomorrow I have two conference calls with big clients, so I need to use today for prep.”

By this point, Laurel has managed to swing her legs off of the bed. She grabs the ponytail holder off the side table and schools her hair back before coming to a stand. “Well, I have a date to go diving with Ray this afternoon, so I’m going to get ready. You kids enjoy yourself.”

Sara kicks at Laurel’s thighs as she passes, and Laurel swats her hand at her sister in response. Ava can’t be sure, but she swears she hears Laurel hiss _cut it out_. There’s a chance it’s just Ava’s memory filling in the detail from one to many reprimands in the past. 

After the door closes, Sara asks, “Do you mind if I stick around today? I’m working on a new training program for when I get back to the gym and need to start designing the workouts.”

Ava shrugs. “If you promise not to annoy me.” 

Ava thinks Sara’s smile looks a hint more mischievous than it should for someone committed to a day of quiet work. Fortunately for Ava, Sara seems intent on proving her wrong. For hours, the duo manage to work in content silence. Ava works through her spreadsheets and talking points for her upcoming meetings, while Sara types away in a new program design.

It’s easy for them to sit in this comfortable quiet together. Interspersed in the tranquility are moments of irritation. Sara jiggles her legs non-stop. Ava clears her throat more often than necessary. They throw small pieces of paper at each other, kick under the table, every so often flip their laptops around to show each other something interesting. It’s an above average workday spent with fine company.

With the shared power of Ava’s WIFI hotspot, they complete a significant amount of work with little distraction. It isn’t until Sara decides she needs to try some of her circuits to be sure they’re accessible for clients that Ava loses focus. In Ava’s defense, it’s pretty difficult to concentrate when Sara Lance is on your floor doing v-ups and triceps pushups. It would take immense power of will for her eyes _not_ to slide over to Sara’s back. 

(Just to clarify, Ava is not looking because it’s Sara. She’s looking because someone is working out on her floor when she’s trying to overlook budget reports. _Not_ because it’s Sara.) 

Ava’s stared for a moment too long when she snaps herself out of it and heads to the kitchen to pour some water from the sink. This cabin in the middle of the woods situation, although upgraded, doesn’t lend itself well to cold water; the mini-fridge doesn’t have a freezer compartment, and thus, no ice. Still, Ava hopes the water will cool her down. She seriously doesn’t need to be lusting after her friend right now.

(Which she’s _not_ , to be clear. Just… distracted.)

Sara’s always been the most athletic minded of them all, but the mid-cabin workout has more of a thirsting effect on Ava than she ever wanted to experience. Ava banishes the thoughts with an extra large gulp.

As she goes through the moves, Sara is only partially aware of the effect she’s having on Ava. In truth, she didn’t plan this or have any ulterior motive; she simply needed to check the order of her circuit for optimization. Only after Ava pours herself water does Sara consider if her behaviors were appropriate. 

Then again, Sara isn’t often the kind of person to care about doing something stupid hot in front of a pretty girl. Even if that girl is Ava. Even if they’re pretending to date.

(But, to reiterate, Sara is _not_ doing this on purpose. She’s _not_ looking for the attention from Ava. Just doing her circuit. 

In the middle of the cabin.

With Ava watching.

_Not_ on purpose.)

Sara dusts off her hands on her thighs when she stands and shoots a pointed look to Ava. “Everything okay there?”

Ava nods as she takes the next sip, and the jerky motion causes some of the water to get caught in her throat. The water sputters from Ava’s lips, and she leans over the sink as she coughs. Before Ava even comprehends movement, Sara is at her side and rubbing soothing circles into her upper back. Finally, Ava recovers her breathing.

“So, no more working out in front of you, huh?” Sara jokes cheekily. She wins herself a gentle push to the shoulder in response. 

They end up putting a hold on work, deciding they best get some outdoor time in for the day. Sara guides Ava towards the stacked hammock setup she and Charlie made overlooking the spring. It’s not at the head where the pier is, but further down the runoff. It takes a few minutes of walking to arrive at the spot, but when they do, it’s empty.

Ava and Sara lay at opposite ends of the bottom hammock, feet by the other’s head. The world rocks beneath them as the sling adjusts to their weight. 

“So, new programming?” Ava starts, giving Sara an opening to talk about her work. Ava knows Sara works both as a trainer at a gym in Central City and as a bartender, but the rest of her life is mostly a mystery. 

Sara nods, causing the hammock to sway more. She reveals to Ava more about her job. She started at Central City University to give her parents some sort of appeasement, but knew it was never really for her. After accomplishing her associate’s degree, Sara decided not to continue with her studies. By this point, she’d already made her mark on a local gym as a group fitness trainer. She decided to pursue her personal training certification as well, and when she did, she was hired on full time.

Now she has a slew of dedicated clients, but Sara craves more. “I think I’d like to own my own gym one day, but I don’t really know how to make that happen.” 

Ava smiles sweetly from her end of the hammock.

“What’s that look for?” Sara asks, her head tilting with the question.

“Gym owner Sara Lance, it has a ring to it. I believe in you. I know you’ll figure it out.”

Sara smiles like Ava just hung the moon. The praise means more than Ava knows. 

“What about you then? How’s big finance?” Sara wiggles her feet above Ava’s shoulder, and Ava grimaces. 

“Get those out of my face.” Ava barks out a laugh as she gives the command, before her face falls to one more solemn. “Work is… terrible. I hate it.” 

Sara tries to sit up in shock, but the slippery material of the hammock has her sliding back down towards the center. 

“Is it the city?”

Ava shakes her head. It’s not Chicago, per say. It’s not her favorite place by far, but it’s not the worst. What makes it bad are the people she surrounds herself with. Banking is slowly killing her spirit. Ava spends upwards of ten hours a day tossing around money for the entitled, and while it grants her a beautiful apartment and a sizable paycheck, there’s no reward.

She tells Sara this. 

“It’s so draining to dedicate all my time to these people who don’t even deserve to have piles of money. And I have almost no time to myself. I don’t usually leave the office until after seven.”

“Not a great work-life balance then?”

“Oh no, we don’t have that. It’s work-life _integration_.” 

Sara scoffs at the phrase. “God, no wonder you aren’t dating.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ava’s voice rises in pitch, not sure whether or not to be offended by the comment. 

“It explains why you don’t have a girlfriend. How could you spend time on anyone when you don’t even have time for yourself? You’re a real catch; it’s your situation keeping you single. Not that it matters.”

From across the hammock, Sara sees Ava turn a deep shade of pink. Sara truly goes above and beyond with her posturing. 

“You don’t have to put on a show and call me a catch. There’s no one else around.” 

“No showmanship here. I’m serious, Sharpe, you’re a catch. Any girl would be lucky to have you. Chicago doesn’t know what they’re missing.”

The way Sara is looking at Ava is enough to make her feel soft. She doesn’t quite know what to make of the expression, so they sit with prolonged eye contact.

Eventually, Sara clears her throat. “Anyway, you should just quit your job. Invest that sweet paycheck in a new Central City gym.”

“You wish.”

Sara would never admit it, but maybe she does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so so much for all of the love after last chapter! I love hearing thoughts from y'all and can't wait to continue sharing this fic with you! My guess is this won't be too long, maybe 5-7 chapters depending on how I pace. Until next time❤️❤️❤️


	3. sweet tea in the summer, cross your heart won’t tell no other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the well wishes after last chapter! semester 2/5 is completed towards my degree and now I have a few weeks to rest and write before we begin again!
> 
> chapter title from seven by Taylor Swift (this is the alternate title to this whole fic tbh!) Taylor has really blessed us with a lot of lyrics this year, but I stand my ground that seven is the gayest song from folklore

As it turns out, dating - correction: pretending to date - Sara Lance is far from the worst thing in the world. In fact, it’s sort of amazing. 

The first week is blissful in friendship privately and in appearance of more publicly. It’s a quick fall into spending a significant amount of time together. Morning runs are completed in the most competitive way possible, afternoon trails hiked under thick coats of bug spray, evening cookouts eaten surrounded by family, and midnight laughs shared in a state of euphoria. Their friend groups become immersed into each other, and soon, most days are spent surrounded by a throng of chatty people.

With all the newness to their relationship, subtle touches and purposefully unsubtle glances, blatant flirting for the benefit of the show, there’s also the nostalgia of it all. Being back here is sticky sweet with memories of the past. Times when Ava was younger and lighter and didn’t have a care in the world. 

During this first week, it doesn’t feel like Ava’s twenty-six and stuck in a job she’s worked her way up to without passion. Where it doesn’t feel like she’s somehow driven her way into a corner. It’s not like that here. This summer she feels ten years younger. 

Jumping off the dock with Nate in a challenge of who can stay under the water the longest, sharing in discussions of books with Nora, sneaking off with Laurel into the woods to split a beer like they’re sixteen and Quentin is going to catch them breaking the rules - it’s all so _nice_. It’s a nice change of pace. A nice way to spend the summer. A nice way to remind Ava of just how much she really isn’t taking time for herself. 

Outside of all of the time spent reconnecting with nature (and herself), is the time Ava spends with Sara. They aren’t strangers to spending time together. It’s just that it all looks a bit different now. 

Before, it was Ava going to the Lance’s cabin for a sleepover with Laurel and Sara refusing to keep to her bed. It was Sara desperate to be in on her sister’s secrets. Then it was Sara begging Laurel and Ava to keep Quentin off her back while she snuck off with Behrad and Charlie or the crush of the week. Now, it’s spending time with Ava to appear together, but, also, for the joy of being with Ava. 

They find themselves falling back in on friendship. It’s no longer focused on what used to be though - what Ava thought of Sara as a moody teenager or what Sara thought of Ava as a kid with open eyes and a hint of admiration. It’s the easy kind of connection one stumbles into when they just click with someone. When they want to be around someone for hours on end, even after spending the entirety of yesterday in their presence. 

There’s time spent in laughter, the kind of big belly laughs that leave Sara and Ava both with tears in their eyes, and once they finally get their breath under control, the slightest hint of eye contact sets them off again. There’s late night talks laying out on the picnic table between their cabins where they talk about their experiences over the past years: triumphs and traumas, achievements and losses. Explorations into who they are now compared with who they used to think they were when they felt oh-so-grown-up. 

As natural as being best friends with Laurel is, is becoming close with Sara. Ava lets down her walls more in one week than she has in the past five years. 

And Sara does the same. Sara’s never been one for lack of friends. Social butterfly was aptly her identifier at all points in time. Daring and sociable. But Sara isn’t known for her ability to be open and vulnerable with people, no matter the number of friends she’s close to. 

Laurel knows Sara inside and out, a product of being an older sister who was always nosey as to what her younger counterpart was up to. Outside of Laurel, it’s only glimpses of vulnerability most people get. A little side of truth here, an insecurity masked as a wisecrack there. And while Sara trusts most everyone who is a permanent fixture in Starling Campground this summer, she doesn’t open up to all of them. She does, however, start to open up to Ava.

Ava’s known Sara for so long, Sara finds she doesn’t have to wear the exterior she so often paints on. The always-in-control, cool-all-the-time persona that has Sara appearing confident. It’s not necessary here. Not necessary when Ava can bring up the time Sara broke her wrist on a dare to climb up a too-scraggly tree. Not necessary when everyone on this damn campground remembers the stuffed shark she slept with until she graduated from high school.

Just as Ava perceives it, to Sara, this thing is _natural_. (The thing being friendship, and the natural part being how easily they can spend time together without getting sick of each other.) The fake relationship part is a little less natural - they’re still slightly stilted in their motions, stiff and awkward and attempting not to look like D-list actors. It’s in the moments where other people aren’t around to observe their showmanship this thing actually appears right. 

One such time where Sara sheds some of her shell comes during a garden-variety afternoon. They’re relaxing in the springhead, laying atop tubes in water so icy cold it makes Ava’s teeth chatter a little. They’ve been here for a while, just treading in the water while small fish avoid the ripples from their kicks, when Sara says, “So, dish. How’s your dating life actually been?”

Ava looks over, slightly disgruntled. 

“Don’t give me that look.” 

It’s hard for Ava not to give that look. The whole reason they’re doing this thing is so Ava doesn’t have to defend her singledom. And Sara already knows work keeps Ava in the office long past sundown. There’s not much more to it than that.

“Not much to tell. I’m married to my laptop,” Ava replies.

Sara, who has been laying back on top of her tube with feet hovering above the water, slips down into the center to kick her way closer to Ava. “I don’t mean _now_. I mean historically. I’m looking for the dirty details.”

Beneath Ava’s body, her float tilts. Sara has an arm slung over Ava’s tube to keep them tethered together. If Ava turns her head to the right, she’ll be mere centimeters from Sara’s face. _So much for personal space_.

“You’re annoying.” 

Sara tugs at Ava’s arm. “Come _on_.”

Ava groans in response. “You’re such a pain. What do you want to know?” She turns to see Sara grinning like she just won an argument Ava didn’t even know they were having. 

“Everything.”

Ava really opened a can of worms with that one. She tells a brief overview of her dating history, some of which Sara already knows. A secret high school romance which ended upon graduation, a romance consisting of a girlfriend who Ava kissed under the bleachers during school-sanctioned physical education classes and who Ava didn’t take to prom because dates were required to be of the opposite gender, one serious college girlfriend that was long distance for three years on account of Ava transferring to a bigger school halfway through her degree, and a handful of short-term relationships where Ava opened up too fast or where she was too dedicated to work or where her prospective partner didn’t want to commit to the same level.

Sara listens intensely, twisting beneath the water as Ava tells her tale. Then she asks, “So you’ve been in love then?” 

“Why am I the only one answering questions here? Have _you_?” 

At the role reversal, Sara flushes. She tries to brush it off with a few stumbles, with a _you know me_ , a sarcastic _I’m always in love_. Ava doesn’t buy any of it. She rolls off of her inner tube and into the water so she can better interrogate Sara. 

“It’s no sign of a healthy relationship to lie to your girlfriend.” Ava puts on her best argumentative face, something that makes her seem like she could be a lawyer in another life. Or a government official. 

It’s not like much is a secret from Ava; Sara knows Ava is privy to most of the information Laurel learns. While not a gossip, Laurel is certainly a sharer, and who better to share with than someone who knows Sara intimately. Ava is aware of most of Sara’s early dating history: crushes on friends who graced Starling Campground in summer, short flings with football players and low-grade delinquents in high school, her first girlfriend, Nyssa. Nyssa, who Sara dated during a year of foreign exchange. Nyssa, who had to return home at the end of spring semester.

Nyssa was the first relationship Sara ever mourned. She was one of the few people Sara ever opened up to emotionally, one of the few who ever managed to see her truly vulnerable. There were other people after - the friends-with-benefits situation with John Constantine, one night stands, half-guarded relationships - but most of these were momentary situations. Here today and gone tomorrow. 

Laurel’s heard it all. And Sara assumes Ava has too by default.

“You already know all of this,” Sara says, averting her eyes. “You were there the summer after Nyssa. I mean, I was a kid, and I was young, but…” She trails off.

“Sure felt like love, didn’t it?”

Sara nods. 

“Anyone since?”

Sara gives a look, one which says Ava already knows the answer. 

“Not that you need to hear it from me, but Laurel’s worried about you. Apparently you think you’re damaged goods.” Sara rolls her eyes, a _psh, please_ rolling off her tongue. Ava continues, “Trust me, I know. Laurel needs to mind her own.”

There’s a glimmer in Sara’s eyes as Ava says this. A hint of a smile appears. She loves her sister. She really does. But Sara has to admit it’s comforting to see Laurel has been just as invasive in Ava’s life. 

“Laurel can butt out. I’m not damaged.” And she’s not. Sara’s finding her way. She has goals and plans, and if everyone would just take a break from all the uninvited rumination in her love life, she’d be making strides to achieve those goals.

“You’re not.” Sara raises her eyebrows in question. “You’re not damaged, Sara.” 

Ava says it with certainty. No room for argument.

“Well, neither are you.”

A quiet settles there for a second, one which grows uncomfortable for Sara. She breaks the silence quickly. “But your hair’s about to be.”

“What?”

Before there’s a chance to prepare a defense, Ava’s dry head is being dunked under the water as Sara pushes down on Ava’s shoulders. What follows is a splashing war and stitches in sides from laughing while treading water. 

Unbeknownst to the duo, Laurel, Zari, Nora, and Charlie see the scene from the shore. The group, who’ve just returned from buying groceries in the nearest town, all halt to observe. Sara hoists herself up into an inner tube, before Ava flips it. Sara retaliates by dragging Ava backwards by her feet as she attempts to swim away. 

It’s a cute sight. Ava letting go is a rarity. To be that unbridled by worries and filled only with joy is exactly what they want for their longtime friend. At the same time, Sara is shooting beams from her eyes. Legitimate hearts may as well be floating between the couple. It’s an expression they’ve never really seen on Sara, and she wears it well.

“Who would’ve thought?” Charlie comments, before readjusting the grocery bags on their arms and continuing towards the cabin. 

It takes Laurel a moment longer before she starts moving. She isn’t quite sure what to think.

The first week where they pretend to be a couple is paradoxical. On one hand, it passes in a blink; it starts and ends before there’s a chance to breathe or reflect. Simultaneously, it’s prolonged. Prolonged in the sense Sara and Ava seem to pack years of connection into just seven days. Because of it, of this streamlined path to deep knowledge of who Sara is, Ava’s vision starts to shift. Not all at once - there’s no moment of black and white turning to color - but there’s subtle changes in her point of view.

The first time Ava is genuinely aware of her change in perspective comes week two of fake dating, on a Tuesday. 

It’s another night around the fire. Not everyone is there this evening, some campground inhabitants choosing to have smaller meals and early nights, but the Tarazis are around, as are the entirety of the Heywood and Lance clans. 

Behrad is proving himself to be quite the guy this evening. Well, not the guy, but _that_ guy. He’s strumming a guitar and attempting to sing. The performance legitimately starts with the words, “Anyway, here’s Wonderwall.” Zari is sure to answer with a groan so loud even the fish in the spring probably hear.

Behrad and Nate dick around for a minute or two, strumming world’s douchiest chords while the rest of the crowd rolls their eyes, until Hank finally interrupts with a firm hand on Behrad’s shoulder.

“Let the old pros show you how to do it.” 

Hank swiftly pulls the guitar from Behrad’s grasp and settles next to Quentin. They whisper conspiratorially to decide on what song will stick it to the youngins. 

“Daddy, you really shouldn’t,” Sara starts.

“I’d really rather you didn’t,” Laurel echoes.

“Uncle Hank, please reconsider,” is Ava’s contribution, while Nate just lets out a pitiful protest.

Aunt Dot urges the older men on though, and soon they’re singing a not-so-terrible rendition of “Take Me Home, Country Roads”. Despite their initial reaction of exasperated glances, everyone joins in a little, even if for Sara it means only letting out a grouchy _West Virginia_ during each chorus.

This is something which used to happen frequently when they were younger. In the past it looked more like the parents singing while the kids ran amuck playing tag or grabbing lightning bugs. There’s a little more refinement tonight, but the reminiscence has Laurel and Ava misty eyed.

Sara notices the sentimental expression on both of their faces. “Are you kidding me right now? Saps.” 

The comment wins Sara a gentle smack to the thigh from Laurel, but given that Sara is holding on to Ava’s hand, there’s little room for violence on Ava’s part. Against Sara’s better instincts, she lets herself sway to the gentle strumming of Hank’s guitarwork. Ava moves in tandem, letting the peace of the moment keep them entirely connected. 

It happens naturally from there. Hank’s playing fades out to the background. Ava tilts her head down and her eyes meet Sara’s perfectly in time. The moment is ideal for a kiss, and everyone else seems to think so as well, because from across the fire comes the oohing and awing of the peanut gallery. 

Here lies the problem. Ava doesn’t recognize from an external view this is the perfect moment to kiss Sara. She rather feels it feels it internally, a deep and overwhelming urge to kiss Sara. And oh. _Shit._ Because this is all fake, but this night has been nothing short of a dream come true and Sara is right there and she’s smiling up at Ava and the fire is reflecting in her eyes and she’s glowing with ease and it just feels right, even if rationally Ava knows this feeling is fabricated by a week and a half of false closeness.

Still, Ava gives in to her inhibitions, and her and Sara lean in for a quick peck in the firelight. It leaves a searing sensation against Ava’s lips after, one which makes her worry. Because that didn’t seem as fake as everything else this week. 

Laurel clears her throat from the opposite side of Sara’s body, and Ava stands up swiftly. This isn’t allowed to be real. Ava definitely can’t afford to let herself get carried away with a nice night and an easy kiss. She babbles off an excuse of needing to use the restroom and practically scurries off to the communal bath hall. 

Splashing water on her face, Ava reminds herself this kind of feeling is not allowed to happen. Ava knows this is dangerous. A kiss which means something is far more dangerous than a hundred which mean nothing. She shakes her head in the mirror, little droplets of water scattering across the sink. 

_It was nothing_ Ava tells herself. Nothing but a consequence of a nostalgic evening and a week of reignited friendship and them sitting close on logs around a fire. She can handle this. Ava brushes off the feeling along with the water and returns to the fire. Ava doesn’t make eye contact with Sara or Laurel for the rest of the night.

Sara doesn’t think much of it the first time she notices a change in her mindset towards Ava. She’s not sure there is one distinct moment, in fact. 

This summer already is such a blast from the past - between adult versions of their childhood friend group games and spending so much time with her family, it’s not surprising Sara starts to see Ava in a way she used to. See, even when Sara didn’t have a crush on Ava, she admired her. Admired the way Ava made the most of every situation, never letting herself get pulled down for long before bouncing back. Plus, there was always something endearing about how easy Ava was to fluster.

These things are all still there, so it’s no wonder Sara still appreciates all these traits. It’s just now there’s a lot more physical contact involved. It’s not that Sara doesn’t know the difference between acting and truth, but all of the touching, kissing, and longful stares feel less forced after a bit of time. Maybe because there’s some truth behind it.

The first time Sara has to remind herself of the fraudulence of their relationship comes during an afternoon of Truth or Dare. It happens to be Charlie’s idea; Sara suspects it’s in hopes someone will dare them to be alone with Astra, but far be it for her to point that out. So far, Zari’s been dared to give herself a mud facial with the silt at the bank of the spring, Ray and Nate have been dared to swap clothes with any women of their choosing, and Nora’s had to reveal how she first fell for Ray (a truly mortifying sharing experience for Nora, as she’s not exactly one to talk about romantic feelings). 

Upon finishing her truth, Nora prepares for her turn. “Ava-” 

Nora’s cut off with a groan on Ava’s part. She’s honestly never been one to much love Truth or Dare. Dares were always intimidating or embarrassing or just required more courage than Ava possessed. Truths offered some of the same problems; she’s never had much of a talent for lying so revealing the truth often came even when Ava tried to hide it. 

“Truth or dare?” 

Despite Ava’s penchant for picking truth and just getting over with some confession, this summer is a bad time for it. There’s too much she’s hiding. It’s not that Ava thinks Nora will ask a question which deliberately reveals her and Sara have been lying, but it’s bound to involve Sara, and Ava doesn’t trust herself enough to be convincing. 

“Dare,” Ava capitulates with a sigh. There’s a string of amazed noises from the crowd. A dare pick from Ava was unexpected. 

“Damn, Sharpe, hiding some secrets or something?” Nate shouts at her.

“Cut it out, Nate.” Sara is quick to come to Ava’s defense. For the act. What kind of girlfriend would she be if she let Nate poke fun at Ava. Loud enough for everyone else to hear, Sara encourages, “You’ve got this, babe.”

Nora and Laurel hold up a finger and discuss the upcoming dare, a little too dramatically if you ask Sara. But Sara can tell Ava is getting nervous about the dare. Ava’s fingers start drumming with anticipation and she starts bouncing her left leg. She doesn’t do too well with dares which involve nudity or embarrassing actions or breaking rules or annoying more senior adults or -

“I dare you to jump off the rope swing.” 

Or heights. Ava definitely doesn’t do good with heights. 

Even if Sara wasn’t so attached to Ava, she’d be able to see the change in her demeanor. Ava’s eyes go wide and she sits up a little straighter. As it currently is, with Sara’s hand on Ava’s thigh, she feels the tension coil in Ava immediately. Her entire body goes stiff. 

“Now that’s not right,” Sara protests, shooting a pointed look at Laurel and Nora, both of whom shrug. It’s a dirty dare for them to give; Ava’s been terrified of the rope swing since it got put up.

Oliver Queen and John Diggle hung the rope swing with the help of Quentin when they were fourteen. It’s far from the longest one in the world, but it’s a sizable length, about a twenty-five foot drop from the peak of the arc into the spring. The first summer it was up, there were three close calls of people almost dislocating shoulders or not letting go above the water and swinging back into the trees.

The attraction has been one of the highlights of Starling Campground for years; visitors with kids often cite the rope swing as the best part of their visit. Everyone has a memory on it. Whether it’s Zari losing a bikini top after a cannonball from the top or Sara swinging about fifteen times in a row before she got her first backflip into the water, it’s a summer staple. Most of the group has already used it a number of times since arriving.

Ava’s most distinct memory involving the death trap, however, is being too scared to ever use it. It’s not been for lack of trying. She’s attempted to swing off clinging to someone else’s back, to do it with eyes closed and others directing her when to let go. She’s tried after a few beers and with Uncle Hank promising he’s watching with an ambulance on speed dial, but Ava never quite managed to take the plunge. 

It’s just _tall_ , the water so far below. And frankly, it’s an unnecessary risk. Ava doesn’t need to get her adrenaline from something like this. She gets enough from going five over the speed limit. 

“You don’t _have_ to do it,” Nora declares, in a way which makes it clear Ava does have to do it. “I can come up with a truth if you’re too chicken.” 

Ava rolls her tongue in her cheek. She’s not wildly uncomfortable with this, just mostly. But hey, it’s been a few years since she’s attempted to jump way too far into the water, and she’s certainly not in the mood to subject herself to being called a chicken for the rest of the summer.

“Fine,” Ava grumbles. She glances over at the rope swing, dangling mockingly from a too tall tree off the embankment. To get to the swing involves climbing up haphazardly nailed in wood planks which substitute for a ladder to a less-than-stable platform. The rope drapes from a large and sturdy branch above it. 

She can do this. 

She can do this.

Ava takes three steps towards the embankment before hesitating. Maybe she can’t do this. 

Suddenly Sara is at her side. “Want me to come with?” Sara gives her most genuine and encouraging expression. This is a terrifying thing for Ava. “You know, moral support? And I’ll make sure you don’t die climbing up the “ladder”.” 

“That’s not as comforting as you think it is.”

Sara raises an eyebrow, to which Ava nods.

If Sara were paying attention to anything other than Ava’s blatant fear, she might have noticed the rest of the group sending mocking taunts at the couple. _Joined at the hip_ s and _can’t separate them for even a moment_ s and all of that. It’s done in good fun from most of them, but Sara doesn’t hear any of it, too focused on Ava and how she can help.

By the time they’ve made it up the platform and Ava’s stripped off her tank top, she’s shaking. She peers off the edge of the platform. It really isn’t that far down to the water, and the water is plenty deep. Ava knows she logically has to hold on for just a few seconds to clear the edge, then she can release and pencil straight into the water. No fancy tricks, no crazy or risky moves. Unfortunately, the logical part of her brain isn’t coming to the phone right now. It’s instead been replaced by an alarm blaring all the reasons she shouldn’t do this.

“Hey,” Sara soothes, running a hand down Ava’s arm, “you don’t have to do this if you’re afraid. We can just stick it to Nora.” 

Ava shakes her head. This is a fear she’s had since she was fourteen. She’s plenty old enough to do this. It’s not like she’s going to die; every idiot who is watching has done far dumber tricks at this campground and they’ve all made it out unscathed. 

From the base of the spring, Ava hears words of encouragement. _You’ve got this_ and _come on, Aves_. 

Sara continues with her stroking of Ava’s arm. It’s not done because they’re being watched; it just feels natural. It seems to be helping Ava too, who is only glancing at the rope with slight peril rather than the full on terror which existed there a minute ago. 

“Would it help if I went first?” Sara suggests, but Ava denies the offer. Ava shakes her hands a few times, as if it’ll remove all of the anxiety building up in her. “What would help?” 

Ava stills her hands. “Tell me I can do this.”

“You _can_ do this. I’ve never met anyone braver than you. If you can handle Aunt Dot’s prodding over our relationship, you can definitely handle this.” Ava smiles a little at the mention of Aunt Dot. Dealing with her takes a certain skill set, not even the Marines can take her on at times. “I’ll be right here if you need me.” 

Sara gives Ava’s hand a squeeze, before reaching up for the weathered rope hanging above them. She hands it to Ava, then takes a step back. 

_You’ve got this_ Sara thinks. Right before Ava goes to launch herself into the water, Sara has a thought on how amazing Ava is. Sure, most of this is happening because Ava doesn’t want to look like a coward and the rest of the reason is her friend group is flawed for trying to torture each other, but Ava is also incredible for conquering this when she has over a decade of fear around this one event. And then Ava does it.

It’s not a magical feat of acrobatics - Ava holds on just long enough to make it firmly over the deep part of the spring, then catapults down - but it is an amazing moment. When Ava hits the water, it feels a bit like watershed. Like Ava just unlocked something deep inside Sara. 

She doesn’t spend much time processing though, because a second later Ava’s head is coming back from under the water and all of their friends are cheering, Sara included. A burst of pride erupts inside her own chest. Her Ava just did this. 

The rope finds its way back to Sara, and she spends just a second getting a firm enough grip before hurling herself off the platform with a backflip at the end of her path. She emerges right next to Ava and wraps her in something resembling a hug.

“I’m so proud of you!” 

Ava beams at the praise. Sara thinks her heart might be glowing a little.

“What’s going on with you?”

Sara looks up from her phone to see Laurel perched critically at the end of Sara’s bed.

“Sure, come interrupt me. It’s not like I was busy.”

Sara wasn’t exactly busy, scrolling through socials hardly counts as an occupying activity, least of all when she’s now had almost three weeks of relaxing at the campground, but Laurel is still her sister and in her space. No amount of years, no amount of being grown will make that go away. 

Laurel sits herself in tailor position on the end of the mattress, then just stares. 

“What?” Sara whines. “If you’re going to bother me, better be a reason.”

“I thought you and Ava were faking it.”

Sara tosses her head back with a grumble. “We are faking it.” Sara doesn’t think it’s possible for her to sound more exasperated. 

Apparently she could have annunciated better though, because Laurel asks, “What did you just say?”

“We are faking it.” This time the response is a little aggressive, and in response, Laurel pulls away at the comment. Sara sighs, tossing her phone aside to focus on the conversation at hand. 

“Why are you being weird about this? You already knew we were going to act like a couple to get Dad off my back. Does it seriously bother you that much to see Ava having a fun time when I’m around?”

“You know that’s not it.”

“Then what?”

Laurel runs her hand through her hair, as if deciding whether or not she wants to bring up her full thoughts on the subject. She’s the one who started the conversation though, so Sara definitely doesn’t know what’s up with her.

“Well besides the fact that you’re stealing my best friend from me during our first summer together in years-”

“That’s not true. Ava spends tons of time with you.” Sara has a point there. Laurel ignores it in favor of continuing with her argument.

“It doesn’t look like there’s a lot of acting going on to me.”

This gets Sara’s attention. “What? Is it obvious we’re faking? I mean, I’m not Julliard trained, but I thought we were doing a pretty decent job…”

Laurel shakes her head. “It looks like this is real.”

This is a catalyst for yet another rolled eye on Sara’s part. Here comes Laurel, over-analyzing Sara’s interactions to see if her feelings are real or not. Laurel’s done this in the past with short-term relationships, men and women who managed to meet Laurel or Quentin on occasion. “I’m just good at acting then.”

“Not that good. I remember Peter Pan.”

Sara kicks at Laurel. Peter Pan, otherwise known as the performance-that-shall-not-be-named was a disaster of a fourth grade play resulting in Sara swearing up and down she’d never grace the theatre stage again. 

“This is different.”

It is different. Because it’s Ava . Ava makes things easy for Sara. If she’s being honest, there’s not a ton of faking to their fake relationship. Sure, she probably wouldn't reach out for Ava’s hand or curl up next to her near the fire or kiss her or spend _so_ much one-on-one time with her, but the heart of their friendship is as organic as always. There’s joking and supportive moments, there’s pushing each other to beat run times and spending days with all of their friends and family. There’s no lie to that.

And Sara feels like she just gets Ava at times. Not to pat her own back, but Sara doesn’t know that anyone else would’ve helped Ava actually get off the rope swing. Who cares if there’s the occasional peck when it appears appropriate?

“Yeah, it is different. Different because you like Ava.”

“I’ve always liked Ava. She’s my favorite friend of yours. A whole lot better than Gwen and some of those other stuck up-”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“Would you just come out with it then?” Sara asks, frustration rising and causing her tone to harshen. 

“I know what it looks like when you really care about someone. I don’t know if you’re hiding this on purpose or if you actually don’t see it, but you need to look deep inside yourself and figure out your feelings before someone gets hurt.” 

“I don’t have feelings.”

Laurel actually groans. Her sister is belligerent as always, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t frustrating. She figures she won’t get through to her tonight, but it was worth a try. Laurel’s not going to give up on this - there’s obviously something developing between Sara and Ava, something which needs to be addressed - but she supposes she’ll let it slide for the rest of the evening.

“Whatever. You want dessert?”

As with all places where children spend a lot of time, there’s secret spots. Places where playhouses exist under decrepit hunting stands and fairy circles are rumored to exist, where names are all carved into a tree and where people sneak off to have their first kiss. These little areas exist at summer camps and public parks and middle schools. And at Starling Campground.

Starling’s resident hidden gem is an old tree with a sizable hole in the center. Whether the indent was made by an exuberant woodpecker or a natural occurrence from the splitting of wood, no one ever knew, but this became known as the wishing tree. Rumor had it if you wrote your wish down and put it inside the tree hollow, it would come true. 

To put a wish inside the tree was practically a time-honored tradition. Even when Ava felt herself too old to believe in it, she would write out a secret desire. Just in case. Coming back as an adult, Ava is half tempted to jot something down for old times sake.

Her and Sara encounter the wishing tree at the end of their second week of “dating”. They’re accompanied by Charlie and Astra, having hiked this specific path because Charlie wants to show Astra all of the things they did around here as kids. Charlie plays it off, acts like the tree was something everyone else did that they were too cool to participate in, but Sara thinks Charlie secretly hopes Astra will know they have a soft side.

“Wonder if there’s anything in there now,” Astra bemuses out loud. She makes a move to reach towards the hollow, but she’s stopped by Ava’s hand shooting out.

“We don’t go fishing for other people’s secrets. That’s the rule we made.” Not that everyone doesn’t know what a stickler Ava is for rules, but this is one she’s always been serious about. If the rest of the friends are being honest, everyone obeyed this one particular rule. No one wanted their wish outed to everyone else. Part of the novelty was how no one would ever know their hopes and dreams. The little sheets of lined paper would break down into pulp with the moisture of the summer rain never to be read by prying eyes.

“Don’t seriously think anyone’s putting secrets in there nowadays, do ya?” Charlie asks.

It seems unlikely, but still not worth the risk. If anything else, the hollow is probably occupied by suspicious looking toads or spiders by now, so Astra agrees not to search inside the pocket. 

Charlie and Astra continue on with the hike, Astra pointing out some rocks they once skinned their knees on after they lost their footing, but Sara and Ava hang back at the wishing tree for another moment.

“I remember putting Oliver’s name in here when I was thirteen and crossing my fingers I would have a crush on him.”

Sara snorts. “You could do better than him, even at thirteen.”

Probably true, plus Laurel used to have her eyes on Oliver Queen. Ava was more so hoping to have feelings for any boy the way the rest of their friends did at that time. 

“Who could do better than Oliver though? With those braces, talk about a dream boat.”

The smile which graces Sara’s face is almost wide enough to split it. Somehow in the time spent away from Ava, Sara’d forgotten how much Ava can make her laugh. “Very funny. You’re funny, how did I forget that?”

“I’m not that funny. You’re just an idiot.” 

The way Ava says it, the way she smiles and shakes her head and says _you're an idiot_ makes Sara feel like anything else. It feels like a compliment from Ava. A _you’re someone I’m lucky to know_ , like she’s lucky she’s the person Ava is poking fun at. 

Sara pauses to shake her head, then says, casually, “Now I remember why I had such a huge crush on you in high school.”

“Look who’s being funny now,” Ava laughs out, giving Sara a nudge with her shoulder before turning away from the wishing tree. Ava hesitates for a second. “You didn’t, right?”

“Of course I did,” Sara answers, so nonchalantly Ava is tempted to not even have a reaction. Sara is saying this like it is no big deal, as if it’s obvious to everyone. A bit of disbelief must show on Ava’s face, because Sara elaborates on it. “Oh, come on. You knew.” 

Ava’s mouth parts, whether in shock or in awe, Sara doesn’t know, but before Ava gets the chance to say anything, Charlie’s voice is coming back around the corner.

“Oi, lovebirds. Let’s get moving.” 

Sara slips her hand into Ava’s as they continue their hike, as natural as if it’s always belonged there. She spends the rest of the night wondering what Ava was going to reply.


	4. i only want what's real (to let my heart feel what it feels)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from Three by Sleeping at Last

The plan is working. It’s working marvelously.

Aunt Dot stops pestering Ava about being single. There’s no attempted setups with the lesbian daughters of her friends, no reminders about her biological clock, no annoying questions or incessant prying or anything else. Nate pipes down and shuts his mouth too, as does everyone else.

On Sara’s side, the plan is equally successful. In fact, maybe too successful. Sure, Quentin is no longer looking at Sara with concern in his eyes, but now he shines at the thought of Sara being with a long term partner. It isn’t even long term, it’s a few weeks of summer for God’s sake. But Quentin is now alight with the possibilities to come. 

Even Laurel quiets down. It's mostly due to her inability to goad Ava and Sara in public, but she's quiet nonetheless. 

Overall, the scheme is successful. With one unforeseen side effect. 

During week three of faking it, the truth comes to pass, and Ava has to admit it to herself: she has a problem. The problem? Sara. Well, not Sara exactly. It’s how Ava is starting to feel in Sara’s presence.

In public, Ava manages to hold herself together. There’s watchful eyes of Aunt Dot and Uncle Hank and Quentin to remind her everything about this is fake. Any hand holding, any kissing, any compliments, none of it is genuine. 

When the two of them are in private, however, Ava notices changes in herself. She’s starting to feel some sort of way. And Sara isn’t necessarily helping.

See, there’s something about Sara that most everyone knows: Sara can’t keep her hands still. She’s always been attuned to the kinesthetic side of herself; she learns best through moving and doing, never been one for sitting still in one spot for too long (just ask the unlucky students whose last name meant they sat around Sara during state-mandated standardized testing). It’s most of the reason Sara pursued a career in fitness. She feels most herself when she’s moving.

Her inability to stay in one place often reared its head in the past. Sara never remained still through an entire movie, always fiddling around or jiggling her legs or talking her thoughts out loud. Laurel was never one to complain about Sara’s lack of idle hands; it usually benefited her in the way of a shoulder massage or a good head rub, something which relaxed Laurel to no end. 

At least, it was relaxing, up until the year Sara decided her active fingers needed to do something more dexterous, so she picked up braiding. French braids and inverted plaits, waterfalls and fish tails and super tight hair headbands. Laurel, sweet, patient Laurel who enjoyed having her hair played with, became the test subject. 

Summer couldn’t come soon enough. After six months of hair pulling and feeling like her scalp was terminally bleeding, Laurel was ready to pass the torch onto someone else. Starling Campground gave Sara an almost endless number of canvases to try out new designs on. Zari and Nora and, yes, even Behrad when he was going through an extra shaggy hair period were all regulars in Sara’s hair salon. Ava was the occasional subject as well, but mostly during movie nights with Laurel when Laurel would look over with begging eyes and plead with Ava to take over. 

While Sara gives off the appearance of someone who isn’t very touchy, quite the opposite is true. When she’s around those she trusts, her tactile nature comes out.

Why mention all of this? Well, this summer, Sara’s handisness is in full bloom, and it’s starting to affect Ava.

It comes about like this: Sara makes a comment that she’s sick of spending all her time outside. Yes, she loves nature, and kayaking and hiking and sitting in the hammock, while lovely things, are also things she wants a break from. Sara tells Laurel, who rolls her eyes, because of course Sara is getting sick of the campground after so little time. But Laurel is still wanting to spend the evening outside with the rest of their friends, so Sara bats her eyes at Ava and asks if Ava will _please, please, please_ skip out on the bonfire for one night in exchange for a movie night in Ava’s cabin.

Ava, who does cherish each moment outside and away from the city, has also had it up to here with the mosquito bites and itchy eyes caused by the fire, so she easily agrees to an evening spent inside.

On Sara’s request, they do up the cabin in the way they used to for movie nights. Two thick bedspreads are thrown on the floor at the base of Ava’s bed with pillows used as backrests. 

The TV is one which has been in the cabin forever. Years ago, it was the pinnacle of technology, a television with a built in VCR which let families bring their favorites to the campground or borrow from the piles of VHS tapes left in the cabins. Now it means their movie watching options are limited to what hand-me-downs exist from years ago.

(And yes, it did cross Ava’s mind they could open up her laptop with a hotspot and watch anything on Netflix, but Sara was so enthused at the idea of pulling out an old videotape, Ava didn’t even suggest the alternative.)

They settle on _Twister,_ Sara and Ava both ready for the high stakes adrenaline rush mixed in with the background romance. Ava is in full movie mode. She’s curled up in those pajamas Sara loves to make fun of, pillow hugged in her lap, and hair released from her signature bun to topple down her back. 

It’s not long before Sara grows twitchy, her feet tapping together about twenty minutes into the film. She holds in most of her movements, just letting out comments when they come for the first half of the movie. It’s in the second half of the film when Sara looks over to see Ava wound as tight as could be - jaw clenched, knees to her chest, breathing a little more rapid than it need be - and asks a question she’s asked about a hundred times.

“Can I play with your hair?”

Ava turns with a playful taunt on her tongue, something about how she just _knew_ this was coming, but Sara looks genuine in her question, like it would make her night, so Ava gives in without any verbal hesitation. Plus, if Ava’s being honest with herself, she is a bit on edge. She loves a movie which makes her heart race, but something about this one gets to her. It does always feel a bit heavenly when someone runs their fingers over her scalp, so letting Sara play with her hair is a bit of a two birds one stone situation.

She nods, and within a second, Sara is sitting up on the foot of her bed while Ava remains on the floor. She runs her hands through Ava’s hair, starting off with gentle kneading before she gets a little more methodical. Sara twists and untwists, braids and unbraids Ava’s hair. It distracts her mind up until the scene with a tornado at the drive-in theatre. Ava freezes under her.

“You alright?” Sara stills her fingers and peers around the side of Ava’s shoulder.

This nod is barely convincing. Sara slides back down to be at Ava’s side.

Ava takes a deep breath. “Tornados scare the hell out of me. I can’t imagine being in a situation like that. It’s so unpredictable.” 

Sara can see the tension built up in Ava’s body. Despite being someone who can absolutely handle herself in all walks of life, it doesn’t surprise Sara to know Ava would hate a situation where she is completely out of control. Tornados are Ava’s worst nightmare. 

Without even thinking about it, Sara’s hand slides to the back of Ava’s neck, and she starts playing with the baby hairs at the base of her skull.

“You know, I remember watching this when we were younger. For about two weeks after, I was convinced I’d be a storm chaser. Can you imagine the state of my dad if I chose to do that?”

Ava lets out a small chuckle as the scene ends and the worst of that tornado passes. “I imagine he’d never let you leave the house again.”

Sensing that Ava’s started to relax again, Sara goes to withdraw her hand, but she’s stopped by Ava. 

“You can keep doing that,” Ava says. She adds a qualifier after a beat. “If you want.” 

Sara smiles. There’s no way she’d want anything more.

There’s a readjustment in their position, Ava to lay her head in Sara’s lap, and they continue through the end of the movie with Sara scratching at Ava’s scalp. It isn’t until the credits roll that Ava has a chance to reflect on just how Sara’s presence comforted her. Sara playing with her hair just felt perfect. Sara knew when to ramble aimlessly, when to switch to soothing strokes during the tense climax of the movie. 

For every bit Ava enjoys a film with an adventure sequence and near death experience, it so often ends with fingernails chewed and a high heart rate. But here is Sara, running her fingers and touching Ava and making this experience as relaxing as it is thrilling. It all feels so nice and calming and just... _right_. 

“Another one?” Sara asks, “Or are you about ready for bed?”

Ava is conflicted on her answer. Part of her knows she needs some time to herself. Being with Sara this much has been lovely, but it’s also been confusing. It’s hard for Ava to tell what’s real, what’s inflated by the situation, and what’s just wishful thinking. The rest of Ava wants to keep living in the bliss of the moment. 

Ava must be a glutton for punishment, because she answers with, “I’d love another one.” 

The next film comes with a transition to lay on Ava’s bed, Sara curling up to Ava. Sara starts to nod off about halfway through, but she stays fighting on the very edge of consciousness. In her half-dream state, Sara starts weaving her own fingers between Ava’s, interlacing their fingers and tracing the lines of Ava’s palms. She’s hardly cognizant of the motion, but Ava is on full alert.

Ava is nothing but aware of her own emotions at all points in time, and she knows herself too well to mistake this for anything but the truth. The truth is: Ava has feelings for Sara. She's been trying to ignore it since the night of singing by the fire, but her chest grows tight with longing every time she looks down at Sara, her skin burns after Sara touches her, and Ava keeps finding herself daydreaming about if things were different. 

It might not have started at the beginning of this arrangement, but it’s certainly been building in every interaction they’ve shared over the past few weeks. It’s probably amplified by their history, but all the one-on-one time isn’t helping either.

It’s a crush, a crush on a lifelong friend, a crush on her best friend’s little sister. A crush Ava absolutely shouldn’t let get out of control. One she shouldn’t even toy with for a second.

Most of Ava knows continuing on their path of a fake relationship is really self-destructive behavior. The smart thing to do would be to break it off. 

As far as everyone else knows, they’ve been dating for three weeks. They could cite not being right for each other or being better as friends or their inevitable distance at the end of summer as reasons for the breakup and escape with little questioning. Sure, Ava would have to face the wrath of Aunt Dot as she tries to convince Ava of all the reasons she should make it work, but at least she wouldn’t be subjecting herself to this blazing fire which grows within her chest anytime she spends time with Sara. 

Ava should break this off, she thinks. Really, it would be for the best. Less time spent alone with Sara, less time in close physical proximity means less opening up to Sara. It means a lesser chance of falling fast. A better chance she’ll make it out of this whole thing without feeling like her heart will be ripped from her chest.

If she shuts this down now, Ava can make it out before she’s in too deep.

“Hey, Aves?” Sara whispers into Ava’s chest, her voice sleep-laden and soft.

“Hm?”

Sara curls closer into Ava’s side. “Thanks for spending this summer with me. I really love being with you.”

Ava’s heart swells, and she hates herself a little for it. Mentally, Ava beats back the impending feelings with a broom. 

Sara probably means she enjoys spending time with Ava and reconnecting and getting Quentin off her back and having little to no work responsibilities for the summer. Sara probably does love the chance to rope swing into the springs and lay out in the sun and cook out by the fire and not feel alone, but Ava knows it’s all in a different way than the way she’s started to enjoy this.

Even with Sara’s recent confession of once having a crush on Ava, Ava knows Sara must mean it platonically. Sara loves being with her _platonically_. She wouldn’t have brought up the crush so nonchalantly if there was any chance of it being real anymore. 

And that’s okay. It’ll have to be.

Ava knows she isn’t going to shut this down. There’s little over two weeks left until the end of the summer, and why open themselves up to the criticism of their families? They can just enjoy this time together, and then Ava can sit in her crush once she’s back in Chicago and wait for it to dissipate. 

What other choice does she have?

For the first time all summer, it begins to rain. The day starts out as beautiful as can be - there’s a breeze to break up the stagnant humidity, the heat is tolerable, and there’s a smattering of small clouds to shield the sun’s rays. 

As with a usual day, those around the campground break into groups depending on who wants to participate in what activity. There’s a morning round of sand volleyball during which Ava and Astra discover their competitiveness is perfectly matched, and the cordial match turns into a full blown smackdown where Sara and Charlie get caught in the crossfire. 

In the afternoon, Nate, Ray, Nora, and Laurel join Sara and Ava for a hike. They’re deep into a winding trail when the sky opens up. In what seems like seconds, the sky goes from blue to black, and buckets start pouring down.

As slowly as the team had been trekking uphill, they’re back down almost instantaneously, sprinting a quickly muddying trail while shouting all the way.

Laurel is first to make it under the cover of her cabin porch, not that it matters much, all of their clothes are completely soaked through. Between gasps of shock at the unexpected rain and howling laughter at the situation, Ray, Nora, and Nate slide into their respective lodges as well. Sara and Ava are last off the trail, running hand in hand and lagging behind the rest.

Sara makes the dash towards her cabin, while Ava scrams towards hers. As the two of them pull in a misaligned fashion, Sara’s heel catches a wet patch of mud, and she skids without traction. Before she knows it, she’s on the ground, and she’s brought Ava with her. 

Ava must be in shock, because all she can do as she hits the ground - scratch that, as she hits a slick puddle of thick brown mud - is bark out a laugh. 

Both of them are covered from heel to mid-back with the dirty wet sludge. Sara can feel the mud squelch in her tennis shoes, and she can see some it dripping down Ava’s face. 

The whole thing strikes Sara as absolutely hilarious. 

Ava is wearing a face Sara’s all too familiar with, a sort of pouty expression which says she’s exasperated and entertained all at once. It’s the same face Ava makes when she’s trying not to laugh at one of Sara’s stupid jokes. Only this time it’s distorted by the oozing mess of wet earth.

They’re both ass down in the mud, laughing at the situation, when Sara notices Ava's front side is still completely clear of dirt. And, well, that just won’t do. 

Before Sara has a chance to consider the consequences, a handful of mud lands smack in the center of Ava’s torso, right in the middle of her white tank top. Ava's face contorts into one of shock, but her raised eyebrows say even more. They say _you’re on_. 

Ava scoops up her own sloppy handful of muck, and it lands at the side of Sara’s neck. And then they’re flinging it back and forth, caught in a fight like no other. The rain is coming down in sheets at this point, and even if Sara and Ava could see all the way to Sara’s cabin where Laurel and Quentin stand observing, it wouldn’t matter. They’re too caught up in their own world to be bothered by the observers.

The bystanders behold the interaction for just a few moments. It’s hard to see through the rain, but it’s clear enough for Quentin to make a comment.

“I’ve never seen your sister look this happy.”

Laurel has to agree.

By the time the antics come to a stop, both Sara and Ava are indistinguishable from the puddle in which they sit. They look like they just took a dunk in Willy Wonka’s chocolate river. Mud has soaked through their shoes and shorts, streaks run through Ava’s hair like terribly blended lowlights, and Sara can feel a glob deep inside her ear canal. 

“I surrender,” Sara calls, throwing her hands up before Ava can wrestle her any deeper into the filth. A smile rises across Ava’s face, one like no other. Sara isn’t one to surrender often, so even if it’s over a tousle in the mud, Ava must be proud. 

Under an open sky, Ava manages to stand again. She pulls Sara up with an outstretched hand, and just barely manages to keep them upright as Sara looks for purchase on the slick ground. It’s by Ava holding Sara at both her forearms they manage to accomplish this. 

The position puts them in close proximity. Startlingly close. In fact, no-personal-space close. 

Sara looks up at Ava and her blinding smile and finds herself taken aback. Ava is covered in mud, a wild look of accomplishment in her eyes, breathing heavily, and soaked with rain. There’s streaks of water running off her face, bringing trails of reddish-brown dirt with her. 

It’s in this moment that Sara wants nothing more than to kiss Ava. 

It’s pouring rain, there’s no crowd that Sara knows of, no audience to perform for. It’s just her and Ava. And Ava’s right there, this close to her. Ava, with shining eyes from the situation, with a tank top clinging to her skin, with a stray leaf stuck to the side of her throat. 

She shouldn’t.

Sara wants to kiss Ava, and that’s exactly why she shouldn’t.

Their agreement is based on trust. It’s based on a mutual understanding of this whole thing being staged. It’s not supposed to be based on Sara’s actual wants and desires.

Because she shouldn’t want this. 

This is her friend, someone she’s known forever, someone who understands Sara inside and out. 

Someone who trusts her not to have ulterior motives when they kiss.

It happens so fast; Sara can’t be sure, but she thinks Ava leans in. Not completely, not enough to kiss, but enough to bring them to hover mere millimeters apart. And Sara reciprocates, leans in enough to feel Ava’s breath ghosting over her lips, before she pulls back abruptly. 

In the distance, thunder cracks and offers Sara an excuse for her jerky movement.

“We should get inside,” Sara pants out, pointing towards the sky. 

Ava nods, something regretful crossing her face. Sara’s back under the cover of her own cabin before giving herself time to contemplate the meaning of Ava’s expression. 

By the time the thunder stops and Sara gets herself changed into clean clothes, she’s had ample time to think over what just almost happened. 

This is supposed to be a sham. A falsehood. A scheme for their own benefit, not… this. Not Sara almost kissing Ava of her own volition rather than necessity.

She thinks back to a few days prior, when they were at the wishing tree. Sara so casually dropped the information of having previously had a crush on Ava. It wasn’t meant to be some big revelation, because it was supposed to be something entirely in the past. And it is.

But, then, why does Sara feel a bit like she used to? Giddy, like a kid in a candy store where Ava is the prize.

It’s not like Laurel hasn’t been warning against this exact thing. She’s been more than implying there was some truth to their acting, and it does seem to be true. Because when Sara thinks about it, really thinks about it, it doesn’t feel like she’s forcing herself to spend all this time with Ava. It isn’t like she’s doing this out of pure need.

She’s spending her whole summer by Ava’s side because she _wants_ to. 

In fact, Sara thinks she’d be happy spending even longer joined at the hip. Not that she’d ever admit it.

Truthfully, Sara would be willing to give this a longer try. Her teenage feelings seem to be back with a vengeance, but this time they’re built on something deeper than childhood admiration. Maybe it’s their quick-start reconnection, maybe it’s the deep, vulnerable conversations they’ve been engaging in, or maybe it’s the physical affection. Either way, Sara is feeling something much stronger than platonic. She probably has for weeks. 

Ava, unfortunately, doesn’t feel the same way. Sara is sure Ava thought Laurel was watching them in the mud. Or Ava must not have actually leaned in the way Sara assumed. Because why would Ava want to kiss Sara? 

This is sure to turn into a problem if Sara doesn’t call it off soon. Ava is in this to keep the family off her back. She’s in this for a relaxing summer. Finding out your fake lover is actually into you? Probably the exact opposite of what Ava wants. 

Sara’s sitting on her bed, drinking a cup of packet hot chocolate, when Quentin knocks on the door and peers his head in. 

“Hey, baby. Any requests for dinner? Laurel was talking about grilled cheese.”

Sara shrugs. “I’m not hungry. I’ll make something later.”

It’s not like Sara to refuse a meal, and certainly not something as delicious as a melt-in-your-mouth sandwich made by her dear old dad. Quentin steps into Sara’s room and takes a seat on the edge of her bed. 

“What’s on your mind?”

Sara shakes her head, belittles her worries into a _nothing, just thinking_. She’s trying to avoid a conversation where she most certainly reveals her feelings.

She doesn’t want to let her dad know what’s really going on. For one, this relationship has been the highlight of his summer. She doesn’t want to ruin the façade. And Sara definitely doesn’t want him to know she’s been lying.

“Is this about Ava?” Quentin asks knowingly. He’s always had a sixth sense about these sorts of things, some sort of intuition about what’s on Sara’s mind and what she really needs to hear. 

The nod Sara gives is reluctant, but honest. 

Her dad nudges her, asks if she wants to talk more about it. And Sara does. Quentin usually has a way with advice, even when she isn’t sure she’s ready to hear.

“I’m afraid Ava isn’t as into this as I am.” It’s a fairly vague summary of how Sara is feeling, but she supposes it will do. She gives Quentin a brief overview, tells him they just sort of fell into this, and how it was meant to be casual because they’re limited by the summer. She skirts around the truth by implying they’ll end due to their looming returns home, not because this was all a fraud. “But I might be more into this than I originally thought, and I don’t know if it’s as real for Ava.”

Sara’s not sure what she wants from this conversation. Validation perhaps. Maybe for her father to say it’s okay to break things off so she doesn’t get hurt. Maybe just some pity. Sara’s not, however, expecting to be contradicted.

“I wouldn’t worry about it.”

“What?”

“Of course this is real for Ava. Trust your old man, I can tell.” 

“I-” Sara stutters, utterly baffled. “What?” she questions again.

“I’ve known Ava over half her life. Known you for the whole thing. I can see it in how Ava looks at you when you’re not looking. Even if this was a summer fling for the two of you, it’s easy to see she’s on the same page.” 

Normally Sara would be the type to challenge the statement. How Ava looks at her when she isn’t looking is hardly irrefutable evidence that Ava is in this. That’s the exact type of acting they’re meant to be doing. Looks and glances when your partner isn’t aware is part of how you convince a whole campground of your connection.

“Yeah, maybe,” Sara tells Quentin, a half agreement which she doesn’t truly believe in. 

“Can see it in your eyes too,” he comments. Sara’s eyebrows jump up into a question. “You’re different around Ava. Happier than I’ve seen you around anyone else. She’s good for you.”

It’s sweet, the smile which rises to Sara’s face that is. She does feel different around Ava. A little more free, a little more optimistic. Better about herself and her place in the world. It’s too bad she’s certain Ava doesn’t feel the same way. 

Her dad really seems to believe in this all. For a second, Sara’s mind goes into overdrive as she considers if he’ll be devastated at their inevitable breakup. Quentin is thrilled about their sham of a relationship. 

“Daddy,” Sara starts, “why were you so insistent on me dating someone?” 

Even prior to the summer, Quentin was pressuring Sara to find someone she connected with and be with them longer than for a casual fling. It’s not like he could have predicted her being with Ava.

“Ah, well, I didn’t want you to end up like me.” Sara goes to interrupt him, but Quentin holds up a hand to keep Sara silent. “Look, I have many amazing things in my life. You and your sister, the grounds, our friends, but sometimes I wish I had someone to share this all with, and I want the same for you and Laurel.”

Sara thinks Laurel being with Tommy probably ignited the hopes Quentin already had. Laurel’s happy relationship really highlighted Sara’s lack of one. She wonders how empty Quentin will think she is after Ava returns to Chicago and she goes back to Central City.

“You have people to share life with,” Sara replies, rather than address the rest of his statement. 

“And so do you. Even if you and Ava think you’re just for the summer, isn’t it worth it to share all the time you have left with her?”

Sara’s response of _grilled cheese sounds great for dinner_ is clearly dissatisfactory for Quentin, but he accepts the end of the conversation for what it is. Sara needs some time to think, so he leaves her to do just that. 

Although the thunder and lightning take a break long enough for Ava to sprint to the communal shower and get the mud out of her hair, she still feels grimy for the rest of the night. Less so due to the sludge she found in every crevice of her body, and more so due to the way she almost took advantage of Sara.

Their little slip and slide in the rain, while humorous at the time, only served to amplify her feelings. With Sara clinging to her arms, their bodies pressed together in the rain, it felt more than natural to lean in. Only, there was no one around to perform for, so Ava had no right to act on her wishful thinking and engage in a kiss. Sara’s reaction of pulling away and practically sprinting back to her cabin only reinforced the truth of this. 

They’re doing each other a professional favor to pretend to date. Ava absolutely shouldn’t be pushing or falling into more. They’re just friends, and Ava surely isn’t into crossing any boundaries or taking advantage of the situation. 

While a few days ago she was sure she could handle this, these butterflies in her chest which take off in stormy flight around Sara, now Ava isn't quite so sure. It might actually be better to call this off before she lets it get fully out of hand. 

She curses Laurel for easily predicting this. A little bit of vulnerability opened up a world of emotional intimacy, and now Ava can’t keep her feelings under wrap. 

To not break this off would be exploiting the situation, Ava thinks. She intends to have a talk with Sara, as much as she is reluctant to, but then there’s a knock at her front cabin door.

“Sara?” 

Sara’s standing on her porch, sweatpants on and rain jacket tossed over her head like a tarp. It’s still raining pretty hard; Ava’s honestly a bit shocked Sara even risked it to run over. 

“Girls’ night in?” Sara asks, except Ava knows Zari, Charlie, and Astra planned a poker game for the evening, and Behrad, Nate, Ray, Nora, and Laurel sent a text asking about an Indiana Jones marathon about an hour ago, so “girls’ night in” really means “Sara and Ava alone for the evening once again”. If anything though, Ava realizes this gives a perfect opportunity for the two of them to talk, maybe for them to even discuss if this fake dating ploy is something they should keep doing. So… 

“Definitely.”

The evening starts standard; Ava has some television show playing off her laptop for background noise, they chat about the usual things, get startled by a crack of thunder which signals the start of a second wind of red storm cells. 

They’re both on their third beer when the power goes out.

There’s a package of emergency tea candles in the storage closet which Ava seeks out, while Sara gathers the flashlights from under the sink. The electronics are turned off so they can conserve phone battery for flashlight use, and soon it’s the two of them surrounded only by the flickering light of candle wicks. 

“Bet movie marathon isn’t working out too well right about now,” Sara comments.

“The poker game is probably going strong though.”

Sara makes a noise in agreement before she gets a wicked smile. “We should play a game.”

Ava isn’t looking to see Sara’s face, so she offers up Yahtzee, knowing it’s in the same closet as the old VCR tapes. 

Never Have I Ever is Sara’s suggestion.

“Sara, come on, it’s just the two of us.”

“So?”

Ava shakes her head. Sometimes Sara really is annoying like this, even if she’s trying to be charming.

“So, that’s just called having a conversation.” Ava waves her hand, nearly knocking over her beer bottle in the process. She knows sometimes Sara uses the guise of a game to open up, but there’s no one else around. There’s no need to fake it right now.

Sara, who has been lounging on her belly, sits up cross-legged. “Okay, conversation it is then.”

They’re in the same position as they were the last movie night, comforter on the floor with pillows serving as backrests, only with the added ambiance of flickering lights. Ava mirrors Sara’s posture and says, “What would you like to talk about?”

Let it be known that Ava does this on purpose. Sara’s asks about games and openings for a conversation are a clear clue she wants to talk about something which may make her feel exposed. When Sara acts in this way, she usually hopes someone else will take the lead until she can slide in whatever personal tidbit she wants to be shared. Ava opening up the floor to Sara is a purposeful tactic to get Sara to divulge whatever is on her mind.

“I don’t know, nothing in particular.”

Once Sara beats around the bush, that is.

It only takes a few minutes of half-assed back and forth, some playful teasing, and finishing off her drink for Sara to drop what she really wants to say.

“So about earlier, in the mud-” It’s meant to be casual, but Ava can tell from Sara’s cadence the comment is anything but. It’s obvious this is the whole reason Sara wanted to talk. Probably the entire reason for her suggesting they stay in.

Ava’s panic sets in relatively quickly. Sara must’ve noticed Ava leaning in, she noticed the way Ava wanted to kiss her even though there was no one else around and she’s going to call this all off. It’s probably for the best, Ava thinks, except it means Sara probably thinks Ava was abusing the situation and their closeness and their trust and--

Sara picks at the lettering on the glass bottle. “I’m sorry if I overstepped. I shouldn’t have done that.”

And, _wait, what?_ Ava verbalizes her confusion. 

“The leaning in for a kiss. It was a reflex or something, just the situation getting out of hand. I didn’t mean to cross any lines.”

Sara’s eyes jump around everywhere but Ava’s face. They match the pinballing thoughts bouncing around inside Ava’s head. It’s all a little foggy thanks to her inebriation, and Ava’s internal monologue is going a million miles a minute, but she thinks she’s getting the gist of it.

Sara is apologizing. Sara is apologizing to… her? Sara is apologizing for leaning in to kiss Ava when Ava was the one who leaned in. _What the hell_?

“Ava?”

The silence from Ava has lasted longer than is acceptable. She’s pretty sure she’s gaping, a full on fish-out-of-water expression gracing her face, but in Ava’s defense, she wasn’t expecting to hear this. 

When Ava catches Sara’s eye again, she notices how worried Sara looks. And nervous. It’s uncharacteristic. Sara doesn’t tend to apologize like this nor does she get flustered around anyone. And yet.

“If you want to call this off, I’d understand. I took it too far. You didn’t sign up for me actually going to kiss you in the rain.” Sara makes a move to stand up.

It doesn’t happen often, but every now and again, Sara does this thing. Her insecurities will show as she attempts to push people away. Oftentimes it’s more aggressive than apologetic, but the point stands: Sara will distance herself from others when she’s lacking self-confidence or feeling guilty or thinks she’s in the wrong.

Ava darts out a hand to stop her from moving. “I’m the one who leaned in.”

“No?”

“ _No?_ ” 

It’s a stand off of confusion, Sara saying _no, I leaned in to kiss you in the rain, I had a crush on you when I was sixteen and it’s back again_ and Ava saying _no, I went to kiss you, and I’ve been thinking about doing it since that night of singing by the fire, but you pulled away then ran back to your cabin_.

Ava's forehead wrinkles as she considers what is happening. She started this evening intent on telling Sara they should probably shut this down before she let her feelings get out of hand. She was going to come up with some excuse to keep her motivations secret. But now Sara is here, in her cabin, telling Ava she crossed a line and would be okay with calling this off. 

Sara’s here, looking nervous and unsure, and they’re in the dark, and then Sara tilts her head, and the warm glow of candlelight catches her face and has Sara perfectly illuminated. If Ava’s inhibitions were working as normal, she wouldn’t have done it. They’re literally smack in the middle of conversation on not crossing boundaries and letting situations get out of hand, Sara’s _just_ apologized for going to kiss her…

And Ava leans in. Or maybe Sara does. Maybe they both do. They were already so close, sitting cross-legged face-to-face on the floor. The transition is seamless. One second, Ava is looking into Sara’s eyes, wondering how in the world Sara is the one apologizing for almost slipping up, and then they’re doing the act itself. 

There’s a few seconds there where Ava doesn’t let herself overthink, where she doesn’t run away with her anxieties and dissections of the situation, where she doesn’t tell herself this is a bad idea. Kissing Sara for real has to be a terrible idea. 

But for a terrible idea, why does it feel so right? Why does it feel like Ava’s let go of a breath she’s been holding for far too long and now she can inhale again? It’s giving in to her desires, just for once. And Sara is reciprocating.

It’s when Sara’s hand moves from its position on Ava’s knee to slide up the back of her neck that Ava’s brain kicks into gear. She recoils, or tries to, at least, but Sara’s gentle grip stops Ava from launching herself halfway across the room.

“You were just talking about the situation getting out of hand,” Ava whispers, her voice filled with regret. She glances down.

Luckily, Sara shakes her head. “It’s not out of hand if you want it too.”

When Ava looks back up, Sara is looking at her with intentions clear. Something like bedroom eyes. She smirks the smallest amount, another defense mechanism Ava recognizes in case Ava says this is a bad idea. If Ava says they shouldn’t.

 _We should talk about this_ Ava thinks, her need to have a plan and designated boundaries screaming from within her. Ava banishes the thoughts. They should talk, but not tonight. Not when Sara is looking at her like that, not when there’s no lights and no one around and for once, just once, Ava wants to give in.

She rests her forehead against Sara’s. 

Talking can be for tomorrow. Figuring out if this means anything more than Sara physically wanting her. Figuring out what this means for their relationship in front of their parents and in private. 

Figuring out if this changes anything at all.

Ava gives in.

The last thing she says before kissing Sara is _okay_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing all of y'all a Happy New Year! Although the day does nothing for me personally, it is so nice to see the date on the calendar change. Here's to hoping this upcoming year bring good things.
> 
> With that being said, for anyone curious, 2020 did bring a few good things, including my discovery of Legends (and really the entirety of the Arrowverse), writing over 175,000 words after having written nothing but research papers since the tenth grade, and chatting with all of y'all about these fics. It's been the highlight of the year, and I can't wait to continuing creating❤️


	5. been so good at wasting time (thank god for july)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from In July by Sara Bareilles

When Ava wakes, the last thing she wants to do is actually get up. It’s out of the ordinary for her - usually Ava is jumping out of bed to go on a run or check her email or at least start a morning cup of tea - but this morning, Ava wants to stay bundled under the covers until the end of all eternity. There’s a heavy weight against her chest, a warm glow from sunlight flickering through the curtains they forgot to close last night, and the rhythmic sound of Sara’s light breathing. 

The night before comes back, flashes of skin and teeth and moans and everything else they let happen that Ava hadn’t even afforded herself the thought of prior. She feels Sara stir beneath her; her steady breaths break for a sharp and deep inhale before she nuzzles her face deeper into the side of Ava’s neck. Her arms gently squeeze Ava.

There's a second of pure bliss. They're notched into each other like puzzle pieces, and Ava is warm off endorphins and Sara's body heat.

Ava can practically feel the moment Sara recognizes where she is and who she’s with. Sara’s previously relaxed body goes taut as she freezes. Before Ava can formulate a reaction, whether positive, neutral, or negative, before Sara can say something and change the peaceful ambiance of the moment, there’s a crash from the front door of Ava’s cabin.

Apparently Nate is too good for knocking, because he enters without warning while proclaiming, “God, I cannot stand another minute with my paren--” He scans over Ava's bed, sees the two bodies lying there, and promptly slaps his hands over his eyes. “I saw nothing! Nothing! Hi, Sara…”

Any sense of morning after serenity is now gone, replaced by sheer panic as Sara and Ava both scramble to pull the comforter over themselves. 

“Nate!” Ava hisses, “Get out, please. Christ.”

Nate’s already at the door, making some comment about waiting outside, being sorry for the interruption. He hits his knee into a chair on his way out, and half hops, half limps out of the lodge. 

“So, uh,” _about last night_ Ava thinks, but refrains from saying it. She isn’t sure where she wants to go with the conversation. If she wants to say anything at all. The night before was better than she could have imagined; she’s not sure she wants to ruin it with talking. Not until she figures out her own feelings.

Not generally known for her talking through things, Ava isn’t surprised to see Sara gathering pieces of clothing from the floor. She smiles at Ava, though it’s terse. 

“Fucking Nate,” Sara says, and it’s exactly what's going through Ava’s mind. Along with everything else from the past month, that is. They both chuckle lightly. 

As Ava throws on the tank top Sara tosses to her, she sees Nate’s silhouette on the front porch. His hand is still slapped over his eyes, appearing like a scarred child who just walked in on his parents. Ava supposes walking in on your cousin and her assumed girlfriend isn’t too much better. 

“We should, uh, talk later,” Sara comments, making her way towards the door. She doesn’t sound thrilled about the concept of talking, but she doesn’t sound horrified by the night, which is better than Ava feared. At least she doesn’t seem regretful. 

Ava nods. “Please.” 

When Sara passes onto the porch, she taps Nate on the shoulder and gives him the all clear. 

He walks in to face Ava with a cocky smile. 

“Nice hickey.”

It seems everyone in the goddamn campground has a sixth sense for detecting hickeys. By two in the afternoon, Nate, Nora, and Zari have all called Ava out for the bruise on her neck, sucked in by Sara at some point in the night. Every time someone comments, Ava turns scarlet. 

She isn’t actively trying to hide it around most of her friends and family. Despite feeling like she's too old to be caught with the purple welt, Ava doesn’t go to great lengths to keep it secret. Technically, as far as anyone else knows, her and Sara are together. They’re adults; they can leave hickeys if they want.

Except there’s one person who knows this is supposed to be an act.

If Laurel could, she would grab Ava by the ear lobe and drag her away from their friends the second she notices the mark. Her eyes go wide, flashing through lord knows how many possible explanations for how Ava and Sara got _there_. Unfortunately for Laurel, though perhaps fortunately for Ava, Laurel notices as she’s walking past Ava on her way to meet Tommy, who just arrived at the campground. She doesn’t have the opportunity to scold her best friend and figure out what’s going on because her boyfriend is finally there. 

Instead, as Laurel crosses paths with Ava, she points to her own neck, tilts her head, and gives a signature Laurel Lance stare. The pointed look is enough to have hardened criminals admitting their guilt in court, and it certainly does its job on Ava. Her stomach starts churning immediately. 

There’s not time to address the situation until later that evening. Before Laurel and Ava will get the chance to talk, there’s a day spent with the entire group. Laurel and Tommy reunite, and Tommy is introduced to the members of the group who don’t already know him. His father, Malcolm, is one of Quentin’s dear friends, and the two of them spend time catching up loudly. 

It’s a day where everyone is outside. Frisbees and footballs are thrown around, camp chairs are unfolded, wet hands from the springs dig through potato chip bags before complaints are let out. As dark and stormy as the previous night was, now the sun is shining, and there’s hardly a cloud in the sky. Electricity is back on, music is playing, grills are running.

And Sara is nowhere to be found.

Ava asks Charlie about Sara’s whereabouts as slyly as she can manage, but she gets the impression she doesn’t do a great job. As Charlie tells Ava Sara went off on a long run, they purse their lips in doubt. It’s clear they’re questioning why Ava doesn’t know.

“Hell of a hickey,” Charlie comments as a way to end the conversation. 

Ava really should’ve thought of concealer before joining the public today.

Zari notices Ava is a little off when she misses two separate opportunities to call out Nate and Ray for general tomfoolery. She slinks over to Ava, holding out a water bottle as a peace offering. 

“Where’s your girl at?” Zari asks. And it’s obviously the wrong thing to ask, because Ava shies away from the question. Ever observant Zari doesn’t even give Ava the chance to come up with a lie. “Where’s your _head_ at?” 

Ava picks at the label on the bottle. “Somewhere else,” she admits. 

She should be thrilled today. Tommy is here and Laurel is beaming, the weather is gorgeous as could be, her night was as brilliant as it was unexpected. But now Ava’s off kilter. 

Zari steadies Ava’s nervous hands by placing a perfectly manicured palm over her own. “Why don’t you go catch a nap? Or a shower? Get your head back.”

Ava goes to refute the offer, but Zari doesn’t let her. “I’ll cover for you.” 

Traditionally, Zari and Ava aren’t known for their closeness. Being a few years younger than Sara, Ava was never really involved with Zari's group. Once a tomboy, Zari now carries herself elegantly, and given how she’s grown, Ava could see herself being close with her. This olive branch action is more than enough for Ava to trust her. 

She needs someone on her side today, even if it's Zari with absolutely no idea of the true situation. 

A shower sounds like the perfect way to clear her head. Ava grabs her toiletries and towel before making her way to the communal hall to wash off the sunblock and sand from the spring bank. It’s not exactly full blown spa levels of relaxation, but the warm water is refreshing. The shower doesn't exactly manage to clarify what Ava wants to say to Sara, nor does it offer suggestions of how to even approach a conversation on their hookup.

At least she manages to lift some of the fog of her brain.

Wrapped in a fuzzy towel, Ava opens the shower stall door to be met with Sara walking into the bathroom. 

Speak of the devil.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

Their greetings are stilted, and there’s a lingering sense of awkwardness which only grows larger as both women wait for the other to say something. 

Ava looks down at her towel, then back up at Sara, and she flushes. It’s fairly obvious. Sara uses the reaction as a way to break the silence.

“Bashful, are we?” A smile toys at the corner of her mouth, like teasing Ava is more natural than saying hi. Like causing trouble for Ava is the easiest way to express her appreciation for her.

Maybe it is.

Ava’s not bashful, not necessarily, but in this moment, knowing what her and Sara did last night and then seeing her in these circumstances, she’s embarrassed in a way she isn’t sure how to name. She grips on to her towel a little tighter, ensures it’s covering all of her. 

“Uh.” It comes out as jerky and ungraceful as Ava feels in the moment. She’s in a towel, in her shower shoes. _Why,_ Ava broods, _didn’t you bring your clothes into the stall?_ She reaches out for her pile of clothes at the shelf under the window. 

Sara chuckles, and it’s at this second Ava notices Sara is carrying her own set of clothes and toiletries. She’s dressed in running clothes, red in the face and wearing a shirt which is soaked with sweat. Either she really wanted some good exercise or Sara was running as a way to process her own thoughts. If Ava was the betting type, she'd put down money on the latter.

“Well, when you’re done with the shower…” Sara trails off, implying her want for the big stall. There’s nothing wrong with the other two, but the one which Ava is in is the only to have decent water pressure. 

Ava scurries back behind the door without saying anything. She struggles to put on her clothes as quickly as possible over her damp skin. 

Sara is wondering why Ava scurried back behind the door to change. They’re in the changing area of the bath hall. It’s the camping equivalent of a locker room. The only explanation is that she’s too shy or too unsettled to change in front of Sara. 

Sara approaches the door. 

“You know, this really shouldn't be weird. I’ve seen you in a towel before.”

Ava trips while attempting to pull up her shorts and catches herself on the stall door. The hinges rattle. 

“Shit, are you okay?” Ava can hear Sara’s voice through the crack. The knowledge she’s right there flusters Ava even more.

“Fine,” Ava gets out between gritted teeth.

Sara makes a noise of acknowledgement, then says, “Why are you being weird?”

“I’m not.” 

She is.

“Stop being weird. I literally ate you out last night. You can change in front of me.”

At least this time Ava has both feet on the ground when Sara makes her indignant comment so she doesn’t wipe out. 

Now fully dressed, Ava cracks the door. “I’m not being weird,” she insists, despite the evidence to the contrary. 

She doesn’t intend to act any different than normal. But Ava is nothing if not an overthinker, and she’s currently pondering everything she’s ever done in her entire life, but most of all the previous night. They still haven’t had a chance to talk. 

Ava slides out from the shower and holds open the door for Sara. She nods her head in an _all yours_ fashion. 

Before Ava can get the chance to bolt from the bathroom, she’s stopped by Sara’s hand resting gently on her arm. 

“Are we okay?” Sara questions.

Ava nods, though it still looks unnatural. 

Sara isn’t certain what to say to that. So many things, but also nothing at all, because they’re in the steamy and old bath hall and she knows her family is waiting for her arrival and their absence will be noticed pretty soon. “Are you sure? I still want us to talk, but are you sure we’re okay?” 

It’s a loaded question masked with a yes or no answer. Yes, they’re okay, at least they were the previous night, more connected than they’ve ever been. They’re also very much so not okay in the sense that Ava has no idea what was real, what has been acting this whole time, what was simply basic attraction, and what was true feelings. If any of it was.

“We’re okay.” This time the answer is a little more definitive. She juts her chin at the stall again. “Go shower, I know Quentin is waiting on you to join the group.” 

By the time Sara finishes showering and comes out to see everyone, it’s midafternoon. Lunch has come and gone, and the morning activities have been traded for relaxation. 

Laurel makes sure to give a _nice of you to join us_ when Sara comes around, and it’s both snide and knowing. Sara ignores it in favor of hugging Tommy and jumping into the nearest conversation, but she can practically feel Laurel’s need to talk. It radiates off her sister like heat from an oven.

Ava returns later after she takes a long nap, and when she reintegrates herself into the crowd, she settles next to Sara. Next to, but not touching. 

It isn’t likely anyone but Laurel will notice their lack of physical connection, but to Sara there may as well be a flashing sign above their heads. She doesn’t know if Ava is doing this because _she’s_ unsure of Sara’s boundaries or if Ava has decided the charade is soon to be up; regardless, Sara doesn’t reach out to take Ava’s hand, even though she wouldn’t have hesitated the past few weeks.

At several points throughout the afternoon, Sara sees Ava sharply avoid eye contact with her. It’s as if Ava is looking at her, but doesn’t want to be caught. It doesn’t matter what it all means, to Sara it’s extreme proof they are _not_ okay, despite what Ava told her in the bathroom. 

She wants to drag Ava away from their friends and family by the time the charcoal is lit for dinner, but then Quentin is requesting her help with the hot dogs and Aunt Dot is calling Ava over for some niece and aunt time. When the meal is finally ready and everyone is finished scarfing down food, Sara thinks she’ll finally get an opportunity to ask for Ava alone, but then Tommy requests ghost stories for his first night back at the campground and everyone settles around the firepit.

Sara and Ava sit side-by-side on a log, thighs not quite touching, hovering mere millimeters apart. At this point in the night, Sara and Ava would normally have their legs tangled together or Sara would be in Ava’s lap or, at the bare minimum, they’d be whispering comments back and forth. Sure, Sara knows it’s mostly in an act, but this awkward, standoffish silence between her and Ava isn’t something she’s used to. 

At some point in the night, Ava’s hand slips into Sara’s, and she gives Sara a soft squeeze. The small action alone is enough for loads of anxiety to fall from Sara’s shoulders. Without saying anything, Ava is saying she’s still here. She’s not running from Sara like this was the biggest mistake of her life. It has to count for something. 

When the night finally, centuries later, begins to wind down, Sara is ready to snatch Ava away for the conversation they so desperately need to have. Laurel has other ideas.

She demands Ava’s attention without Sara’s presence, and all Sara can do is wonder what the conversation looks like. 

It goes something like this:

“What the hell is that?” Laurel says aggressively, gesturing towards Ava’s neck. 

Ava opens her mouth, but Laurel interrupts. 

“A hickey. A hickey from my sister. What the hell?” She raps her hand into Ava’s arm in a distinctly Nora-like move. 

There’s an attempt from Ava to explain, but Laurel cuts her off again.

“You said I’d be the first to know if you and Sara were getting together. What gives?!”

“Can I talk now?” 

The expression Laurel wears is one of irritation and impatience. She nods.

As Ava crosses her arms, she explains, “It was just sex.” Which isn’t necessarily the full truth, but given how Ava and Sara haven’t had a chance to talk, it seems likely. 

“What are you talking about? You’re clearly into her.” Laurel’s always been able to read Ava like a book, and if Ava thinks she can dispute it after all the blatant flirting and blushing this summer, she’s sorely mistaken. She doesn’t bother, instead just shakes her head and looks down.

Laurel senses the chance in Ava immediately. She goes from vexed to concerned in the span of seconds.

“I- yeah,” Ava admits. “I am into her. But we haven’t, I haven’t- She doesn’t know. Last night wasn’t anything more. We didn’t talk about it.” Her eyes are downcast as she explains.

“Oh, honey.” It would be pitying from anyone but Laurel. “You have to talk to her.”

“That’s what I was _trying_ to do when you made me come with you.” Ava throws her hands up in exasperation.

“How was I supposed to know that? All I know is my best friend and my sister hooked up last night after they’ve both been denying their obvious feelings for each other.”

Ava’s eyes snap up. 

“What does that mean?” 

_Both_. As in Sara is also denying feelings. But last night Sara was apologizing for overstepping. She didn’t want to push anything. Why wouldn’t Sara want to take next steps if she also had feelings? It’s far more likely this is a physical thing than anything else.

“It means you and Sara need to talk. And then you need to keep me in the loop.” Laurel gives a sharp glare. It’s as disapproving as if it came from Ava’s own mother.

Ava ponders the idea silently. To talk to Sara about all of this involves exposing herself, and Ava isn’t sure she's ready for that, even with Sara. There’s only a few weeks left before the end of summer, it might be better to just get through it. 

Regardless of how she feels about the previous night, it’s not like Ava is expecting anything long term out of this arrangement.

While this conversation is happening, Sara kicks at the dried mud at the feet of the picnic table behind her cabin. Laurel is talking to Ava, and Sara assumes Laurel is chastising her for being with Sara and ruining any chance they may have together.

Truthfully, Sara doesn’t know what she wants to say to Ava. Opening up is something she so rarely does, and with anyone other than Ava. it’s an Everest-sized task. Even to Ava, Sara is reluctant to be fully transparent. 

The worst that would happen is Ava could reject her. Which would be fine. Really. Except Sara hasn’t experienced true feelings like this in years. It would sting. Probably confirm her insecurities that she isn’t meant for a long-term and heavily-invested relationship. But she would make it through.

That's _if_ Sara wants to reveal herself to Ava.

The alternative is to play it cool. Casual. To let Ava take the lead. They could continue this faking thing, only touching in public and being platonic in private as they’d been doing. They could cut it all off, tell the rest of the campground they’re better off as friends and let the rumor mill come to its own conclusions. Sara would even be fine if they hooked up again, as long as Ava was aware of her truth. 

She just needs to know where Ava is at.

“Dammit, Laurel,” Sara huffs out. 

“Nope, just me.” 

Sara spins to see Ava rounding the back of her cabin. She hadn’t heard her come around.

Ava smiles softly. It looks a lot more genuine than the few she’s been wearing throughout the day, this time only shadowed by a hint of nervousness, most likely at the conversation to come. 

“Weird day,” Ava comments, saddling next to Sara on the table top of the picnic table.

“Started nice though.” 

Ava runs pink and coughs to hide it, unsuccessfully. 

“So last night was-”

“I was thinking-”

They speak over each other, then chuckle. After a clumsy encounter in which they both insist the other goes first, Sara takes the reins.

“There’s only two weeks left before the end of summer. I don’t know how you feel about us keeping up with _dating_ ”, Sara does air quotations as she speaks, “or if you want to cut this off. I’m down for anything, but I want to know how you feel.” 

She leaves the floor open for Ava on purpose. Mostly it’s to ensure Ava has an opportunity to tell Sara her true feelings, but it’s partially so Sara doesn’t have to be the first to lay her soul bare.

Ava picks at a sliver of wood peeling up from the table. Once she manages to pull it out, she says, “I had a good time last night.”

“So did I.”

“I don’t want that to make things awkward between us.”

“Like in the bathroom?”

“No, I- Yes.”

“It doesn’t have to. We’re both adults.” Sara shrugs nonchalantly, but the worried wrinkle in her forehead gives away her true disposition.

Sara’s trying to keep herself objective here so as not to sway what Ava may or may not reveal to her. It feels like the more mature way of dealing with things. Not that avoiding her feelings has ever gotten Sara something positive, but she bats the voice inside her head away. 

“We were supposed to be faking everything around our families,” Ava begins, and Sara thinks Ava might be about to reveal something. Something like _but I haven’t been faking at all_. It's just wishful thinking though, because instead, Ava says, “I would be fine to keep doing that.”

_Right_ Sara mouths, while nodding to show her agreement. In truth, she is fine with it all. It feels dishonest with how her feelings are developing, but Sara pointedly doesn’t think about it.

Ava is still talking. “Last night too.” Sara’s eyes go wide. “If you want, I mean. I’m game.”

The part of her brain Sara was avoiding rings out with full on alarm bells. She might have fooled herself into thinking she could smother her feelings when pretending to date in public, but repeated sex with feelings is an entirely different ball game. One Sara isn’t sure how to navigate. 

Her face falls momentarily, and in response, Ava’s turns too. Sara is quick to refute. “No, no. I mean yes. To the sex. That’s not why I made that face.”

Ava’s eyebrows raise. 

“I was just thinking.” Sara hesitates. She tries to remember her dad’s reassurance the previous night about Ava being on the same page as her. Even if she isn’t, Sara knows Ava deserves transparency. _Just buck up and say it_. “Full disclosure. I really love spending all this time with you this summer, and, not a big deal, but you should know, I have a little bit of a summer crush going on. If that changes anything.”

It’s an underrepresentation of where Sara’s feelings are at, but it’s wildly more accurate than denying them completely.

“A crush on me?” 

Sara is about to jump into a full explanation about how she definitely doesn’t want this to change anything between them, about how they just got so close so fast again, and she’ll understand if Ava changes her answer or if she doesn’t want Sara being with her in public or anymore, but what Ava replies is the exactly opposite.

“That’s, uh,” Ava has been rosy the whole conversation - she always seems to be so around Sara - but she’s exceptionally red now. She shakes off her anxiety to finish her answer. “I get it. If I’m being honest, I do too.” 

“Have a crush on you?” Sara’s vaguely aware of her showboating, smirking and injecting some flirtatiousness into her voice as a way of deflecting. It’s only to hide the absolute hammering in her chest.

“Shut up.” Ava rolls her eyes in that secretly charmed way. “We’ve gotten really close again, and it feels nice. Being with you.” 

Sara might be making it up, but Ava’s last fragment seems more weighted than she probably intended it to be. She tries to take it at face value. Ava has some sort of feelings for her, built on their summer reconnection. She likes being with Sara, and she isn’t shutting her down.

Ava’s discomfort earlier in the day now is completely understandable. As much as Sara has been doubting Ava’s feelings, Ava was doubting hers. The fear of physical attraction being the driving force behind their encounters was on both of their minds, but now they know there’s more to it. 

The conversation began with the two of them a healthy distance apart on the table top. By this point, they’ve grown closer together, pulled by some magnetism as they opened up. One of Ava’s hands is on Sara’s knee, the other on the table. Sara inches her fingers to overlap Ava’s.

“Does that change things?” Sara questions. She knows of Ava’s need for clearly defined boundaries. In the spirit of honesty, Sara is craving them as well. 

“Still down for nights like last night, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“You can just say sex, Ava.”

Cue Ava growing scarlet and Sara attempting to hide her smile with her hand. In lieu of a reply, Ava gives a look of annoyance. It’s one without any heat, and it relaxes Sara. Ava always looks at her like this.

“And the rest of it?” Sara tilts her chin.

As it so often does when Ava’s unsure of herself, her hand shoots to the back of her neck and fiddles with her baby hairs.

“It doesn’t have to be fake dating anymore. If you want.” 

_If you want_. It’s Ava’s catch phrase of the night, like she’s afraid of suggesting something Sara won’t be okay with. As if there’s anything Sara wouldn’t be down to do with Ava. Ava shrugs before adding a qualifier. “For the rest of the summer.”

It was always meant to be a short summer fling, performative or not. And to spend the next two weeks actually with Ava… it’s a bit of a dream come true. A way to lean into her feelings. The deadline isn’t harsh, but comforting; if anything, it reminds Sara not to let herself get out of hand. 

“I’d be okay with that.” More than okay, but Sara doesn’t say it. She’s sure Ava can read her elation all over her face.

“And what about this?” Ava asks, gently moving her hand to cup the side of Sara’s face. Sara gives the smallest nod of her chin, and then Ava kisses her so softly Sara almost could’ve imagined it.

And just like that, an enormous weight is lifted off Sara’s shoulders. All the actions she’s been second guessing, the feelings she’s been trying to ignore, Sara can finally give in to them all. She has permission to think about Ava as someone she is dating, not just as a friend. 

To call it a relief is an understatement. 

For the second night in a row, Sara spends the night in Ava's bed.

Not much changes. The entire campground was under the impression of their connection, so when Ava and Sara spend the following morning hand in hand, no one bats an eye. No one save for Laurel, who quirks her brow and demands an answer from her sister and best friend. 

When they tell her they’re going to casually date for the rest of the summer, she looks doubtful, but there are too many other people around to dispute it. Laurel's been wearing this disbelief since the very first week of summer; maybe it's just a part of her face now. 

While the majority of their friends and family are none the wiser to the transition between them, Sara and Ava are hyperaware. It’s not as if everything has changed overnight, but they flow more naturally. There’s no second guessing if a movement is crossing a line or if they will accidentally reveal the nature of their less-than-platonic feelings. All that remains the a kind of serenity which comes with a summer affair. 

Ava has no delusions of this lasting past the end of July. This was always a temporary arrangement. She can’t help but admit, however, that being with someone is nice, regardless of how short term. The physical attention is incredible, the little flutters in her stomach are more exciting than shameful, and the way Sara is looking at her makes her chest tight with affection.

And now when their hands intertwine or when Sara’s lips brush her cheek after she whispers something, Ava no longer doubts if she means anything by it or if Sara is just a committed actress. 

She does, of course, wonder the extent of Sara’s so-called crush. Ava herself knows she’s misrepresented her feelings, but she can handle it. Smothering down these feelings to something manageable is something she’s no stranger to. Just letting the lid off makes this less like a pressure cooker about to burst. It’s as if she’s been holding her breath the entire summer and now she is finally able to exhale.

On Sara’s end, the only thing which changes is she can now freely look at Ava without wondering if Ava will catch her in the act. There’s all of these little things she’s observed that she can now take the time to focus on.

Like how when Ava laughs, it often comes out sharp and loud before she hides it. She has a tendency to avoid being too big in a situation, but Ava can’t keep her laughs from busting out with no control. Every time it happens, the world lights up in her eyes and there’s this flash of a crazy smile Sara can’t get enough of. She’s free to stare at it without wondering if Ava will think she’s secretly into her. 

They keep spending most of their time together. With the exception of the few hours Ava is committed to keeping up with work and the times their friend groups break off separately, all hours are spent in the other's company. It’s been happening all summer, but now nights are included too.

Four nights in a row the duo find themselves under the sheets in Ava’s cabin with nothing but skin against skin. It’s exhilarating and passionate and intimate all at the same time. It’s also fun, something which neither woman has experienced in bed in years. For Ava, recent encounters have been means to an end, quick encounters with the goal of an orgasm. Sara’s latest hookups have looked much the same.

It’s hard to think it doesn’t mean something more.

The Fourth of July comes before too long and with it a reminder their vacation time will be over soon. A mere ten days remain before Ava is to take off on a flight back to Chicago. The following afternoon, Sara will be driving back to Central City. 

They savor all their time together, but this holiday evening especially. There’s the usual activities of swimming and cookouts, teasing of friends and hugging of family. There’s sparklers and coordinated colored clothing. Zari insists upon a photoshoot of them all in their red, white, and blue attire, and only half of the group complains.

Behrad and Nate volunteer, or rather, beg to light off the fireworks. A solid four explosives make it into the sky before there’s a near miss of sparks on hands. Tommy and Ray take over the display soon after, only to get spooked by a firecracker shooting in the opposite direction they expect.

Ultimately it takes all of the fathers of the group - Malcolm, Hank, and Quentin - to get a real display going. When the sky's alight with colors, Sara slides her hand from Ava’s grasp to cradle her waist. She leans her side into Ava’s chest, tucks her head under Ava’s chin, and breathes in the moment.

It’s hard to believe there’s a place she feels more at home.

She’s slowly coming to realize that’s what Ava is for her. Her home. A part of her childhood she’ll always have. Someone she can always return to when she wishes to feel like she belongs. 

It’s going to be hard to leave. 

This is best case scenario, Sara figures. Spending her vacation like this, wrapped in the nostalgia of old friends, cradled by an old crush, it far exceeded any expectations she had when her father requested this summer. She’s grateful, even if it’ll come to an end soon. 

When she looks up at Ava, she isn’t watching the shimmering colors in the sky; she’s looking down at Sara with longing. Ava has no choice but to grin when Sara catches her gaze. 

Purple glitter reflects off Sara’s eye, and it makes Ava want to sigh. It’s the most beautiful sight, looking down Sara with the background of friends cheering happily over the pyrotechnics above. 

She told herself she wasn’t going to do this. Wasn’t going to grow too attached to the feeling of Sara by her side, not when the agreement is ten more days. But the way Sara is looking up has Ava throwing all hesitancy to the wind. 

She’s already tumbling. May as well fall the rest of the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so 🥰🥰🥰
> 
> If you couldn't tell, I was getting a little soft there at the end. Feel free to give me a shout in the comments if you liked this chapter! I was super excited to post it for y'all. And if you're wondering why these two don't realize they'll be together forever yet, don't worry! It'll all come with time 💗


	6. can we just slow down? (stop trying to figure it out)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title from Coffee at Midnight by Lynsea (acoustic version recommended!)

Sara thinks about Ava.

She thinks about Ava when she’s with her, tangled in bedsheets, sweat glistening between their bodies. She thinks about Ava when they’re apart. When Ava goes off gallivanting with Nate and when Charlie requests Sara’s company for the afternoon.

She thinks of her more than she probably should. 

Sara finds herself pondering the idea of what her future would look like with Ava’s stability in it. It’s not _serious_ _,_ she tells herself. She’s not actually considering a life with Ava. This has an end date rapidly approaching. A blinking red sign that reads _end of relationship_ in little over a week’s time. 

It’s not serious. It’s just a fantasy. An indulgence of sorts.

Sara’s never really been the type to envision domesticity. She always assumed less for herself; a lifetime of coming home to an empty apartment, a bottle of whiskey, maybe a dog. But not a long term commitment.

She’s never really pictured a life where she has someone by her side every night. Never thought herself completely deserving of it. It’s quite the contrast to the picture Ava’s been painting all summer. 

Ava’s been nothing if not supportive and encouraging, never one to miss an opportunity to encourage Sara to aim for higher and give herself credit for her accomplishments. 

So even if Sara doesn’t quite believe she’ll ever have a partner for the end of all eternity, she still finds herself daydreaming about the stability of a life with someone like Ava. Someone who can laugh at her dumb jokes and call her out on her bullshit. Someone to go grocery shopping with, their hands half overlapping on the push bar of the cart despite it being an inefficient and ineffective way to steer through the can-cladded aisles. 

That’s where they are now - in some grocery store a solid forty minute drive from the campground, stocking up on fridge essentials and party supplies for Quentin’s birthday in just a few days. This whole vacation was designed for the expressed purpose of making this celebration unforgettable, and now the two of them are tasked with collecting food for the ultimate final cookout, picking up the cake, and gathering anything and everything to ensure the summer ends with a blast.

Mostly this entails following Laurel’s extensive and organized shopping list while Sara tries to sneak fun incidentals into the cart and Ava shoots her admonishing looks. 

It’s all incredibly ordinary. With anyone else by Sara’s side, this would be banal. An inconsequential and easily forgettable experience, lost to better memories within days. But because Sara’s with Ava, it’s a blast. 

Every experience with Ava seems to be.

“Sara,” Ava says, and for a minute Sara can’t breathe. Her name sounds different when Ava says it. When it’s coming from Ava’s mouth. 

“Earth to Sara?” Ava calls, when Sara neglects to respond. 

Sara shoots a charming smile to Ava, hoping it’ll cover her lack of attention. Or, rather, her apparent lack of attention. Truthfully, it’s more of Sara devoting too much attention to the little things, like how Ava says her name. Like how Ava has her eyebrows shot up to her hairline in something that’s probably meant to look like annoyance but looks a lot more like amusement. 

“What?”

Ava gestures at the watermelons in front of them. “Help me pick?”

Sara doesn’t know shit about what makes a good watermelon and she gets the distinct impression Ava already assumes this, but here’s Ava, asking for her advice with grocery shopping in spite of this. 

Sara accepts the request gratefully, making a show of picking up different melons, testing them for weight, knocking on them in a way she remembers her dad doing when they were younger, before she finally settles on one at random. It seems Ava thinks it’s satisfactory because she grins and nods as Sara puts it in the cart. 

It’s a little thing, Ava’s grin. A should-be-insignificant thing. Having it directed at Sara though, it’s monumental.

It doesn’t feel like she picked out a piece of fruit.

It feels like she hung the moon.

Sara, Ava thinks, is annoying. She’s Laurel’s kid sister, desperate to intrude on time with the older kids. She’s boastful and a rule-breaker and a general pain in Ava’s side. 

She’s all of these things, wrapped up in the perfect package which Ava can’t help but be smitten by. 

They’re not kids anymore, running around Starling Campground in bare feet and ratty tee shirts. Ava and Laurel aren’t camped out with a thick stack of summer reading, and Sara isn’t scrounging the woods for bugs to bring back and hide under Laurel’s pillow. 

They’re not middle schoolers with hair cut into edgy bangs and an arm full of rubber Livestrong bracelets. Sara isn’t carrying on about some boy who won’t give her the light of day, and Ava isn’t shooing people away from her for the summer so she can have some time completely alone, away from her parents and family and people who think they know her but don’t.

They’re no longer in high school. Ava isn’t just Laurel’s best friend, pretending to tolerate Sara as high school begins, even though she adores her and wants to be her confidante. Sara doesn’t have a hole in her chest because she’s just broken up with her first girlfriend and swears no one can really understand what she’s going through.

They’re Sara and Ava, holding hands in the grocery store and laughing for the entire car ride home and unloading bags of food in perfect sync. 

They’re perfect.

Which means, of course, Ava starts to get worried. 

At the beginning of this all, Laurel warned Ava of her propensity for jumping head first into things once there’s a connection, of opening up and giving her all, even when the other person doesn’t give the same. 

Even when there’s an expiration date approaching at lightning speed. 

She thinks she should try to pull back. _It would be for the best,_ Ava tries to reason with herself. Spending every second with Sara is going to lead to some serious withdrawal symptoms when she gets back home in a week.

But it’s hard to reason with herself when every moment with Sara makes Ava glow. She feels warm. At peace. Like she fits perfectly into the world here, in a way she hasn’t felt the past who-knows-how-many years of working in an industry filled with soul-sucking bigwigs instead of genuine people. 

She and Sara just _fit_. Ava fits here, surrounded by friends and family and memories. She fits with Sara, curled around her at night and wedged into conversations. She snaps into place in such a way it doesn’t feel like she’s only been here for the summer. It seems like this was the path she was always meant to be on.

It scares the hell out of her. 

Because, yes, Sara is annoying at times. She’s boastful and a rule-breaker and used to be a pain in Ava’s side. But she’s also genuinely proud of Ava every time she opens her mouth. She’s interested in everything about Ava, in her wants and dreams and the serial killer trivia she knows too much about. Sara makes Ava feel desired and wanted in a way she hasn’t experienced before. 

Call it naivety for Ava to think this after such a short time, but it’s almost meant to be.

And it’s not really such a short time, Ava tells herself as Sara shelves a few cans of baked beans. It’s years of old connections combined with a shuttle launch into new intimacy. The bones were already there. Now they’re reinforced. 

It’s terrifying for Ava, who usually tries not to open too far up lest she fall off the deep edge. She’s probably going to drown in this. Drown in Sara. And then ruin it all.

Even as it feels like she’s going down without a life vest, Ava likes to think the true depth of her feelings are hidden from the rest of the world. Save for Laurel, that is.

No one is really surprised that Laurel knows something is up. She knows Ava so well, understands her sister even better. It doesn’t take much for her to conclude there’s more to this relationship than has been disclosed.

It’s really been an entire summer of Laurel observing Sara and Ava with a quirked brow. Knowing her best friend, Ava is confident Laurel has catalogued each fake touch she thought was real, each look of love that seemed just a little too genuine, and, now that they’re dating, each “casual” moment which is indicative of something much deeper. 

The lovebirds fail to notice Laurel enter the cabin as they’re unpacking the remainder of the bags. They’re too busy being enamored with each other. Laurel stands at the threshold of her own cabin and watches the scene play out.

Sara stops on her way from the dining table to the refrigerator to press a kiss to the back of Ava’s neck as she rinses fruit in the sink. It’s a gentle press of lips, nothing too salacious, the movement more delicate than anything else. Laurel is pretty sure she’s never seen this level of tenderness from her sister. Sara’s much more the type for dramatic actions. She swoops in with big moves and public displays of affection for the purpose of showing someone off. 

She doesn’t stop halfway through a task when someone lightly tugs on her belt loops. Unless, it seems, Ava is doing the tugging.

Ava catches Sara just as she reaches the handle of the fridge and pulls her back with one gentle curl of her fingers. There’s not even a second of fight in Sara; she allows herself to come face to face with Ava for a kiss. 

Ava can feel condensation from the container Sara’s holding dripping down her arm, but she can’t bring herself to care. Not when she’s kissing Sara in a way that makes her never want to kiss anyone else again. Ava’s hands are on the small of Sara’s back, holding her in close, like she doesn’t want to risk her sneaking away for even the second it takes to open the fridge. They’re breathing each other in, not expecting any leering eyes.

When Laurel lets the front door close, Sara springs up and away from Ava in shock. She shoots an angry look at her sister. 

“Wow, creep. Stalk much?”

“Make out with my best friend much?” Laurel shoots right back. 

Ava turns red and busies herself with putting away the few remaining items, preparing for the inevitable upcoming talk with Laurel. Laurel’s the queen of knowing looks and passive aggressive comments and _actual_ aggressive confrontations, so Ava expects the lecture to come.

Laurel has yet to find a moment to terrorize Ava about their recent change in relationship status, and with how insistent Laurel’s been all summer regarding the authenticity of Ava’s feelings, Ava knows there’s a comment to be made. Laurel stands tapping her foot from across the living room, and Ava looks up to the ceiling and wishes for some reprieve. 

It’s not that Ava doesn’t love talking to Laurel about her feelings - they’ve always been open, genuine, and entirely without judgement when it came to each other - but she knows if Laurel pushes too far, she’ll go spilling her guts, and once the floodgates open, Ava will no longer be able to deny the truth she’s been trying to shove away. The truth that she’s a little bit in love with Sara. Maybe more than a little bit, if Ava is being entirely honest, but at this point she hasn’t let herself fully think the first part, so she isn’t anywhere near ready to confront the second. 

Once Laurel gets wind though, the entire plan will go out the window. 

Laurel’s posture makes it clear she’s waiting for alone time with Ava. Sara must get the message, because as Ava washes her hands to buy herself some time, Sara kisses her cheek, then darts out of the cabin to give the duo their privacy.

After drying her hands, Ava turns to Laurel, fully expecting her to drop the ball with a hard truth. It’s been her tactic all summer. For the majority of their lives, really. 

Instead, Laurel surprises Ava by asking if she wants to go on a hike. A no pressure activity, just the two of them. Not an interrogation on feelings. 

Not for the first half of it, anyway. The beginning thirty minutes of their hike involves their normal banter, talking, telling stories. Laurel gushes in an uncharacteristic way about Tommy for a solid third of it. How having him here is making the end of her vacation even better, how she’s thinking of bringing up the moving-in-together conversation soon. 

It’s when they’re stopping to admire an interesting plant that Laurel changes the subject to what she’s so clearly dying to talk about.

“So,” Laurel starts, “you and Sara. How’s it going?”

“Smooth transition.”

Laurel rolls her eyes. “Come on. Just because it’s my sister doesn’t mean we can’t talk about it.”

Suddenly, the ground looks exceedingly interesting. Ava stares down at it, focusing on a tree root breaking up from the trail rather than think about the feelings Laurel is undoubtedly going to expose.

Laurel hip checks Ava, gives a look which says _dish_. 

When Ava doesn’t offer up anything extra, Laurel tries again, this time a bit more forceful.

“You’re sleeping with my sister,” Laurel states in plain language. 

This time Ava huffs. “Do you really want to talk about that?”

“Not about that part particularly. But you are.”

“I’m not sleeping with her.” Laurel taps the side of her neck in the spot where Ava’s hickey has finally disappeared, and Ava sighs. “We’re,” she tries not to hesitate, “dating.”

“Except you're going to break up at the end of the week. So, really, it’s just an excuse to be sleeping together.” Ava looks away. “Unless it’s more than that.”

Ava shakes her head, more at herself than Laurel, because _of course_ it’s more than that. Of course it is, but, also, it isn’t. It’s meant to be casual, and Ava isn’t casual. 

She’s afraid. She’s afraid of this ending in a few days time and of it lasting longer. Of having someone who means so much to her. Of that person being Sara.

“Please don’t make me say it,” Ava whispers, a futile last attempt at deflecting from her feelings. It’s not going to work; she knows Laurel already knows. Laurel was aware of the extent of this before Ava herself. Before the two parties actually involved had any idea the depth of their own affections. 

“You’re in love with her.”

“I didn’t mean to. I wasn’t supposed to fall for her. God, why do I do this?”

She means _why do I get too close and open up?_ She means _why do I fall for someone who is wrong for me on paper?_ She means _why do I put myself in a position to be heartbroken?_

“You don’t.” Ava pulls back when Laurel says this. “This isn’t something you’ve done before. I haven’t seen you fall for someone. Not like this.”

Laurel’s telling the truth. In the time she’s been Ava’s best friend, she’s been privy to just about every variety of relationship-Ava. She’s seen Ava grow attached to someone for the attention they give. She’s seen Ava latch to a person who is perfect in theory, even if they’re standoffish. Laurel has witnessed the opposite, when Ava keeps herself at bay, prevents herself from falling for someone because she’s terrified of her feelings. What Laurel hasn’t seen, however, is her best friend in such a natural partnership.

She’s never seen Ava so at ease and obviously herself. It’s a rarity when Ava isn’t overthinking and posturing in some way to seem perfect. She doesn’t do this around Sara.

Ava doesn’t work too hard to impress, doesn’t hide the things she thinks will make her seem less attractive. She isn’t showering Sara in gifts to make sure she stays interested, and she definitely isn’t going out of her way to make it so Sara needs her. 

It’s the most organic Ava has ever been in a relationship. Regardless of how it started, it doesn’t change where she’s at now.

“Ava, you have to tell her.” Laurel is starting to sound like a broken record.

“I know. I know I do. But it’s all going to blow up in my face. I didn’t tell her I felt like this when she agreed to date, and it’s way too much now.”

“That’s not true.”

“Be real! It’s Sara. Her longest relationship in the past five years has been _this o ne_ _._ And it was almost entirely fake.”

She doesn’t mean to say it like this. 

Ava wouldn’t be caught dead thinking Sara isn’t someone built for a real relationship. God knows enough people have thought it about Sara - hell, Sara’s thought it about herself - but Ava’s never held the same sentiment. She’s always known Sara to be more caring than she lets on, capable of enduring in love, but _this_ situation, this particular agreement of short term falsities to even shorter term frivolity makes it impossible for Ava to look through a lasting frame.

How this can lead to anything but an early demise is beyond Ava, especially when she considers how it began.

“It isn’t fake.”

Ava doesn’t know why Laurel is arguing with her. Sure, Sara is soft and caring and affectionate with her. She’s giving more than Ava has ever known Sara to give. But her own insecurities are getting in the way. 

Ava knows she’s a lot of things. She’s bossy and calculated, sometimes cold and off putting. When she’s not those things, she goes full circle and becomes too much. Overbearing or over attentive or plain needy. Why Sara of all people would want any of that for the long term is incomprehensible.

“It was fake,” Ava argues.

“But it isn’t now. This is real. I can see how real it is.”

“Why are you so insistent on this? It’s not like it’s going to last forever.”

Laurel shrugs. “Maybe it could.”

“Pretty sure marrying your best friend’s little sister is off limits.”

“So we’re talking about marriage now?” Laurel smirks, and Ava shoves her gently. 

“You’re the one who said it could last forever. Girl Code violations and all.”

A mosquito buzzes in Ava’s ear. She swats her hand at it. When she looks back at Laurel, she’s sighing.

“Because I love you, I’m going to spell this out for you. Sara has clearly fallen for yo-”

“Did she say this to you?”

“Not in so many words - hey, don’t make that face, just listen to me. Sara is crazy about you. Daddy and I have been talking about it all summer. You love her, and she loves you, and none of the rest of it matters. But you need to tell her so it doesn’t end. Don’t do what you always do when you get afraid and pull away.”

To protest would be in vain, but Ava really wishes Laurel would get out of her head. 

While Ava acknowledges she probably needed someone to be this direct with her, she still feels exposed. 

“What if I mess this all up and lose you both?”

Ava’s barely said the words before Laurel is enveloping her in a hug. Ava melts into the embrace.

“You’d never lose me. Whether you end up with Sara or not, I’ll always be your sister.”

After Laurel’s talk, Ava is both relieved and doubly stressed. 

_“Please be honest with Sara before the summer ends. I want you to be happy. Let yourself be happy,”_ Laurel had said. Ava tries to take the words to heart.

She feels like she keeps running herself in circles, caught in a self-perpetuating loop of _if I never take any risks, nothing good will happen_ and _if I take a risk, something bad could happen_. 

It’s Zari who sees Ava’s mind going into overdrive. 

Laurel’s gone off with Tommy and the rest of the boys and Sara is nowhere to be found, so Ava is sitting on the edge of the dock, splashing her feet in the water and shaking her head at her own cowardice. Zari spots Ava and joins her on the splintery wood.

It’s Zari who gets Ava to crack open the truth to someone other than Laurel for the first time all summer. She makes one easy jab of _stress leads to premature wrinkling,_ and suddenly, Ava is telling all. 

She comes clean about the origins of her and Sara’s relationship, how it progressed a little, and then became all encompassing. It’s strangely freeing to reveal the secrets Ava’s kept close to her chest all summer. As vulnerable as it is, it makes everything a little more manageable, like verbalizing the truth takes away the uncertainty Ava’s built surrounding it.

As Ava mentions each sly touch of hand in which she tried not show her true colors, Zari’s eyes grow wider. Her mouth parts into a little O, and despite feeling like Ava ought to be embarrassed by this tell all, she becomes oddly confident, because Zari seems vaguely _impressed_ at this summer’s events.

“First of all, I didn’t think you’d have it in you. You’ve always been a terrible liar.”

“Am not.” 

Zari raises a perfectly manicured brow and, really, how is Ava going to argue with that?

Ava concedes, waves her hand so Zari can go on.

“I don’t understand what the problem is. Like phones exist? You have all the technology to do this long distance.”

And Zari is missing the point. The problem here isn’t the distance. It isn’t the possibility of living in different places. It isn’t liking Sara or caring for Sara or even loving Sara. The problem, Ava thinks, isn’t Sara at all. It’s herself. It’s the way this could hit the fan because she’s in too deep. 

Even _if_ Sara wanted to do something longer than the summer, even _if_ she wanted more than casual companionship and easy intimacy, there’s no way her feelings could match the depth of Ava’s. Inevitably, Ava will become too attached and scare Sara away, or she’ll fail at balancing her love life and work life - the one she doesn’t even like, mind you - and this will just be another in a stretch of failed temporary relationships.

Best to let this come to the end at it’s predestined date. At least this way, Ava won’t be able to blame herself.

She tells Zari how terrified she is of messing everything up. She says, “I’ll be the one to ruin things when I go back to real life. I don’t want to mess up everything with Sara. If we end as agreed, it’ll be amicable. Then I won’t have the chance to ruin it.”

Zari doesn’t buy it. “I’m not convinced.”

“Not convinced?”

“You’re not worried you’ll mess this up.”

Ava turns up her palms in a questioning gesture. 

“Okay,” Zari admits, “maybe you are worried you’ll mess it up, but that’s not the primary issue at stake here.”

“Do tell.”

“The sass isn’t necessary.” Zari wags her finger once before continuing. “The problem is that you’ve never been in love like this before.” 

Ava wants to tell Zari she’s delusional. She’s had long term girlfriends before. It’s been such a short time span in which this adoration has developed, how could it possibly be deeper than any other love she’s felt? How could a love for someone who used to irritate her to no end be more intense than all of Ava’s previous experiences?

Zari steals the words right out of Ava’s mouth. 

“I get it. Sure, you get attached to people fast and commit once you open up to them. You fall fast, but you don’t fall in _love._

“And I know what you’re thinking. Sara used to run around and do all her tomfoolery, how could she be the one who gets you like this? I don’t have the answer, but she is that person for you. It’s not that you think you’ll mess it up in general, it’s that you’re feeling deeper than you’ve ever let yourself feel before, and you’re afraid of taking that on. If it ends when you go home, you can’t blame yourself for being too afraid to dive all the way in.”

Ava’s jaw drops.

“Am I close?” Zari sounds surprisingly unperturbed for someone who just served Ava her entire psyche on a plate.

“Are you psychic?”

Zari laughs. “Hardly. I’ve been to a lot of therapy.”

A chuckle escapes despite Ava. For the umpteenth time this summer she’s been read like a book; Zari verbalized everything she’s been too afraid to reveal.

Like a tornado, this love came seemingly out of nowhere, and now it has the chance to spiral into an F5, demolishing both her heart and Sara’s in its path of destruction should something go wrong. Looking back, there were signs - swirling storm clouds of affection and appreciation before the surge of real love came - but for Ava, it’s as if sirens started ringing on a beautiful sunny day. 

The real fear comes from the unpredictability of it all. If Ava gives up control, really lets go and leans into Sara, she doesn’t know where she’ll land after it all. She’s never experienced an attachment so profound. Given how closely Ava guards her heart and how she maintains strict overview of everything in her life, it’s not entirely unexpected.

Now she’s faced with a choice. Run from her feelings, let this end, and never learn what true joy could come, or open her heart, let everything she’s been staving off come flooding in, and be faced with the most powerful venture of her life.

“Well, Counselor Zari, any advice?”

“You know how people say no risk, no reward?” Ava nods. “Don’t you think love is worth the risk?”

When Sara grants Ava and Laurel their one-on-one time, she disappears for a bit. She goes to the hammocks she and Charlie strung up earlier in the summer and takes up residence in the lowest one.

There’s music playing from her phone as she contemplates her situation.

She’s sure Laurel is giving Ava a lecture; whether positive or negative content, Sara doesn’t know. Laurel has never been the type to hold back on her opinion, especially when it’s disapproving, so if she feels critical of the way Sara and Ava were being soft with each other in the kitchen, Ava is no doubt hearing about it right now.

Sara crosses her fingers that Laurel is choosing to be gentle this time. She doesn’t want Ava to be swayed by Laurel’s critiques.

It’s not as if Ava isn’t capable of standing her own ground - quite the opposite really, as Sara’s witnessed Ava be steadfast her whole life - but Ava is known to seek approval from those she loves. If Laurel condemns their relationship, there’s little chance she’ll be willing to stay with Sara, especially once Sara reveals what’s been going on inside her head. 

The intrusive thoughts Sara’s been explicitly denying all summer start bubbling up again. Thoughts of a future, of a long term. 

What she and Ava have right now is nothing short of amazing. It’s exactly the kind of thing Sara would have hoped for when she was younger - a low pressure relationship with someone who makes her feel like a better version of herself. It’s even more incredible because it’s Ava. How Sara could be lucky enough to be with someone she secretly loved when she was sixteen, she isn’t quite sure. The last thing she wants to do is ruin it.

Ruining things is what Sara thinks she is best at. It’s unavoidable. The how of things Sara is unsure of, but she knows one way or another, this will go downhill.

She pictures it going like this:

Version A: Sara lets this slip through her fingers. She lets Ava pull away at the end of her summer and go back to her comfort zone of business meetings and an empty apartment. They stay in contact as they usually do: social media and through updates from Laurel. They run into each other at the next extended family event - Laurel’s engagement shower or Nate’s birthday or the next vacation - and spend the whole time wondering what could have been. Eventually Ava finds someone who is a better match for her and Sara will regret doing nothing.

Or there’s version B. 

Sara could do something she rarely does and disclose the true extent of her feelings. It’s brave and exposing and something which goes against her usual tactic of denying all feelings. She could tell Ava she thinks she’s in love with her, and she knows it’s not what the plan was, but she wants to be with Ava, for longer than summer. (Forever really, not like she’d say it.) 

They’ll figure it out and it’ll be great for a little bit, and then everything will turn. Ava will realize Sara is herself. She’ll realize she deserves better than someone who works at a gym and didn’t finish college, and even though Sara knows Ava has never cared about any of those things, wouldn’t she be better matched to some suit? It’s the reason her best friend is someone like Laurel. Ava will come to her senses, and they’ll end things, leaving Sara heartbroken.

Damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t.

But after this many weeks of acting like she cared deeply for Ava, then realizing how she wasn’t acting at all, Sara knows she has to bring this up. She can’t let Ava be her what-might’ve-been. Not because she was too afraid to be open. 

If Sara keeps this up and they go their separate ways at the end of the summer, she’ll be lost in Ava’s absence. For every good thing which happens in her life, Sara will be missing the one person with whom she wants to share it. She’ll have the urge to text Ava when she hears a dumb joke, will want to send screenshots of things that come across her socials. Every little thing will remind her of Ava.

And it’s because Sara loves her. She loves how Ava will sometimes look annoyed at Sara’s goofiness, but then it’ll melt away to something soft. She loves Ava’s wit and obsessive interests and her kindness. She adores how she can talk to Ava for hours upon hours and somehow no time will seem to pass at all. 

And she’s beautiful. She’s beautiful in camping clothes, wrinkly from being hang-dried on lines behind the cabins. She looks stunning in the fancy attire she uses at work. Even in the pajamas Sara loves to tease about does Ava look wonderful, especially when it’s early in the morning and Ava’s completely relaxed by sleep, laying with Sara in her arms.

When it comes down to it, Sara knows she doesn’t really have a choice at all. It’s tell Ava or live forever with regrets, and Sara’s not really in the business of regretting. 

By the time Sara comes back down from her hammock session, there’s a crowd of people surrounding the grills. A low smolder floats off the charcoals where Quentin is standing turning corn cobs. Various other friends and family are around, laughing and talking and relishing in the last few days of summer.

Sara slides up to Ava and fits herself under Ava’s arm, wrapping her own around Ava’s waist. She glances a look up at Ava, who is looking down at her.

“Where’d you sneak off to?” Ava asks.

“Nowhere, just been thinking.”

“You, thinking? Sounds dangerous.” Ava smiles as she teases, before pressing a gentle kiss to Sara’s forehead. Sara tries to ignore how the small action has her warm from head to toe. 

“Thinking about you, actually.”

Ava’s eyebrows shoot to her hairline. “All good things I hope.”

“The best.”

Sara’s not sure how long they spend looking at each other. She’s vaguely aware of the stupid and loving expression on her face, but she doesn’t have it in her to hide it. Not after what she’s spent the afternoon deciding. 

Tommy, however, has no qualms about calling Sara out for her tender expression. 

He’s a few feet away, hand grabbing Laurel’s, when he makes a quip about how he never thought he’d see Sara all lovey-dovey. 

It causes Sara and Ava to pull apart abruptly, and they both stutter through some excuses trying to cover the obvious affection they hold for each other.

In the way comments about their singledom spread like wildfire the first week of summer, now everyone seems to have a comment about how sweet they look together, about how they’re a perfect match, about a _campground romance_ _,_ which frankly isn’t even notable because Laurel and Tommy spent every summer at this same place and Charlie and Astra have been linked for weeks now. Aunt Dot makes a loud declaration of the two of them being in love, and Sara and Ava both turn so red they don’t know what to do with each other. 

If they thought the annoyance of the family was too much when they were single, now there’s unwanted attention in the opposite direction. It's like everyone is threatening to expose their true dispositions before Sara and Ava have the chance to reveal themselves.

Aunt Dot calls Ava over to whisper something. In her absence, Laurel saunters up to Sara.

“So, in love, huh?” Laurel bumps Sara’s shoulder lightly.

“That’s all Dot projecting.”

“You got awfully red for someone who isn’t.”

Sara rolls her eyes, but the creeping edges of blushing heat are still showing at the neckline of her shirt, so she doesn’t have much high ground.

Laurel doesn't waste any time before jumping to the point. “Do you love her?” Like she even needs verbal confirmation.

“Come on, Laurel.” 

“I know you do.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“Don’t be like that.” Laurel shakes her head, before she goes into obvious lecture mode. _You’d think I don’t already have a mother,_ Sara thinks. “I’m not going to tell you what to do, but-” 

Sara laughs, harshly and suddenly. “Sorry, have you met yourself? You’ve been telling me what to do my entire life.”

“Just don’t be stupid about this. I don’t want to be the annoying big sister, but if you’re dumb, I’ll have to be.” 

“You’re being annoying right now.”

“Don’t hurt my best friend, okay?”

“There it is.” 

Laurel pushes Sara’s shoulder again before growing serious. “And don’t hurt yourself.”

It’s at this moment Ava returns. She hugs Sara from behind. 

“You’re really on it with the sermons today, Laurel.” Ava says. Sara grins, and Laurel pouts.

“Someone has to be.” 

It’s another night of sitting by the fire and waving off mosquitoes and telling stupid stories. It’s another night of Sara and Ava keeping hands intertwined all evening. 

They look at each other wearing goofy grins, walk with arms linked back towards their cabin. Outside their respective homes, they do the same dance they’ve been doing for over a week now. Ava makes up some wary excuse as to why Sara should come over to hers and Sara obliges, following Ava in for a few minutes which they know will turn into an overnight stay. 

As Ava sits on the bed to take off her shoes, Sara stands across the room watching. The now familiar affection she gets whenever thinking of Ava blossoms in her chest. Sara just can’t believe she gets to come home with this incredible woman. It’s nice to be hers, even if what she wants to say tonight has the chance of changing everything.

“What?” Ava asks, in a singsong type of voice. Sara knows she’s asking _why are you looking at me like that_? _Why are you grinning at me taking off my shoes?_ Secretly, Ava’s also thinking _I’m nothing special, I don’t deserve this kind of look_. “Whaa-t?” Ava asks again when Sara fails to respond.

Her response comes in the form of an action. Sara comes face to face with Ava, gently cupping Ava’s jaw in her hand before tilting it up and kissing her. Ava smiles into the kiss, letting Sara’s answer speak for itself. 

Ava slots her fingers into Sara’s hair, uses it as a grip by which to pull Sara into her lap. Sara’s legs straddle her hips, the pressure on her lap as comforting as it is sensual. They’re in this position for a while, Ava’s hands pulling Sara in by the small of her back while Sara licks into her mouth. 

Sara wants to do this forever. She would do this forever, if given the chance. 

Sara wishes, more than anything, they could freeze-frame this moment. This summer. This night. She wants to live in it until the end.

If only time could just slow down before they have to figure everything out. Before it’s time to discuss the real world and the real world consequences of their actions. Everything has just felt so right, and it’s about to get so complicated.

Ava moans into Sara’s open mouth, and her hips jump in response. Sara’s not sure she remembers kissing ever feeling like this. Her whole body is on fire from Ava, like she’s being consumed from the inside out. 

There’s a part of Sara, an exceedingly loud part of her, which knows this means something bigger than she’s been willing to really admit. It’s bigger because it’s Ava. Because she’s fallen for someone who gets her so completely it feels like this was destined to happen.

She loves this.

She loves Ava.

She’s going to tell her. Sara is ready to take the leap.

But when Sara pulls back to see Ava’s eyes dark with intent, she figures it can wait, just a little longer while. 

Before everything changes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please please don’t hate me too much for ending here (I know some of y’all were ready for the big reveal but I felt it really important to get into Sara and Ava’s headspace) BUT I’m going to make it up to y’all with next chapter when we’ll reach the point of max tension and everything gets out in the open! Feel free to yell at me in the comments about how much these two love each other or about anything else; I love love love hearing your thoughts!!!
> 
> P.S. Thank you so much for everyone who has left your thoughts on all of the chapters!!! It makes me so warm and fuzzy and not at all articulate, but very very appreciative💖💖💖💖💖


	7. i don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily (i'm here to stay)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update a week earlier than has been regular for this fic?? I hope this makes up for the lack of things happening last chapter. Enjoy the end of this ride!
> 
> chapter title from I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz

Everything does change, but not in the way they expect.

At first, the night proceeds as planned. There’s touching and feelings, clothes pulled off and strewn on the floor. Words which are terrifying to reveal almost roll off Ava’s tongue at more than one point during the night and she’s reminded she _must_ talk to Sara. She needs to say it tonight or risk everything coming out at the exact inopportune moment.

They’re laying in their afterglow when Ava is ready to talk. As she goes to open her mouth, the blaring ring of a phone pulls her entirely off kilter. Ava whips her hand towards the side table, before realizing the device isn’t there. 

“Who the fuck is calling me this late?” Ava grumbles, fishing through the clothes on the floor before she finds her phone in her pants pocket and silences it without so much as peering at the caller ID. It doesn’t matter who it is; Ava is planning on talking to only one person tonight, and no incessant ringtone is going to distract her from that. 

The distraction falls out of her mind as quickly as it came on. As Ava slides herself back under the comforter, Sara burrows into her side. It places her in the perfect position for Ava to place a kiss to the top of Sara’s head, to which Sara responds with a sigh.

Ava’s heart sings a tune with each beat it thrums against her ribcage. Lub-dub. _Love you_.

Sara must be able to hear it.

“Sara?”

“Hm?” Sara tilts her head up slightly to get a better look at Ava’s face. She presses a kiss to Ava’s chest.

“So I want to talk to you about something serious.”

“You? Serious? Never would’ve guessed.” Sara chuckles as she teases. Ava responds with a poke to Sara’s side, to which Sara squirms uncomfortably, before relaxing back against Ava’s chest. “What’s on your mind?”

A nervous exhale escapes Ava. She tries to cover it with a smile, but her body stiffens unconsciously. Ava’s doing the thing where she tries not to let anyone sense she’s in a position of weakness. It happens most often when she’s about to break a rule or reveal something she’s been trying to keep a secret, but Ava’s certain Sara notices the change in her posture.

She definitely picks up on it, because Sara starts soothing Ava with little touches. She plays with the ends of Ava’s hair and traces the lines of Ava’s collarbone, waiting for her to find the courage to speak in something other than incoherent babbles.

“That feels good,” Ava whispers, as Sara continues with her ministrations, “Trying to calm me down?”

“Is it working?”

Ava nods. It is. Sara has this way about her, knowing how to deal with her anxieties in whatever form they come in. It calms her enough to feel secure in saying what she’s been thinking. This has to mean something to Sara. It must.

“I know when we started all of this it wasn’t supposed to be serious.” Sara hums in acknowledgement. “But I think we can agree this summer has been amazing. This past week especially.”

“Well,” Sara smiles, “I’m certainly not complaining. Not after what we just did.”

Ava rolls her eyes. “Okay, horndog.” She goes to get back on track, but the words stop flowing. Is it better to dive right in or to ease into the conversation? Is there a way of approaching this that would make Sara run? Ava runs through the simulations, but there isn’t a predictable answer.

“Babe, what are you trying to say?” Sara leans up on an elbow so she’s looking directly into Ava’s eyes.

“I’m trying to say that-”

Once again, the trill of Ava’s ringtone calls out to interrupt the moment. Ava mumbles complaints as she scrambles towards the ground in search of the phone for a second time.

“I’m so sorry. I thought I silenced this.” Ava reaches the phone just in time for the ringer to go dead.

She flips the mute tab on the side, before placing the phone face up on the side table. The distraction is not what she needs right now.

“Sorry again,” Ava mutters, turning back towards Sara. 

“You don’t need to apologize.” Sara grabs hold of Ava’s hands, willing her back into their conversation. It’s at this moment Ava’s phone lights up. Sara nods towards it. “Popular tonight, huh?” 

Ava flips the phone over without peering over her shoulder. Whoever is calling her can wait. If it were really important, someone from the family would march in across the campground. Who else could require her urgent attention?

“You can take the call, Ava. I really don’t mind. We have all night to talk. All week, really.”

Famous last words. 

When Ava unlocks her phone, she comes to realize a few things simultaneously. One: she hasn’t so much as glanced at the screen since that very morning. Two: the calls she’s been silencing were from her boss. And three: something is very, very wrong.

There’s seven missed calls, a handful of texts, too many emails to be considered acceptable, and several voicemails, all of which Ava is sure contain nothing good. 

The color drains from her face, and her heart sinks into her stomach.

“What’s wrong?” Sara wears concern as Ava lifts the phone to her ear to listen to the voicemails. She gets her answer a second later when the thunderous echo of a man’s voice calls through the phone.

_Sharpe, this is absolutely unacceptable. You’re one step away from being fired. I don’t know what you’ve been doing the past week and a half, but I didn’t sign up for my financial head to be M.I.A.. If you would have bothered to read an email in the past five days, you’d know it’s imperative you be in the office tomorrow. You better be dead or in the hospital. I’m not kidding._

Ava sighs, clicks to the next voicemail.

_I don’t know what game you think you’re playing, but if the goal is to give me a heart attack, you’re succeeding. I need you live and in office at 2 P.M. for this pitch. I don’t know why you haven’t answered any of my emails, but this is not what we agreed to when you said summer off. You are supposed to be available. Get available and be in the conference tomorrow afternoon or consider yourself out of a job._

Another message follows.

_I cannot be any clearer. There’s a flight which departs 8 A.M. your time to get you in Chicago just before the pitch. You better be on it._

They keep coming, mixes of expletives, threats to Ava’s life, explanations of why she must be in live attendance of some huge investment meeting the following afternoon. 

In truth, Ava _has_ been absent from work. The entire day was spent away from thoughts of banking and finance; it was focused on Sara. Grocery shopping with her, chatting with Laurel and Zari, spending the evening working up the courage to make a huge love declaration.

The past week, she’s hardly even opened her inbox, not expecting it to include anything dire. 

Sure, Ava’s been slacking, but she doesn’t care about this job; she _hates_ this position. It’s been draining her soul, and this summer has only served to prove how much Ava wants out. She doesn’t want to be out of a paycheck, but transitioning out of this practice was imminent. 

Ava didn’t intend it to be _this_ imminent. 

She has no backup plan, and while yes, Ava does have savings, she always has a plan. Risking her job at this point, this is not something Ava can handle. Leaps of faith are nice and all, but there’s no safety net laying in front of her.

Shuffling through her emails, Ava sees the threads and emails chains with progressively aggressive subject lines only to realize: she’s fucked.

There’s an investment pitch the following afternoon, one which came on suddenly and without warning, an _incredible opportunity_ for the banking firms. A pitch which requires the attendance of the Head of Financial Planning. Her boss has made it clear, conferencing in is not an option for this, not if Ava wants to keep her job.

Ava babbles, trying to articulate what the voicemails said. And what this means.

That she has to be at the airport in the morning, on a flight back to Chicago. The airport which is a three hour drive away. 

And what this really means: she has to leave Sara. 

Tears prickle at the corner of Ava’s eyes, and she blinks them away the best they can. A stray one rolls down her cheek. Sara watches it fall. 

“Sara, I don’t want to go, but I have to.”

“You’ll have to leave just after four. That’s crazy. You can’t do that. It’s just a few hours from now.”

“What choice do I have? I’ll get fired if I don’t.” Desperation creeps into Ava’s voice. It rises in pitch as she struggles to explain. 

The absolute last thing Ava wants is to hop on a plane, not when she was just about to proclaim her feelings to Sara, not when she was just about to ask to do this long term. The way Sara is looking at her kills. There’s a flash of hurt hidden under the exasperation Sara’s voice wears.

“So get fired. Come on. You hate this job.”

Ava shakes her head. Yes, she does hate this job, but she can’t leave an entire team without a plan, not when her own negligence is the reason she’s in this situation to begin with. Had she been more attentive, had she checked her email, Ava would have known about this further in advance. But she didn’t.

“You don’t get it. People are relying on me to show up. I have to be there.”

 _"I'm_ relying on you. _My dad_ is relying on you. You’re supposed to be here to celebrate him-” Sara swallows hard, then glances up. Ava can see glossiness forming from tears she is undoubtedly trying to hold back. 

“I know, but he’ll understand. It’s been an amazing summer, to have me here at all was a dream. He said so himself.”

“We’re supposed to have another week,” Sara whispers, just barely loud enough for Ava to hear. Her voice cracks at the end.

It’s the crack which really does Ava in. Tears spill over the edge, and she scrubs at them with the back of her hands. “I don’t know what you want me to do. Quit my job for another week?”

It’s harsh and it’s not what she means to say, but it’s what comes out. 

The logical, good-employee side of Ava’s mind is at battle with the part of herself which wants nothing more than to stay with Sara. And she doesn’t want it to be another week. That’s the worst part of all. She hasn’t had the chance to tell Sara what she wants: a lifetime.

“Quit your job for you, Ava. You hate it. This summer is the happiest you’ve been in forever, and now you’re just leaving to go back to a world you despise?”

They’re both getting emotional, voices rising in misunderstanding and hurt. Ava doesn’t even know why she’s fighting Sara; everything Sara is saying is true. 

She despises her job. This summer _is_ the happiest she’s been. But this is coming from someone whom Ava is likely going to leave in six days, so does it even matter?

“I shouldn’t have gotten so caught up in everything. I should’ve known about this,” Ava berates herself. If she’d known, she could’ve planned. She would have. She wouldn’t be having a last night like this. 

It’s a whole lot of should have, could have, would have.

Sara sighs before hanging her head into her hands. “Would you come back after?”

Ava doesn’t know what to say. On one end, it’s crazy to return. She was going to leave in a few days anyway, and it would be an extra flight, an extra six hours of driving, for just an extra few days. The rational side of Ava says it’s ridiculous. The rest of her says it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing more Ava desires than to soak up her time with Sara.

Ava hesitates in her answer, trying to figure out how to tell Sara of course she’ll come back without sounding like she’s lost her mind. Without sounding like she's in far deeper than Sara expects her to be. 

Sara misinterprets the hesitation. “It’s fine,” she says, sounding anything but fine.

“Sara.”

“No, it’s fine. I get it. This was going to end anyway, what difference does a few days make? You’ve been here all summer.” Sara stands the room to start pacing. She wrings her hands together. 

What was left of Ava’s stomach drops to the floor. If Sara is saying it like this, it must be true. Sara was always planning on them breaking up at the end of the week. She didn’t want this to be long term.

“Let’s go have you say goodbye to everyone before it’s too late,” Sara says.

“I don’t want to-”

“Yeah,” Sara sighs, dejectedly, “I know. But it’s your job. You can’t just get fired to hang out with us in the woods.” 

She sits back next to Ava on the bed, slides her hand over Ava’s thigh. Ava just shakes her head.

“Tonight wasn’t supposed to go like this.” 

“How was it supposed to go?” Sara asks, tilting her head.

And right on schedule, the phone rings. For a split second Ava considers launching it right into the nearest wall, but she gives into the incessant buzzing and picks up.

Ava answers, barks into the phone that she’ll be there, hangs her head as she’s chastised by a screaming voice. The castigation from Ava’s boss is so severe even Sara leans away from the phone. When Ava hangs up, her shoulders hang low, dipping down far enough to represent the way her mood has fallen.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

The conversation Ava planned on having is clearly not happening at this point in the evening. Her bravery has been beaten away by a vicious boss and cosmic intervention. Ava’s confidence is destroyed. She lets the situation take charge and does exactly what she told Laurel and Zari she wouldn’t do and runs from her feelings.

Tearful goodbyes are said under the glow of the stars. Various friends couple their goodbyes with understanding comments, while family takes another approach. Under his breath, Nate critiques Ava’s actions, once again working more than she should and letting her job take over the more important things in life. Aunt Dot gives much the same commentary, though she’s less chastising about it. 

Ava’s farewell to Laurel is shorter than it should be. Ava gets the sense Laurel is leaving a lot unsaid, her only question after Ava explains the situation being _what about you and Sara?_

Laurel whispers the question during their hug, and Ava shakes her head in response.

 _“_ We didn’t get the chance,” Ava explains, hushed into Laurel’s ear. 

The look Laurel wears is simultaneously of disappointment and pity. There’s a lecture hidden under there somewhere, but Ava doesn’t think she can take it right now. Having this summer cut short, having to leave before their planned goodbye, is painful enough without extraneous judgement.

Quentin is Ava’s final hug before heading to pack up her belongings. His hug is strong and steady; it wraps around Ava and penetrates all the way into her heart. 

“Thank you for bringing Sara so much happiness this summer. I hope to see it continue,” he says. As if Ava wasn’t already fragile enough. 

It’s not said with judgment, nor with pressure. It’s as genuine as Quentin has ever been, and Ava wishes more than anything that she could confirm his hope. But it would involve a heavy conversation with Sara, the conversation the universe and her boss seemed dead set on shutting down. 

Sara and Ava pack quietly, working around each other in sad silence. The elephant of Ava’s departure takes up so much of room there’s hardly enough room to breathe. 

By the time suitcases are filled, it’s past 1 A.M.. Ava tries to deny her exhaustion, claiming she’ll be fine to drive in the morning, and _can she and Sara please just savor their time together_ , but Sara plays the hero and insists Ava get some sleep. 

Sliding into bed this time feels awkward - stiff and uncomfortable. When Sara slots herself against Ava’s front, the bittersweet tragedy of the moment really hits. Ava swallows back the lump in her throat. 

At least she had this, Ava tells herself. This gift of an experience. A summer which was almost endless, filled to the brim with love and bliss. Really she’s lucky to have been Sara’s at all, even for a little while. For real life to get in the way isn’t nearly as shocking as it should be, but it’s still heartbreaking.

Ava holds Sara in her arms and chokes past the tightening in her throat. Eventually Sara’s breathing evens out, and Ava relaxes just slightly.

“Sara?” Ava sighs, quiet enough that she might not even hear it.

A half-asleep Sara stirs, letting out a hm of acknowledgement. Some blurred combination of words vaguely resembling _get some sleep_ falls from Sara’s mouth. Sara shifts again, cuddling even closer to Ava.

“I love you.”

There’s almost no volume to the phrase, mostly Ava’s mouth brushing the top of Sara’s hair as Ava mouths the words she wishes she said before all of this work got in the way and derailed their entire evening. Sara doesn’t respond, save for a slight twitch of her legs, a signal that she’s crossed back into sleep. 

Ava mouths the phrase again, pulling Sara even tighter into her embrace. She falls asleep with the words on her lips.

Morning comes far too soon. It’s not even morning, technically just before dawn. Birds aren’t awake yet, the sun is nowhere to be found. The only noises as Sara and Ava walk out to Ava’s rental car are those of their shoes on gravel. 

The spotlight on the front of Ava’s cabin shines eerily through the early morning fog of the spring. The whole thing is desolate in appearance. An absence of color makes Ava’s departure seem even more bleak. A fitting morning really.

They hesitate at the car for too long, dancing around the goodbye about to happen. By the time Ava works up the courage to initiate her leaving, she’s almost in tears. 

Ava doesn’t know what to do. She loves Sara, wants her, but doesn’t know how to do this right here, right now. How to couple _I want to stay_ with _I’m leaving_. It’s an impossible task, and she wishes for once she wasn’t so disciplined so she could throw all caution to the wind.

When it becomes obvious Ava doesn’t know where to start, Sara pulls her into a hug, squeezing at Ava’s waist with a grip so tight it nearly knocks the wind out of her. 

“What does this mean for us?” Sara mumbles against Ava’s chest. Ava gulps under her.

“I don’t know. I just don’t want to go.” The depth of the statement hits Ava deep in her soul. She doesn’t want to go _ever_. “I’m not going-” _to leave_ , Ava tries to say, suddenly decisive in her action. Why is she putting them through this? She can just stay.

But Sara stops Ava in her tracks with a shake of her head. “You’re going,” she instructs, under no uncertain terms. “What I said last night was me being clingy. You have to go. It’s work. I understand.” 

The back and forth of Sara practically begging Ava to say last night with this push to leave is confusing. Ava has no choice to believe what is being presented in front of her. Sara doesn’t look pissed, doesn’t seem resentful or bitter as she tells Ava to go. Sad and hurt, sure, but genuine.

Sara tilts her chin up to give Ava the saddest and saltiest goodbye kiss she’s ever had.

“Thank you for this summer. It was everything I could’ve asked for.”

Ava might’ve imagined it, but she swears Sara’s voice wobbles.

“Me too,” Ava breathes against Sara’s lips, which hover just millimeters from hers. Their foreheads are pressed together, exchanging the same air as they work out the courage to separate. 

Sara tugs on Ava’s hand, pulls her in the direction of the car. “You don’t want to miss your flight.”

She does. She really does.

The front door pops up, and Ava goes to slide into the seat. She looks back at Sara. “I’ll call you tonight when I get back from the office?”

It’s tentative, a beginner’s attempt at opening up when Ava’s not sure how Sara will feel about her after she leaves.

Sara shrugs, then smiles slightly. It’s small, impeded by the melancholy of the situation, but a smile nonetheless. “I’d like that.” 

Sara pushes the door closed as Ava turns over the ignition. The glare from the headlights makes it difficult to see Sara’s complete expression, but Ava thinks she can see Sara’s heart breaking. She tears her eyes away. If she keeps looking, she’ll never leave. 

As she turns the car, proceeds down the gravely road departing Starling Campground, Ava is trying more than anything not to hate herself for leaving. Not to hate herself for failing to say something sooner. Not to hate herself for retreating from her feelings. She had the whole summer to realize where she was at, the past week at the very least to reveal to Sara her intentions. As much as Ava wants to push the responsibility onto her boss for calling a million times and interrupting their evening, there’s no one to blame but herself.

Watching the campground fade into the rearview, all Ava can wonder is _did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?_

To say Sara’s world is flipped upside down would be an understatement. She has a distinct pain in her heart which can only be chalked up to the whiplash of the past twenty-four hours. She went from ready to tell Ava she loves her and wants to build a future to telling Ava to leave at the flip of a switch.

The entirety of the previous afternoon was spent hyping herself up for the big reveal. As much as Sara puts on a brave front, making herself vulnerable is nothing short of terrifying. Caring for someone deeply opens you up to a world of hurt and even more petrifying is the truth that you can hurt the one you love. It’s what makes feelings so scary. It’s why Sara does her best to hide from them.

For once though, Sara was ready to break away from her concealment policy. The entire night was spent in bliss under charcoal smoke and by Ava’s side. Even the teasing from their families, which would typically drive Sara up the walls, was only a mild annoyance, as it confirmed the truth. By the time they were in the privacy of Ava’s cabin, Sara needed to express in some way just how connected she felt to Ava. Perhaps jumping right into Ava’s lap could have been traded for a good emotional conversation, but in Sara’s defense, she was hardly expecting this outcome.

The sound of Ava’s phone ringing wasn’t ominous at the time, but now Sara sees it for was it truly was: a warning of things about to go wrong. If only she hadn’t told Ava just to take the call. If only they had talked about things before Ava’s boss came barreling through the phone line and ripped Ava a new one. If only, if only, if only.

And then Sara told her to go. That’s the worst part of all.

Sara would never deny Ava the opportunity to make jumps for her career. Ava works hard, has _always_ worked hard, and deserves every ounce of respect she gets. It’s not a surprise the company is threatening to fall into disarray without Ava’s presence, but why did it have to happen right now? Why did it have to happen right at the end of a summer like no other?

The sweetness of their midsummer romance only serves to contrast how sour Ava’s job is. In the heat of the moment, it didn’t feel like too much to ask Ava to stay, though hindsight paints a different picture. Regardless of how much Ava dislikes her job, it’s one she has and one she deserves, and Sara doesn’t think she has the right to ask for Ava to give it up. Definitely not for a few extra days in the love bubble. Which is why she told Ava to go.

There wasn’t really another choice in the end. Even if Ava knew her true feelings, she’d still be telling Ava to go. There’s no reason to ask her to stay.

And there’s no reason they can’t still make this work. Ava promised she’d call, and Sara knows she was genuine. It’s just hard to help the feeling that everything is going to change now that they’re back in the real world.

It’s hard because Ava left. She didn’t expect any different, but it still feels like her heart was just ripped from her chest. 

Sara gets a few restless hours of sleep after Ava departs, tossing and turning in her own bed, cold and alone. She wakes with an Ava hangover: a headache from tears held back, raw throat from words left unsaid. Her physical appearance isn’t much better than her emotional state. Dark circles stare back at Sara from the mirror in the communal bathroom, a reminder of how little rest she got.

Her dad is cooking breakfast when Sara comes back from the bathroom. His cabin is the most updated of all and features a full stovetop and oven. Bacon is sizzling in one pan on the stove, while eggs scramble in another. 

Quentin looks over at Sara and notices her dejected expression.

“Kid, don’t worry. You can work things out with the distance, even if it starts a little earlier than you wanted.”

Ava really must’ve rubbed off on Sara because it’s apparent she’s wearing her emotions on her sleeve. She’s never been so easy to read. As close as Quentin is to understanding the situation, there’s still too many missing details for him to hit the nail on the head. Sara shakes her head, not knowing how to explain that even though they didn’t break up, they never established a long term plan to begin with, so there isn’t really a future. It wasn’t just that their summer ended earlier than expected, it’s that there was never a plan for something new to start. 

“I just can’t believe she actually left,” Sara chokes out, in perfect time for Quentin to swoop her into a hug. She lets out a shuddering breath over her father’s shoulder and tries to hold herself together. It’s the last few days of her dad’s birthday vacation. This isn’t about her and her mistakes. It’s about him.

Laurel and Tommy walk into the room as they embrace, and Laurel catches Sara’s eye. Of all the things Sara thinks she can handle right now, Laurel isn’t one of them. Laurel is going to have feelings about this, but right now Sara is more concerned with taking any and all feelings and shoving them in a box, buried deep beneath the ground. She doesn’t want Laurel’s two cents on how she would’ve handled the situation so much differently. She doesn’t want her advice or her judgment or her pity. 

Laurel is nothing if not persistent though, and despite Sara’s best efforts, she just can’t manage to escape from Laurel and her know-all attitude today. Sara really does try. She’s snappy and mopey, she sends every signal of toxic energy which says _I really ,really don’t want to talk about it_ , yet none of it even fazes Laurel. She takes it in stride, which only makes Sara’s temper shorter.

She avoids Laurel with a long run, a distance encounter where she channels all of her irritation for Laurel, her hurt over Ava, and her hatred for herself into just another mile. It shouldn’t matter so much, Sara tells herself. She got more than she ever wanted or hoped from a fake relationship. She has other things to worry about. It’s compartmentalization at its finest: each negative emotion being sorted away and covered by the little things Sara can control, like making her dad’s birthday shine.

Even with Ava’s early departure, there’s no hard feelings. Not really. Sure, Sara’s hurt, but she doesn’t know what she was hoping for. Ava to stay behind for a few days wasn’t in the cards and to wish for more is nothing but some immature desire to be the main object of someone’s affections. Her heart is aching, but it’s nothing she can’t handle. Sara will bounce back like she always does.

Still, as she tells herself a hard workout will cure everything, Sara can’t help but think how Ava has changed her for the better in such a short amount of time. Ava makes her want to be better, so if Sara’s going to go back to Central City alone, she’s not just going to sit there and do nothing. She’s going to make a change.

Just like Ava said in an offhand comment at the start of vacation, gym owner Sara Lance has a ring to it. If she’s going to go back, she’s going to do something to make herself better. She’s going to take the next steps. If Ava’s the architect of the change then so be it. 

When she returns from her run, Sara is in better, albeit still glum, spirits. The thought of changing her future gives Sara the illusion of control she needs until Laurel comes up behind her, spewing questions about Ava. Sara ignores them as long as possible, but eventually she can’t take it anymore. She snaps.

“Just stop, Laurel!” Sara’s growl has her sister taking a step back, eyes wide. “Stop trying to orchestrate things, okay? This wasn’t meant to be. It was just a summer fling.”

For perhaps the first time all summer, Laurel seems to be lost for words regarding their relationship. Whatever she wanted to stay before is stalled by the way Sara jumps down her throat. 

“She _left_ , okay? It wasn’t real. And look, I know what everyone says-”

“Sara,” Laurel interrupts in a warning tone. It doesn’t dissuade her.

“-that I’m not meant to be with someone forever, that I sleep around too much, and that I’m not built for romance-”

“Sara.” A little more insistent this time, but Sara’s still going off.

“I was so _stupid_ to think everyone was wrong and that this could be it. But you can give up now, it’s over. We had a good run, but now it’s over- ”

“Sara! Stop,” Laurel reaches her hands out to Sara’s biceps, holding them steady to get her attention, “Just stop. Take a breath.”

Sara pulls her arms out of Laurel’s grasp, but she grows quiet, arching an eyebrow to indicate she’s ready to listen.

“It doesn’t have to be over. She’s scared and so are you. Stop jumping to conclusions and talk this through.” Sara crosses her arms defensively. “Why didn’t you tell her how you feel?” Laurel implores, her voice now soft rather than insistent.

It’s the wrong thing to say. Sara takes another step back, scoffing under her breath. How dare Laurel try and pin this on her? Sure, Sara didn’t tell Ava about her feelings, but Ava left. It was a two part deal. And, okay, maybe Sara isn’t doing as good of a job at pushing this away as she thought. There may not be "hard feelings", but there’s definitely hints of betrayal hidden under the surface. 

Maybe Ava leaving stings more than Sara initially thought. It's just that it confirmed all her worst fears, all the terrible rumors exes have spread in the past about her. That Sara isn't a long-term type of girl. That she isn't a one woman-woman. That she's damaged.

“Just leave me alone.”

“You’re obviously in no state to be left alone.”

Sara rolls her eyes. “I’ll be fine. It’s not a big deal.”

Laurel looks like she’s going to argue, so Sara offers an alternative. “Let me just focus on Daddy. If you’re not going to leave me alone, then you can be quiet and help me set up his birthday shit for tomorrow.”

“Stop,” Laurel says again, “Just let yourself be sad for a minute.”

“There is no letting myself be sad. We all knew how this was going to end. I’m not sad. We had a good summer, okay? Can we just end it that way?”

In the end, Laurel gives in. She agrees to be silent in exchange for Sara’s company decorating the seldom used picnic pavilion later in the day, leaving her alone to cool down after their spat.

By the time Sara finished showering, it’s close to eleven. The sun is starting to beat down, the sky a solid blue without a single cloud to blemish its purity. It’s an exact contrast to the gloomy and foggy atmosphere from Ava’s early departure. For Ava not to be here to experience the perfect day seems like a sin.

She thinks of texting Ava, but holds herself back. She’s probably close to landing and then she’ll be making a mad dash to the office. A distraction from Sara, one which might rub in her face what she’s missing out on, is the last thing Ava needs. Sara palms itch to talk to Ava despite her better nature.

For once, the universe may have heard Sara’s call. 

Her phone vibrates in her back pocket, and Sara’s heart skips a beat when she sees the caller. It’s Ava. She hates how easily a call from Ava brings a smile to her face after spending the morning agonizing, but in the end, it’s hard to hate anything about Ava. 

“Hey,” Sara answers, a smile in her voice. “Landed safe?”

“Uh,” Ava hesitates. It’s hard to tell if Ava is shuffling through the airport or already in a car, but Sara takes it as an affirmative regardless.

“Are you on your way to work?”

“I don’t really want to talk about work.”

Right. 

“What did you call to talk about? Not that I’m not happy to hear your voice, I just, you had to go. And I know you had to save the day and it’s okay, I’m just-” She’s confused. And a little heartbroken. Sara hates how Ava can probably hear it in her voice, but Ava calling this soon feels a bit like rubbing salt in the wound.

“Where are you right now?”

Sara furrows her brows. “In my cabin?”

“Will you go out on the porch?”

“Will I go out on the porch…?” Sara repeats the question at half speed.

“Just humor me.” 

Whatever Sara is expecting when she goes out outside, it’s not this. It’s not Ava’s car pulling down the gravel. It’s not Ava stepping sheepishly out of the driver's side and ascending the steps of the cabin.

Sara’s arm dangles down at her side in disbelief, the phone limp in her hand. 

“What are you doing here?” Sara’s brain kicks into gear. Ava is here. Ava should be in Chicago. “What are you _doing_ here?”

“I shouldn’t have left. I made a huge mistake.”

Sara shakes her head, befuddled. What is Ava doing here? It’s obvious she made a huge mistake; Ava’s not on the one flight her entire job hinges upon. 

“Did your flight get canceled? You’re supposed to be half a country away. What are you doing?” Sara asks for the third time. This doesn’t make sense. 

“I need to tell you something.”

“You needed to tell me this something right now when you’re supposed to be in the air?” Sara’s trying to make sense of Ava and how she materialized in front of her after mourning her absence for half the day. 

They’re face to face now, Ava looking down at Sara with guilt in her eyes. And something else. Fear.

“I’m so sorry I left. I shouldn’t have,” Ava says. 

Sara’s face softens. “Ava, I don’t understand…” Why she is here. And what she’s about to say.

“I left because I was afraid.”

“I know, of losing your job.” 

“No. Not of that.” Ava darts her hand towards Sara, then pulls back. It hovers awkwardly in the air, like she isn’t sure if she’s allowed to touch Sara. “Of telling you how I feel and then losing you.” 

It comes out as a quick rush. _OftellingyouhowIfeelandthenlosingyou._

Sara’s jaw drops, then the words hit. “How you feel?” Her lips twitch at the corners. 

For a blissful minute, Sara’s brain shuts down. It stops trying to connect the dots and fill in the missing seven hours of Ava’s day. Instead, she listens.

“I love you, Sara, and I want to be with you. I’ve been afraid because I care for you more than I’ve ever cared for anyone else. I’ve cared for you my entire life. And I love you, more than anything. More than everything. 

“I was going to tell you so many times, but I didn’t know how you felt and I kept getting in my own head, and then last night I went to tell you and my stupid boss called. But I need you to know. I love you. I love you more than my stupid job, and, oh, I quit my job-”

“You quit your job?!”

Ava waves it off. “That’s not the point. You make me the person I want to be. Being with you is the happiest I’ve ever been, and I know it was just supposed to be fake, I know it was fake, but-”

“Ava, this is real. It’s real.”

“It’s real?”

Sara grasps the hand Ava is still holding halfway between their bodies. She gives it a tight squeeze. If Ava’s baring her soul, she may as well too.

“It’s so real, the way I feel about you. You’re talking about being in love with me, I’m in love with you. I’ve loved you practically since I was sixteen, and I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to make you regret this summer, but the second you left, I knew I was going to regret not telling you everything. So here it is: I love you. I know this is crazy, and it might not work, but I want to be with you, no matter what that looks like. Longer than the summer.”

Ava’s hands fly up, one to Sara’s cheek, the other to the small of her back, and she pulls Sara in, pulls Sara’s lips to crash against her own, like Sara’s oxygen and Ava’s drowning. Sara can tell it’s different this time. This is different from the awkward, quick kisses they exchanged at the beginning of all this. It’s different from the kisses laced with purpose they’ve shared in bed. This is Ava’s feelings overflowing and pouring into Sara’s mouth.

Ava loves her. Ava _loves_ her. And now Sara knows. 

And Ava knows too. Everything is going to be okay now, because Ava knows for sure: Sara loves her back.

The next evening is one of celebration. Sparklers are lit, beers tabs are popped, the grill is alight, and everyone is beaming. The pavilion is done up with gaudy streamers and tacky foil balloons and an even tackier piñata from Sara and Ava’s shopping trip a few days prior. 

Quentin and Hank are hogging the guitar once again, singing out of tune as various younger campers try their best to confiscate the instrument to no avail. Around them, everyone munches on watermelon and cake, letting the last few spoils of summer drip down their chins and into their stomachs. In just three days, the crowds will be clearing out, back to their day jobs, back to live meetings and urban apartments and adult responsibilities. 

Sara and Ava haven’t fully decided what that means for them.

_“I get to the airport, right? After crying the whole way there and wondering why I left. I make it through security and everything, and then my boss calls. 'Check your email,' he says. 'There’s a report for the meeting.' And you know what it was?" Ava’s filling Sara in on what happened between her dawn goodbye and afternoon cabin-front speech._

_“It was a goddamn proposal to buy a nationwide gym franchise. The bank wants to expand their footprint and take ownership of this brand. I’m sitting in the airport reading this, and I hear my gate being called, and all I can think about is you._

_“Why did I give up being with you for something like this? I don’t want to be the person who leaves someone amazing for a company who cares about money and not people. I realized the person I want to be I left three hours away in the campground I grew up in. And even worse, I left the person I want to be with._

_“It just all seemed so stupid. I can’t believe I left in the first place. I never want to make that mistake again.”_

That was the night before, after an illuminating reunion and a tearful expression of love. It was after their hurt turned to joy because their feelings were not only accepted but reciprocated. They’re both in the same spot: head over heels for each other, despite how hard they denied it, how much they tried to convince themselves it wasn’t true. And now they’re smushed together on a wooden picnic table, thighs pressed together and Sara’s head on Ava’s shoulder.

Quentin looks up from the guitar and catches a glimpse of Sara and Ava. Sara doesn’t see it, but he flashes a smile at Ava, mouths the words _thank you_. She feels Ava’s head shake above her.

“What’s up?”

Ava juts her chin in Quentin’s direction. “Your dad was just thanking me.”

“For what?”

“Making you happy, I think. Really I should be thanking him.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, if he hadn’t been on your case about being single, you might not have come up with one harebrained scheme.”

Sara’s mouth falls open in mock disbelief. “I seem to believe that “harebrained scheme” is the reason you fell in love with me.”

A noise of approval comes from Ava’s chest, half-disgruntled at the admittance. 

“Don’t sound so upset. You can always cut things off now if you’re not satisfied with the end result,” Sara jokes, leaning her body away from Ava’s. Ava circles her wrist easily, tugging Sara back to her side.

“Don’t even think about it. You’re stuck with me now.”

Sara’s smile is so wide she thinks her cheeks will ache tomorrow. 

Ava slides her arm over Sara’s shoulders as Sara sinks into Ava’s side, where she fits best. Somewhere behind her, Behrad and Zari are bickering. Nate and Ray interject themselves in the argument, while Charlie and Astra come to Zari’s defense. Across the pavilion, Dot presses a kiss to Hank’s cheek, before dabbing at the corner of his mouth with her thumb. 

“Did you ever think you’d be here?” The question drops from Sara’s lips as she thinks it.

“Jobless and back at Starling? No.” Sara nudges her elbow to Ava’s side. “Oh, you mean dating little Lance. Definitely not.”

“Hey!”

Ava chuckles, turning to ask Sara the same question, but Sara beats her to it with another of her own.

“Do you think it’ll be like this in ten years?” 

Ava’s eyebrows raise in a silent question. The implication is more than clear, that they’d be here together in ten years. 

“And I thought _I_ was supposed to initiate the U-Hauling.” Cue another affectionate eye roll from Sara. “Well, I hope the bathrooms get updated before them. Those showers are starting to show their age.”

 _Come on_ , Sara thinks. “You’re deflecting. I really must be rubbing off on you.”

“Would that be so terrible?” Ava asks, but Sara just sits patiently, waiting for Ava’s genuine answer. “I think it’ll be different, but good different. Ray and Nora will probably have popped out three or four kids by then. My uncle will still be fighting over the guitar though, and I can’t imagine Laurel will stop butting into our business.”

Sara snorts. If that isn’t the truth. “Do you think you’ll still be flying in from Chicago?”

“God, I hope not. I’m not sure there’s anything interesting in Chicago for me anymore.”

Impulse control is not one of Sara's strong suits, and she makes it obvious as she blurts out, “Come back to Central City with me."

“What?”

“Just move in with me. I don’t care where, start a life with me. I know it’s crazy-”

“That is crazy.” 

“But crazy can be good. If it backfires you can always just leave me and get some new fancy job.”

In Sara’s eyes, Ava can see there’s not a hint of deception. This is Sara being genuine. It’s phrased as a spur of the moment idea, but this is far from the first time Sara has seemingly dropped a plan out of nowhere right into Ava’s lap.

“I can think of a hundred reasons this is a terrible idea,” Ava says, and Sara flashes back to the last time she heard those words. Fake dating, while not a traditional route, was hardly the _worst_ idea she’s ever had. In fact, Sara is pretty proud of the results, even if the path was rocky.

“You said that last time.”

“I almost broke your heart,” Ava points out, but Sara waves it away, as if to say _semantics_. A miscommunication on their part. It won’t happen again. They’ll learn from their mistakes. The scariest part is already over and done with; how can it be anything but smooth sailing going forward?

“I love you.” 

And really, that’s all Ava needs to hear. Sara loves her, Sara is hers, and she is Sara’s. From here they can figure it all out.

“I love you too,” Ava sighs, leaning in for a kiss. It's crazy how just a few weeks ago Ava felt awkward even holding Sara's hand in public. Being with her now is the most natural thing in the world.

It's as if the kiss confirms everything Sara needs to know. She smiles, certain she’s already won. “So does that mean yes?”

Ava looks around, at her friends and family laughing, shouting, growing sleepy. She’d be happy to do this for the rest of her life. Summers at Quentin’s campground, family holidays with her best friend, living with someone who knows her better than anyone else, Ava thinks she could live with it. Thrive on it.

With a smile, Ava says yes. It’s the easiest yes she gives all summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to those who have read along with this fic! It was a pleasure to write and share with you all!! I was really pumped to bring together some childhood nostalgia with fake dating and big feelings, and I hope y'all enjoyed too. If you're so inclined, please feel free to give me a shout about things you liked (or about things you just want to scream about because I'm feelingly insecure about this ending despite it being exactly what I wanted from it, you know how it goes, writers feeling a little needy and looking for validation about writing). Until next time xx
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @justpalsbeingals


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